♠ Ree Fer | [D3] ♠

Name: Ree Stark Fer
Age: Seventeen
District: Three
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Straight

ODAIR

I am a mess.

That's what everyone calls me, a bloody mess. And I guess it's probably completely 100% true, I am a mess, I'm everything parents tell their kiddies not to be. A druggie, a gambler, a lazy guy, failing in school, I'm the exact opposite of what a parent would want their son to be. But do I care? Fuck no. In fact I think our whole family is quite fucked up to be completely honest, life is fucked up and that's just it, just look at the evidence. Everyone thinks our family is cursed because we're had so many tragedies happen to us generation to generation, although we are quite wealthy we have so many damn children in the damn family I've even lost count of all of the relatives I have. I can't even remember some of their names.. I don't care if people consider me 'fucked up' because chances are their lives are fucked up behind closed doors as well. I'm just more open about my fucked up life, what I do is fun, my whole life style is fun and therefore I refuse to change it.

At school, ugh school I hate it, they all know that I'm fucked up, I mean you can probably tell just by looking at me. Despite me being quite tall I'm also skinny as hell, I'm 6'3 so I'm tall, even for my age I'm tall but I'm also too skinny, I only weigh about 70 kilograms, I don't really have muscle or body fat on me, I don't eat much, I really don't, my parents say it ain't healthy but I don't care. Sometimes I miss meals because I'll be out gambling and getting drugs, and when I come back I only eat a little bit of left overs. My little bro Kinsey knows where I'll have been and I think he's twelve, or thirteen, or was it fourteen? (I honestly don't remember), I mean if someone doesn't know then they're incredibly stupid considering I spend most of my time higher than a kite.

My hair is brown, in the sunlight it normally looks lighter but for the most part it's a darker shade of brown, and it's so curly as well. Although most of the time it's all dirty and messy because after a hard night out doing some Angel dust and probably falling asleep on the ground or something. But that's mostly my fault, when I get home I try my best to clean it up and keep it pretty clean and somewhat presentable but honestly it's just hair, what can you honestly ask of me to do when it comes to hair? I've never really understood why everyone is always worrying about their hair and always adding harsh chemicals that looks good at the time but makes it look really ugly a few years later. Seems stupid right?

My eyes are a light blue colour, never focused and never really present, but that's probably because I'll either be tired from being out or being high on Angel Dust, it's usually one of those two. Honestly sometimes I just spend the day sleeping and don't bother paying attention to anything else, sometimes I might sleep all day because I'm so freaking tired. My teeth are turning yellow, slowly but surely because my teeth are bathed in smoke so much, it's just a consequence that I can live with. Is it worth it? For now I don't know but I'm not looking at this from a long-term perspective, I'm looking at this from a short-term perspective and right now I have so much fun.

Although I will admit the Angel Dust isn't exactly as healthy as fruit it's still fun, the rush I get is worth it. I feel invincible when I take it, I feel like no one can even touch me when I take it and I feel so happy usually when I take it. Although the hallucinations aren't always present, sometimes I think I'm seeing corpses or fire-breathing dragons trying to incinerate me but I usually get over it. Everything feels so twisted and warped, as if backwards is forwards and forwards is backwards. I can visit alternate universes and parallel worlds when I take it. What other explanation is there? I must be leaving reality and floating off to a warped, parallel universe where I'm the strongest guy there, I am THE guy.

People usually just laugh at me if I ever mention alternate worlds or warped universes.

Well you know what? They can go fuck themselves, and their mothers can go fuck themselves, no their whole family tree can go fuck themselves because they are nothing but non-believers. I am not crazy and I am not a liar. I've seen it, I got stabbed in the hand one day while I was higher than a kite and I didn';t feel a thing, the scar is still there, I woke up the next morning and it started hurting so badly I wanted to cry because that was the worst injury I ever got. I don't even remember how that even happened. I don't think I want to know how it happened because I know I will either be very surprised, very scared or just laugh it off.

Nothing about me is normal, not even my family -at least the family I remember I have- they are very weird in my eyes and in the whole of District three's eyes. My little brother Kinsey is weird in both appearance and mind, he has some sort of condition which makes his hair white, literally white, as if his hair aged quicker than the rest of his body. His eyes are sort of red (or was it pink) and his skin is paler than the clouds. When I was high I mistook him for a snowman one day. He's always talking about some kind of monsters that are out to get him and one day when I walked in his room I saw his drawings, I guess they were quite good for the most part but they were filled with well... disturbing images. Well what do you know, I'm not the only fucked up guy in the family. I guess that makes me actually like him a bit more, maybe being fucked up just runs in the family.

I also have a sister called Luci who thinks she's some sort of queen or whatever. Some kind of elegant queen who can't be knocked off her throne and I swear when the Angel Dust takes me to warped universes she's sitting on a throne with a golden crown on her head telling me what to do. I'm fucking older than her, how does that work?

Lucrezia is well ... well she's a special kind of messed up. She's a doll, and not the cute and cuddley kind; the weird creepy ones that sit on someone's shelf and you don't know why the fuck someone would ever own that. That's the best way I care to describe her. She rarely ever speaks, if at all like a doll, or maybe I just never hear her voice cos I'd be high when she talks to me she's so creepy like a doll, her face pretty much never changes facial expression like a doll. I've noticed those things from when I'm not drugged up and high. One time when I was high I actually mistook her for a life - sized doll. Despite her being my sister we never really see each other and honestly I bet she's adopted she's just nothing like me. We don't really talk much because I'm mostly in my room or out getting higher than a sky scraper and I don't know were the hell she hangs out, probably on a shelf or something.

And then there's me, gambler, failure in school, drug taker, explorer of alternate universes. That's what I see my self as doing when I take the Angel Dust, it takes me to alternate universes where I'm the biggest, the best, the strongest and it's so fun. Or it takes me to a place where corpses litter the streets, I'm small, scared and weak. I usually prefer the first one. People say I should stop getting high and bring myself back to reality but don't they realize? Reality is a fucking bore. People say that the drugs are killing me but they aren't, if they are killing me why am I still alive? What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Anyway it's not like I'm the only one slowly dying, everyone else slowly dies, time slowly kills people. It just gets some people quicker than others. There's about ninety percent of everyone's argument skewered so hah.

I guess you could say I'm quite selfish in a way to be completely honest. I don't really care about others that much, well other than my family to a certain extent. I just like doing what I perceive as fun. Life's too short to waste if time is slowly killing everyone. I mean just look, four tragedies that have happened to our family, people in our family just die so easily and it could be any one of us, it could even be me who dies next. So I should enjoy my life while I still have it because I could easily be next. Anything that's fun I'll do it because, well, YOLO.

There are four of us us: me, Luci, Lucrezia, Kinsey. And I guess we were all a little weird in our own way when we grew up, a wealthy household, a big house and a big family. I was never good in school and I never will be, that's simply how it is and I never do pay attention to Luci and Kinsey's grades. I never did see the point in school and I never will see the point in school. I always have and always will spend most of my time in school not paying attention in class, even before I discovered Angel Dust I never was listening in school because it was so damn boring.Who even needs all this numbers bullshit? I bet most kids forget about it anyway when they do leave school.

I was always a daredevil, doing things for dares or even just because I can. And if anyone asked why? "Why not?" I've been doing Angel Dust for about a year now because I first discovered it when I was fifteen. One of my friends suggested I try it, it looked fun so why not? And fun it was, I spent the whole night in an alternate universe, seeing false realities and simply having a good time like I was supposed to. For that night there was no annoying stares, no sympathetic looks because of my last name. I became an adventurer. And now I go on 'adventures' at least every week.

But there is a price to all this adventuring. One day I realized I had no money, and to get the drugs what do I need? Money! I started experiencing these horrible things called 'withdrawal symptoms'. That's the only time I had them and I felt like I was going to collapse to the floor and die, I wanted to die because it was so horrible. I eventually had to attack someone for the money in order to stop the symptoms, I saw some old man walking down the road by himself, no one was there so I went up to him and punched him in the face, I quickly ripped his wallet from his pocket and ran away. I got my drugs again but I knew I wouldn't be able to pull that off again and again.

So now I know how to gamble.

I learned how to play nearly all the different card games that you can win money in, it wasn't too hard to learn, I had to practice a lot to become good at it but eventually I did and now look at me. A lot of it is luck but there are tactics involved. And then I use the money to buy my drugs from the drug dealer. It's a scary and vicious cycle but it works. I usually go to this underground betting place where people play cards for money, different card games are played and I take whatever money I get and go to the dealer and then I just buy, buy, buy. And after I've bought I smoke some of it that night and hide some of it somewhere, not necessarily in my room. People may think I'm dumb but I'm not, if I hid it in my room then it's obvious that the drugs are mine, but if I hide it in the living room then the drugs could be anyone's.

But I do know that a few people know what I do, I open windows to try and keep the smell from getting too overwhelming but let's be honest, people must have gotten a whiff of it when they walk past my room, they may not know what it is but they must know.

Oh well.

At least I'm courteous enough to at least try to hide it right?

Anyway call me what you like: washout, failure, lazy, druggie, mess. Call me it behind my back or to my face. I probably won't give a fuck anyway.