domino fer ↔ district three ↔ finished

domino fer ↔ district three ↔ finished Mar 27, 2014 16:58:10 GMT -5

Post by Hael [prev. reasons] on Mar 27, 2014 16:58:10 GMT -5

Oh, we have stained these walls
With our mistakes and flaws

But even if we won't admit it to ourselves
We'll walk upon these streets and think of little else

Even though I am dressed in jean shorts and a black tank, the night air doesn't bother me. It's not cold enough to give one chills, it's a refreshing in comparison to the heat. My butt is pressed against the hard side walk. If I was on my toes, I would in a squatting position, but I much prefer the hard side walk to the burning pain in my legs that would come along with squatting for large amounts of time.

"I'm bored," one of my few acquaintances states. None of these people have friends, me included. We only entertain each other, commitment and having to be tolerable comes along with friendship. Nobody who is in this "group" is inclined to friendship. "Friendship" is for kids. We hardly bother to learn each other's names.

I ignore the person waiting for a reply and take a drag. "We could crash a party," someone suggests.
"We did that last weekend." It's true, we did. It's fun to crash events even if it's formal, which isn't our scene. I stand up and start to walk along the street. I'm not going home; I never do that until late at night. I despise home, I often find myself away from there.

I tread these streets, never once doubting where I am or my sense of direction. I have these streets memorized due to my daily walks. I drop my cigarette and squish it beneath my boots. Leaving the whispers behind is often my joy and duty. They know I'm a fuckin Fer. I never told them but I could never deny it and have them believe it. They like me less than I am annoyed with them, which is a lot. They think my presence brings bad luck - like most people do - but so far they are neither right nor wrong. They tolerate me more than anyone else does though, which must count for something.
In the glass windows of the shops and houses I pass, I can see my reflection. My stare is not kind; it’s more intimating and lethal than that. I have a body to match. My falls in straight brown sheets, the edges almost reaching my pointy hip bones. Above my blue eyes hang my dark, arched brows. They are pointed and sharp; I guess it all fits in with my personality. My nose sticks out of my face and draws more attention to it than I want it too. My lips are well defined, not exactly full but not thin either.
I am skinny and tall, all because of that painful growth spurt back when I was twelve and the fact that I don’t like to eat. I wish I did though, having no curves and your skin sticking to your rib cage isn’t as fun as it seems.
I turn my thoughts and eyes away from my harsh appearance and let my mind trail elsewhere.
I never had a friend in my life; I just used mere people to entertain me. When I was a little child, I used to observe people closely. I learned from their mistakes and triumphs. I learned what to do and what not to do, what I wanted to be like, who I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be someone who depended on people for love, food and everything in between. I was going to be independent. I was to mask my emotions and not get hurt or fall in love. That would risk to much and end in screams and used cigarettes. Two missions accomplished.
I made one error, though. I wanted to be queen, I wanted to rule. And that hasn’t changed. The one problem is this; to be queen, you need to lead and to lead, and you need to have followers. But the biggest problem is this; I am a Fer. I never wanted to be, but Ripred just decided to make my life miserable by making me a Fer.
I want to be queen; I want to rule, to hold power in my hands.
I will rule.
---
I am now tangled in my ivory bed sheets, attempting to fall asleep. Maybe if I enter the dream world I shall live in a world better than my own, for a short amount of time. But for now, I lie awake, drowning in my thoughts.
---
The world is my stage, I own the ground beneath. But you can't be yourself without the world criticizing you. That is the fate of a queen and as long as I am queen, that doesn't matter. No matter what hellhole I live in, I rule it. Everyone think otherwise. They think what the want but I am supreme to all. I even govern the darkness the envelopes me. You only control your imagination. This "imagination" is my own for and one day that won't be the only thing I govern.

I wish I wasn't killing myself with lies.

What would it be like to be someone other than a Fer?
I'll never be able to answer that question even though I wish I could. Sometimes I'm not a Fer, but you can't ignore it. It runs through you, in your bones, your veins, the tips of your fingers. We could cause havoc any second, not because we want to - although many of us do - but because that's just we do. We're Fers, after all.

------
odair

table by anzie

3 | 17 | female | irina stroganova
domino aphra fer