Anticeptic Burn [Edgar and Arwen]

the peacekeeper didn't think i was worth following up on
he didn't even take down my name
and so i arrived home
with a bruise blossoming around my eye
casting a shadow over everything i see

they have taken the smallest of us
yet she is not the most vunerable, not the most weak
they have snatched her greedily, hungrily
and there is no reason why she should be the last
because their appetite never ceases
they can never be full; their bloodlust can't be quenched

and i step inside a house
where everyone is fearing for a little girl
and pretending not to fear for themselves
nobody has noticed the roof is leaking
i don't kick a pan beneath the drip
i let it seap into the carpet
the world should think about what it has done

the house is quiet
too quiet
for today all i want is to scream and shout and cry
i want to declare war
but i am a child, in truth
and my enemies are a universe
i cannot pretend that i am strong enough to battle any demon
least of all myself

the kitchen has glasses
seven of them, each of them smudged and dirty
we wash them but clammering hands want to drink
more than they want to clean
and sometimes there are less cups than people
and we shout
now i am alone in the kitchen
i take a glass in each hand
and bring them down against the counter

i see blood, i feel blood, and glass, in tiny fragmented pieces
skattered in all directions
this is what i feel like
broken crockery, scarlet blooming hatred
i am crimson

"fuck" i say into the gloom
not because anybody will hear and scold me
(after all, the smallest member of our household is very much gone)
but because i thought i might feel less alone
with words to keep me company
i thought wrong

i go to find edgar in the hope he has something to drink
i have never drunk before
it always tasted bitter and like the kind of thing
i wouldnt like to swallow
like expensive bleach
and yet right now i ache for it to burn my throat
my stomach
my heart
all the way down right inside of me
i want to be on fire

"edgar" i call out, and i stumble into his room
sure enough, he sits in the chair facing the doorway
looking an absolute fucking mess
i cradle my bleeding palms and think
that makes the two of us

"hey, give me some of that, will you?" i say
and without waiting for his reply i snatch the bottle from his hand
and swallow once, twice, three times, four
five


and then i sigh and melt onto the floor below the window
i stain his sheets, i stain his walls
(i don't care)