cambria dempsey ; district one ; fin

a p p e a r a n c e » I'm beautiful, right?

When I was eleven, I cut all my hair off with a razorblade.
It's ironic, looking back, but-
I've kept it short since then. I like to feel the wind on my neck and my shoulders. Long hair feels like it's tying me down, holding me in place.
I like the air, I like the wind, I like to think about flying. Sometimes I have dreams of growing wings and leaving here.
Here's what I look like: short brown hair, sharp cheekbones, dark eyes, long legs, scars.
I like to leave cuts lacing up my wrists and thighs. It makes me feel okay.
I don't wear much, even in the winter.
I think that's the opposite of what I'm supposed to do. Most people who cut, they want to hide the marks, but I don't care who sees them. There's no point in concealing things. People are going to find out eventually.

I'm pretty tall for a girl- 5'9"ish. I'm pretty comfortable with my height- actually, with my body in general. I love the way I look, and when I don't, I do something to get it how I want it. Like my hair being the most major example.
I wear short shorts and tank tops and sometimes fishnets. I call it slutty casual, cause it's casual enough to be comfortable but covers little enough that I'm frowned at by old people in the street. I don't try to hide my body- look, if I'm hot, I'm going to show it, okay?
I don't career train but I do exercise- mostly just running around the District. I'm definitely not as strong as some of the other teens, but I'm pretty fit. I think. I look good, anyway. Whatever.

p e r s o n a l i t y » smoke & fire

Peel back your skin and show the muscle and bone. Cut yourself deep and let the scars form lacing up your skin. Show your deepest self to the world and don't hold back anything-
That's something of how I view life. Don't hide anything, don't hold back. Show it all and don't care who can stand it.

Cornua subter cutem. That's Latin. It was a dead language even Before, so I don't see why I have to learn it now. I don't take lessons anymore, but my grandparents made me, back when they thought I was going to be a proper lady. I didn't get much out of it other than a few phrases here and there. And that sentence right there means "wings underneath the skin." I don't know why I latched onto it, but I did.
It's the one phrase I still remember. I'm probably going to get it tattooed onto my skin at some point. Maybe around my wrist or my ankle.

People try to cover up their flaws, and I don't get it. Rip yourself open, show people your bones. Show them what they aren't seeing if you're not being who they want. Don't lie about your deepest, darkest secrets. Embrace them.

I haven't killed anyone yet. But if I do, I won't try to hide it. I'll probably get rid of the body, sure, but I don't see the point in lies and alibis and all that. If you're caught, you're caught.
If I have an impulse, I'm going to take it.
People who suppress their instincts are my least favorite kind of people. If something is going to happen, it's going to happen. You can't change fate, so why not have fun getting there? Don't tell yourself "you can change things" or "this time will be different" or any of that. What's the point? Why does it matter?

Oh, and I'm kind of a slut, too.
No, really, like, people call me that, and I'm like "yeah, I know, great, right?" Seriously, it's like ohmygodsomuchfun. I'll basically sleep with whoever I want to sleep with. And if someone like, turns me down- I'm not even mad. Weird, right? I mean, I'm a Dempsey, I'm supposed to go batshit and skin them or something.

There's really only one thing that I can't deal with, and that's lying. I'm fine with fuckups, but coverups- that's where I can't deal anymore. That's the line. You can do anything illegal and I'll forgive you just fine, but lie to me, and I'm not going to ever talk to you again, I swear. It's the truth.

I'm a really tactile person, too. As in, if you're talking to me, I'm probably going to be hugging you or playing with your hair or fidgeting somehow. It's just a little quirk of mine.
I've never done Career training, thank goodness- it's just about the only thing my grandparents didn't make me do. I'm glad about that. Who knows what I would do with a knife in my hand? I mean, millions could die! Millions!
Okay, not really. But who knows? The crazy's in my blood. It's just fact.

Make a wish when your childhood dies
Hear the knock, knock, knock when she cries
We're all alone tonight
Hold your breath when a black bird flies
Count to seventeen and close your eyes
I'll keep you safe inside

h i s t o r y » blood is thicker than

I found out I was a Dempsey when I was eleven.
Stop. Hold on. Rewind.
My mother was a teenager when I was born. I think she ran away? Or died. Something like that, I don't know. I've never met her.
I was raised by my grandparents. That's where the Elswood comes from. And, oh- they were my mother's parents. Definitely not my father's.
I always knew that my grandparents were-my grandparents. Not my parents. But I just sort of assumed I didn't have a dad. So I grew up Cambria Elswood. And sure, I wondered sometimes, but-
I found out I was a Dempsey when I was eleven.
I had been asking them more and more, and then one day they kind of flipped out and they told me, and I- I wasn't horrified. I wasn't shocked. I wasn't even that surprised, because suddenly, everything made sense. That was why I felt wrong in my life, in my body, that was why I didn't belong, that was why I was wrong all the time.
And so I changed my name. It's still Elswood for the reaping and everything. But I don't respond to that name anymore. That's not me. That's a little girl that my grandparents wanted. They thought by not telling me I somehow wouldn't be "like them," they said. Sorry. You can't change your blood.
I don't know what kind of crazy I am, but there's something.

That was around the same time I cut all my hair off, you might have noticed. Yeah.
I decided if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. So I went into the bathroom, and I locked the door, and I found a razor- and. My grandparents were angry, but I didn't care, because I didn't consider them my family anymore.

Once I started calling myself a Dempsey, people didn't look at me the same way. They gave me all these weird looks and acted like I had changed. It was like I was a different person all of a sudden. I wasn't honestly too broken up about it. I'm the same person I've always been. I just know who that is better now.

I've always been a pretty social person. When I was younger, I was pretty popular with the upper-class teens. Of course, I was more of comic relief than anything, looking back, but. Still. After my - I don't know what to call it. Dempseyfication? The thing when I was eleven. After that, they all kind of avoided me, so I maybe dropped down a social level or two, basically. I didn't start sleeping around for another few years, of course. I'm promiscuous, but not that promiscuous.


And like I said- see, I haven't actually talked to any other Dempseys yet. As in, I don't think they know I exist. How weird is that to think about? Cause I feel like I belong with them. But maybe I don't. Maybe that's why I haven't talked to them, cause, I don't know, I finally found somewhere I belong and turns out I don't belong there or something like that. Yeah, no. I just haven't tried yet. When I do, it'll be great.

codeword:


comments/other: first rp in a long time. i'm sorry. that is all i can say.
lyrics; "Home"-Daughter; "The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know"-Panic At The Disco; "S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W"-My Chemical Romance
fc; szandra szilvassy

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