syrena fray ✦ district one ✦ fin

"Don't forget about me!" A small girl with her fair hair pulled up in a simple ponytail tugged on her mother's index finger with a scowl on her face. The young boy on the mother's back stuck his tongue out at her and the girl holding her other hand sighed. "Don't be silly, Syrena-" The woman started, then turned her glance on the other daughter. "Why does she always do that, Momma?" "She just wants to feel wanted, El. We all feel that way now and again, yes?" Elvena pursed her lips together. "I guess so..." The mother laughed and pulled her daughters closer. "Alright, then."

Winter was always the worst for me, and the coldest both inside and out of my own heart. It seemed I shut myself down like some sort of machine that had grown outdated, and what was worse was that I felt like a machine too. My body went through the motions day to day, smiling at my friends, convincing boys to do my homework, holding my rapier just right as I attacked a piece of plastic, (At times I couldn't tell the difference between that plastic and myself.) but mentally I was elsewhere, too much concerned with what the spring's warm embrace would bring.

Sunlight, flowers, life, it was all too exciting to ever ignore. Perhaps the reason I despised the bitter and harsh months filled with snow and sharp winds was because there wasn't much life, only wilting and suffering and forgetting what true joy felt like. Perhaps it was because I was merely too lazy to leave my home in such poor conditions. I never was really sure, and that is how my life went.

I was never sure.

Yet I had grown quite accustomed to pretending I did. People were always patting me on the leg and nodding their approval of me as if I needed it, my friends bragged to strangers claiming I was oh-so put together, but in complete truth, I had never been closer to falling apart. I was but a reflection of my siblings, or so I felt, and tears left trails of cracked shards one too many times in my childhood before my heart turned to iron, no longer pumping blood through my veins, but in it's place only adrenaline.

Energy that pushed me to become something greater than myself, something closer to perfection. Before long, people noticed my changes, and a little part of me hoped they wouldn't like them, that they would beg for the once innocent little girl in the distant pathway that was my past, but no one did. I only received praise for my new-found confidence, and my refusal to ever give up on something my heart truly wanted. They applauded my quick tongue, the way I was so easy to hurt those that crossed me, (the mental games were always my own, the physical was more Elvena or Trylle's.)

So I stayed that way.

"Seriously, Rena, how much more make up can you fit on your face?!" Usually, it was her sister that complained about the time it took her to perfect the flaws on her face, but this time it was Trylle that yelled from the other side of the door. "It hasn't even been ten minutes yet!" She snapped. "You don't even need that mu-" Yanking the door open with only one eye lined in black and the other still bare, Syrena glared at the blonde boy. Her brother clasped a hand over his mouth and nodded. "On second thought, you do. You totally do." Then he turned and walked away.

I kept my surface as it was, no longer a mirror, but a stone. Not a stone, a diamond, or so I thought, because I felt as if everyone noticed me. I became popular and my peers no longer mistook me for my sister. (Though Elvena's choice of refusing to wear much make up was a contributing factor.) It was still obvious that she and I were born together. Even Trylle looked like a boy version of us. All of us had delicate strands of blonde hair, pale skin, large nostrils, and all of us were petite, which was a blessing for me and a curse for my brother.

I still wasn't entirely sure who I was as a person, but I knew I was always closer to finding out. Every second brought me one more step down the pathway that was my life, and all that was left to do was wait and find out what exactly my curious blue eyes would find when tomorrow came. I would be ready for it. I would always be ready for it.

Pride stretched from ear to ear as the crowd cheered. She pulled her gown up a bit so she could walk past all of the other girls, each sporting a jealous glare as they watched Syrena Fray claim the roses, the confetti, and, yes, the crown. It fit her so perfectly, suited her hair so well, she just knew it was made just for her. She thought maybe that if her mother were still around, she would have finally heard the words she always looked for from her:

"You are a winner, after all, Rena."

My mother shouldn't have died at such an early age, but no amount of money would have saved her from the lung disease that laid her in a casket and tossed her in a hole. The doctors said she must have had asthma as a child, and no doubt she'd been too stubborn to tell anyone or get some help, but over the years it had developed into something terrible and obviously irrevocable. My Dad died shortly after from a broken heart, in all honesty, which I found shocking. He wasn't cold as much as he was distant, but my siblings swore that he spent every free moment with our mom, and with her gone, he was no longer whole.

"This is my room," Her cousin declared. "No one is allowed in here." She ignored the bitter edge in Kellan's words and sat on the edge of his bed. "You'll have to take me out." She said, crossing her legs and placing her hands on her knee. She knew even as she said the words he would take them seriously, but it seemed like only a single second passed before his hands were lifting her into the air. "Put me down, Kellan!" She said, trying her hardest to wriggle free, but he only laughed. "You chose this, remember?" He sat her on the ground and slammed the door in her face as she tried to follow him in. Kicking the door once, she stormed away. Dinner would be ready soon, anyway.

O T H E R

odair

clemence poesy
"my love" - sia

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