holland antoinette -district two- FIN~

nyte Head RP Tutor 4,636 POSTS Pronouns: he/him last seen Sept 22, 2024 20:28:43 GMT -5 oof	holland antoinette -district two- FIN~ Mar 2, 2014 4:03:00 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nyte on Mar 2, 2014 4:03:00 GMT -5 SUMTIMES IM A MAMA AND SUMTIMES IM A MILF dun fuck with mah kids k? ~~where is the vode? odair it is~~
	Last Edit: Mar 3, 2014 1:04:16 GMT -5 by nyte the m o o n controls the t i d e, it could cause you to d r o w n

nyte
Head RP Tutor

4,636 POSTS

Pronouns: he/him
last seen Sept 22, 2024 20:28:43 GMT -5

oof

holland antoinette -district two- FIN~ Mar 2, 2014 5:01:13 GMT -5

Post by nyte on Mar 2, 2014 5:01:13 GMT -5

As a child I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. To caress a small, pink infant within grown arms. To hear their sweet coos and to respond in my own, sweetly mocking tone. As a child I would create small bundles out of old shirts and tattered blankets, dancing around the house in a jubilant manner, singing sweet songs to the baby within my arms. I cared not for the life of a teen. That of careless actions and mistakes. I always wanted to just grow up. In turn, my childhood was nothing less than excruciating. Their crude jokes and childish humor were always lost on me. I simply did not understand the joys of innocence. and the weight which it seems to carry. So many women spend their lives chasing a youth they lost many years prior . Yet I embrace my age with the giddiness of a child on their twelfth birthday.

My hair has begun to gray with age. Bright strands contrasting merrily against a dark brown. Of course I would never let my hair turn completely gray ~~such an unattractive color, coordinating my wardrobe would become nothing less than hell~~ though I do enjoy the stark strands which occasionally make an appearance. As with age comes knowledge, and with knowledge comes respect. My cheekbones are half-apples upon my profile, always powdered the perfect shade of pink. ~~I believe the color I have used for little over a week now is titled just that.~~ My lips are shaped like that of a bow, my mouth opening to reveal perfect rows of arrow heads bleached a dying alabaster. Small wrinkles have snaked their way to the corner of my eyes, bearing their fangs when I smile. The pale cream constantly upon my face does little to hide them. And so my smiles are never wide, as I feel that ages me beyond the thirty-seven years I deserve.

My past is not free from mistakes, though some I would never share with my children for fear history will repeat itself.I was young, stupid, and desperate to grow up. I married a man which I loved with all my heart. And who I was sure I would love forever. Alas, I was nineteen, and the few blissful years I spent with that man were far too few. The bastard died, leaving me to raise our children alone. As angry as I wish to be with him, I couldn't bring myself to hate the man for something that nature surely intended. But I still visit him. Every day fresh flowers are lay upon his grave, adding to stack of wilting flowers that already lay dormant. I love you. The words must leave my lips, ever day when I visit the poor man. Just so he knows I'll never forget. That I'll always love him.

And after so long facing his death on my own, of raising our children and seeing his face hidden within all of them, I was saved. A man with impeccable charm and stunning grace. His wife had died prior, buried in the same place where my husband lay in death's permanent embrace. He bore the name Descartes and with him came children such as my own. The guilt of moving past who was supposed to be my only love was lost within desperate attempts to see the man which attracted me like moth to flame. Always a clever woman I politely asked him to look after my finances, being so busy with four children. I began to see him more often, our meetings growing in intensity. Love blossomed between us, two broken hearts once again whole. And I was no longer alone.

Yet not even he can come between me and my children. They are my life, my dream come true. The thought of loosing them causes my stomach to churn, a deep, dark pit jumping and rattling, digging sharp claws into my gut. Fear. My sister's child, sent off to war with twenty-three others. She had survived, but can the same be guaranteed for my own? Can I know that my children won't be dead the moment their name is pulled from the fragile glass. if the time ever comes I shall tell them a mother knows when her child is going to die and I know they will come home. perhaps that makes me a liar, as the words are empty. but comforting words are all a mother has when faced with such atrocities.

I expect a lot from them. Perhaps too much. Though having come into money at a young age, we have never gone without. Necessities become luxuries in such a life. And luxuries are things to be earned. Disrespect me and you may go without dinner. After all, a mother's word is final. A mother is to be respected. Elegance is expected, kindness is optional. I pride myself upon my stature, a noble heiress from a respected family. I don't find my expectations to be too extreme, after all what is life without mistakes. Life is something to be cherished, to be enjoyed.

Silly games are to be played with the family. A bright smile to light my face and sharp words to leave my tongue. Not meant to cut, but to tease, as it is a curse to take things too seriously. They can come to me for anything , at least I hope they can. I've tried so hard to welcome them with open arms, to be their friend and their mother. ~~And had hoped to achieve a balance.~~

I pull the navy blue around my waist, tying the belt tightly against a thin figure. ~~How proud I am, you would never guess that I am a mother of four.~~ The party is tonight, a party only I am invited to. ~~After all, what am I but a humble housewife.~~ A silver cone snakes its way through dark locks. The water which hands upon its spines slicked back my hair in a careful wave. I placed gold earring gently through small holes caused so long ago by a thin needle. A spare hand runs through the hair, barely long enough to cover my scalp.

Of course I won't get drunk, or take pills. I have no time for such childish nonsense. ~~At least that's what i'll tell my children and anyone else who asks. after all image is everything.~~

As a child, all I ever wanted to be was a mother.

Holland Antoinette
district two female thirty-seven

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and everything you do And they were all yellow

Last Edit: Mar 3, 2014 1:03:49 GMT -5 by nyte

the m o o n controls the t i d e, it could cause you to d r o w n

nyte Head RP Tutor 4,636 POSTS Pronouns: he/him last seen Sept 22, 2024 20:28:43 GMT -5 oof	holland antoinette -district two- FIN~ Mar 3, 2014 1:04:26 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nyte on Mar 3, 2014 1:04:26 GMT -5 done~
	the m o o n controls the t i d e, it could cause you to d r o w n

Baby Wessex d9 [earthling] Administrator 9,572 POSTS Pronouns: She/Her last seen Sept 22, 2024 22:48:24 GMT -5 cameron stood in line for an hour for a stupid ride for me <3 best <3	holland antoinette -district two- FIN~ Mar 3, 2014 1:22:51 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Baby Wessex d9 [earthling] on Mar 3, 2014 1:22:51 GMT -5 Mama bear <3 ACCEPTED!
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