Opening lines?
Jan 25, 2014 21:27:48 GMT -5
Post by Pumpkiny on Jan 25, 2014 21:27:48 GMT -5
Hey, guys! I'm so glad I found this section of the site. It seems I need some help. I'm starting on my creative writing project for school, meaning I only have a little bit of my thing done. But as the opening lines capture a reader's attention, I would love it if I could have a short critique on what I have so far. Thanks!
The moment I wake up, I think I am blind. Darkness surrounds me, clutching me in its great fist. Sheer terror runs through my veins as I open my mouth, meaning to scream, to yell in desperation. But my mouth has a mind of its own, and makes no sound. I do not know where I am. I do not know how I got here.
I, Alice Parsons, am seemingly lost in the void, with little hope of ever escaping it.
“Okay,” I mutter after partially collecting myself. “We need to think. I need to find out where I am. And then I need to find a way out. You can do this, Alice. You just need to think.”
My chest tightens as I rise up from what feels like a cold, wet stone floor, sweat dripping from every single one of my pores. I am still scared. But then again, I’ve always been scared.
Relax, my mind says as I release a deep breath, but my guard doesn’t let down as I start to move slowly.
I outstretch my hands as I walk around the room, my breathing ragged and uneven. But I only need to take six steps before my foot hits something, nearly tripping over it.
I bend down as I grab the small object, feeling every detail so I can figure out what the hell it is. There’s a rubber button at its base, which is either a blessing, a curse, or absolutely useless.
I press it and pray.
The moment I wake up, I think I am blind. Darkness surrounds me, clutching me in its great fist. Sheer terror runs through my veins as I open my mouth, meaning to scream, to yell in desperation. But my mouth has a mind of its own, and makes no sound. I do not know where I am. I do not know how I got here.
I, Alice Parsons, am seemingly lost in the void, with little hope of ever escaping it.
“Okay,” I mutter after partially collecting myself. “We need to think. I need to find out where I am. And then I need to find a way out. You can do this, Alice. You just need to think.”
My chest tightens as I rise up from what feels like a cold, wet stone floor, sweat dripping from every single one of my pores. I am still scared. But then again, I’ve always been scared.
Relax, my mind says as I release a deep breath, but my guard doesn’t let down as I start to move slowly.
I outstretch my hands as I walk around the room, my breathing ragged and uneven. But I only need to take six steps before my foot hits something, nearly tripping over it.
I bend down as I grab the small object, feeling every detail so I can figure out what the hell it is. There’s a rubber button at its base, which is either a blessing, a curse, or absolutely useless.
I press it and pray.
