Jason Matheson [D7]

J a s o n + M a t h e s o n

My name is Jason Matheson. I live in Panem and I hail from District seven. I have lived for fifteen years.

{A P P E A R A N C E} I would be lying if I said I didn't care about my appearance because I do, I care about it as much as a kid from seven can care about his appearance. My hair is short and jet black, short and stringy. It's as black as coal and soft like a pillow. It contrasts quite well with my pale, white skin. My eyes are dark as well, very dark brown so that they look almost black, the whites of my eyes makes the darkness of my pupils stand out even more. My nose is quite long and pointed as well but what can I do about it? There's no nose jobs here, there's no appearance altering surgeries in seven.

People often say I am quite tall and lanky for my age, standing at 5'10 and being quite skinny, hence why people call me lanky. My face doesn't have hair growing on it but my body does like any other teenage boy would, hair on my arms, legs, a bit on my back and chest. One could say that puberty has been hitting me hard because all these changes are happening so fast and so early. I only weigh about 150 pounds last time I checked because we're wealthy enough to afford a scale. So I've always been the tallest and skinniest in my class and out of all my friends.

I'd like to say my dental hygiene is on par. I don't eat sweets because we don't really buy them very often, and to be honest I'm surprisingly okay with that, they're not that good anyway and they'll just rot your teeth right? The sweets here aren't even that good.

{P E R S O N A L I T Y} Am I stupid?

A lot of people seem to call me stupid. Just because I don't understand all of these jokes and weird references people around the house make, does that make me stupid? Sometimes they're just really hard to understand. Just because I don't always get that A grade or that A* and sometimes get the C or D, does that make me stupid? To be honest I'd like to think not. Just because I don't voice my opinion much does that make me stupid? To everyone else those things make me 'stupid' or 'dumb'. Just because a lot of these baffle me easier than others, does that make me stupid?

It's not my fault I don't understand things as quickly or easy than other people. Most of the time I don't even listen, most of the time my mind isn't even focusing on the reality confronting me. I like to retreat to my own daydreams a lot because reality is so constricting, my mind is so much more free and my imagination is limitless. There's so much more possibilities and to be completely honest it's just much more fun in there than District seven. I don't like paying attention in class or paying attention to when my brothers or sister lecture me about something so I just retreat to the depths of my mind. I guess that's why I come off as a bit stupid or absent minded because I'm never listening and because I don't listen I don't get things as quickly as others. Or when someone makes a joke and they laugh sometimes I just don't get the joke. Does it make me stupid? No it doesn't!

I guess because of this I've never truly felt accepted by my own family. Miles doesn't treat me like a member of the family, and I hate that, all I want to do is be accepted, is that too much to ask? Is that such astupid request?

Not that I ever do anything about this kind of thing. I prefer to stay out of conflict, I guess this is one of the reasons I never voice my opinions. Most of the time disagreeing with someone simply causes arguments so why would I cause arguments when all I need to do it go with what their saying? I mean sure some could say that I have no mind of my own but that's just what they think. It's quit funny that I don't like to be in conflict when our household is basically never ending conflict. Everyone wants to be the 'ruler' of the house hold. It's as if everyone hates each other and I'm just there. Sometimes one of my brothers or sisters will ask me to do help them with something to piss someone else off and I'll just go with it, not that I find it amusing or anything (well sometimes) but most of the time it's not that funny. I have no interest in being the most powerful in the house which makes me feel so left out sometimes but what can I do about it really? Everyone likes me because I don't get on their bad side and I just do what they say. I can't remember the last time somebody in the family has had a problem with me and I would prefer to keep it that way thank you very much.

{H I S T O R Y} The Mathesons, there's so much to say about them, like every family there's good things and bad things about them but honestly I just feel like there's way more bad than good. When I was young, I already realized that home life would be a war zone, constantly fighting for the upper hand, trying to gain ground and be the strongest despite the fact that we were family. Everyone is power hungry and everyone seems to have something to prove. Even me. It may seem stupid and flat but I always wanted to be accepted. All I wanted to do was be seen as a member of the family, even from a young age.

But I just never was.

As I grew older and older I began to understand my family more, my quite dysfunctional family. Our household was a war zone. Although I felt more like an observer than always a part of it, Miles views me as stupid, he's the oldest, not much I can do against him. This is my world and it's what I know. My parents, they were mother and father but not mum and dad. They simply let everyone do what they wanted, they seemed to have almost no authority and let everyone run wild, occasionally doing something when something was taken too far in our children's constant power struggle. Even through the years I was just there, I never really listened, I never really paid attention to reality because reality was the same boring power struggle.

So I retreated to my imagination.

I guess because of this I was always seen as stupid as I went from being a child to a teenager. I never really understood jokes or references the family told, maybe I would understand it a few hours later, I never really saw myself as slow but everyone else did. And thus they started taking advantage of me, asking me to do things to help with their own individual power struggles and quests. I guess you could say I had no free will but I just didn't want to get involved in the fights like they did, anything to avoid further conflict so I just did it, it wasn't hurting me personally right?

And that is how I've survived this household, it's not exactly the flashiest way or the most ethical way, but it's still a way.

ODAIR