[If you're lonely] [Meghan]

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kousei ♚
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last seen May 7, 2022 17:23:18 GMT -5

now and forever

[If you're lonely] [Meghan] Mar 29, 2014 13:59:19 GMT -5

Post by kousei ♚ on Mar 29, 2014 13:59:19 GMT -5

Lloyd Bison~~-McKenzie~~

Firstly, I think it is totally unfair that I got detention for falling asleep in class. To be completely honest I'm surprised I'm the only one who fell asleep to be completely honest; class is just so fucking boring. The teacher was going on and on about the same thing she goes on about every fucking lesson. Going on and on about the rebellion, the dark days, how the Capitol was superior and all that kind of crap. Every single damn lesson she goes on and on about that. If I could I'd skip out on school completely and sleep at home, better use of my time than this.

It's not my fault I fell asleep; after all I hear that story repeatedly , I've known it since I was like five years old and honestly doing things repeatedly does get really boring that it's hard do not fall into a blissful haze for ripred knows how long. And that's why I'm here now, sitting in my uncomfortable chair with my head down on the cool desk. The room is a prison, refusing to let me out, the window that sits proudly next to me tortures me because it paints that unrealistic image of freedom in my mind even though I know deep down I won't be free of this place for a while.

And all because a boring story just happened to knock me out.

I don't pay attention to the other people that surround me because I know they are insignificant to me. These are the real trouble makers, and despite the fact I am lazy, bored, inattentive and rude at times I am not a trouble maker. I don't intentionally try to piss off teachers, I don't intentionally break the rules for the thrill of it like it's some sort of addictive drug, I'm better than the kids that surround me. Despite some people considering me 'good for nothing' or some people looking at me and thinking I won't get anywhere in life I honestly do consider myself better than the other kids that surround me. Despite what meets the eye, I actually do have standards for the way I behave ~~most of the time.~~

I just want to be free of this detention, this mini-prison where I'm isolated with a bunch of naughty trouble makers. I didn't even do anything fucking wrong! I'm groaning internally with my head resting against the table and just staring wishfully and blankly at the window, at least the coldness of the table keep me at least semi-distracted. Just relax, breathe in and out, it will be all over soon. Usually I'm a fan of doing nothing and relaxing but this is not relaxing, how can my mind possibly relax when I'm in school an hour after it ended?

I could be doing so many different things right now, like sleeping at home, relaxing at home, maybe helping out Velvet with her problem but no, I'm sitting here, face down on a desk staring outside a window wishing to finally be let ou- "Okay, your hour's up, now get out! The teachers commands and I jump up a little but too enthusiastically and grab my brown bag by it's strap and fling it over my shoulders. Finally! Relief floods through my body as I thrust my hands in my pockets and I take the long awaited for steps of freedom towards the door.

I take a few slow steps out of the building I call a school but then something catches my eye, I see something in my peripheral vision. A girl, who I've never seen before but she looks around my age which is strange because I think I would know her if she's around my age. And then the idea hits me that maybe I should actually go and talk to her. I don't even know if she was in my detention or not because I paid no attention to the people around me and just stared blankly at the window like a bored prisoner. I bite my lip slightly to stop myself from looking like a nervous guy and begin taking steps towards her, hoping the sound of my footsteps don't make me come off as a nervous person.

Don't be so stupid.

Footsteps can't make someone seem nervous; Stupid Lloyd.

When I'm sure I have her attention I speak. "Er, hi, I don't think I've ever seen you around school before, are you new?" I ask, pausing slightly in order to give her the chance to respond. "What's your name?"

Meghan
Capitol Resident

1,217 POSTS

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last seen Nov 26, 2023 2:53:00 GMT -5

[If you're lonely] [Meghan] Mar 30, 2014 12:59:07 GMT -5

Post by Meghan on Mar 30, 2014 12:59:07 GMT -5

I yelled in class today. My voice echoed across the room in a panicked daze as I imagined all of the horrible things that my future could hold. They liked to remind us of our fate, didn't they? If we were unlucky, we would be doomed to go into the games to be killed just like all of the other district fives before us.

It had been eight years since somebody had made it home alive. Lethe Turner. A girl who had only been a year older than me when she murdered the boy from District Two and came home to us.

Nobody had managed it since. Shadow and Cassie, who bathed in their youth and hope when they had left, came back in pieces, tongues missing and souls gone.

They wanted it to happen to me too. No, I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. If I was reaped in the next games I surely could only step down. I wouldn't be able to face my fate. Somebody would volunteer for me. They would have to, I wouldn't be willing to die for some cause I didn't believe in.

So, I yelled. Loud and frantic as our teacher droned on about the honor our death would bring. It was the retribution our parents deserved for their rebellion. They were unwilling to support the Capitol that so "lovingly" fed them and provided for all of their needs. They didn't want to sacrifice for the greater good. So this was their punishment: our deaths.

It was a blind panic, really. I forgot that my actions had consequences as I verbally expressed my dislike for becoming a show-dog. It didn't take many of my idiotic words to spill like lava from my mouth to seal my fate. "Detention, Belrose!"

Now, as I finally emerged from the florescent prison, I let the tears that had been scraping the edges of my eyes finally escape. Forward I shuffled across the pavement, trying to avoid all human contact.

"Er, hi, I don't think I've ever seen you around school before, are you new?" A boy interrupted my thoughts with a quiet voice. I wanted to ignore him, to pretend that I hadn't heard him but he stopped in front of me, speaking again. "What's your name?"

I inhale sharply and look up at him meekly, trying to ignore the hot liquid that still stained my cheeks. "Um. I'm Maedra." My voice is nearly silent. Can he hear me? I repeat myself just to make sure. "Maedra. And you are... Llyod Bison, aren't you?"

Of course I knew him. I had spent my last period defending his brother. Shouting his name to the teacher. "Remember Shadow? It wasn't an honor for him to die..." I was too opinionated for my own good. I needed to be more passive. Like this guy, who had slept through the entire lesson.

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, it's bringing me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear

Words: 479

Last Edit: Mar 30, 2014 12:59:43 GMT -5 by Meghan

kousei ♚
Mentor

2,011 POSTS
Pronouns: He/Him/His
last seen May 7, 2022 17:23:18 GMT -5

now and forever

[If you're lonely] [Meghan] Apr 2, 2014 12:40:47 GMT -5

Post by kousei ♚ on Apr 2, 2014 12:40:47 GMT -5

Lloyd Bison~~-McKenzie~~

Arrhythmia
Accepting that you live with uncertainty
If you're lonely press play
Di lady Di
The aspects that you pass on while travelling
When you're lonely press play

Getting the words out of my mouth was much easier than I originally thought. It's literally just talking to any other person. I was never really a social person and I don't think I will be. I don't even socialise with my family at home that much either, I mostly keep myself to myself. Honestly, socialising is effort, you have to act a certain way, say certain things, like you're some sort of wooden puppet controlled by various strings. Well my joints aren't hooked with strings! I have free-will, if I don't want to socialise why should I socialise? Just because everyone else does it doesn't mean I have to, I'd much rather be sleeping or relaxing; it's so much less effort.

I guess that's why I thought talking to her would be difficult but getting the words out of my mouth weren't hard at all. I don't know if she's answering my question or saying something to herself but whatever she says is completely and utterly inaudible. However, before I can ask her to repeat herself she says something even louder but still quite quiet in my opinion. She doesn't seem to be the confident type. "Maedra. And you are... Llyod Bison, aren't you?"

The way she knows me already already makes my muscles tense without my really willing them to. Everyone seems to know me these days. Ever since the sixty-fifth and Shadow was sent to die everyone in District five seems to know that name, that word at the end of my name. Bison. I'm not even McKenzie any more, honestly I couldn't care less -I don't really like that name, McKenzie- but still, sometimes I feel like the only reason know the word Lloyd is because everyone knows the name Bison. But the fact that she knows me must mean that she isn't knew and I was just wrong and being stupid.

Honestly, I think it's weird I've never seemed to notice her, but then again I'm not exactly the most observant guy in the box. I wonder what she got detention for, was it for something completely outrageous like arguing with a teacher or something petty and low-key like sleeping in a lesson? (I don't see how that warrants a detention, they just need to make their lessons more interesting.) Still, she has asked me a question even though she probably does know the answer to it. "Yes, I am Lloyd Bison-McKenzie." I answer, allowing a small, barely noticeable grin to take over my features.

Everyone remembers Bison, but not McKenzie. Yep, thanks for that Shadow.

I could have walked away after learning who she was and why I had never seen her before. But still, my curiosity is eating up at me and I feel I must ask. I don't even know why I want to know. "So, Maedra, why were you held back in detention today?" I ask. Like I said, I'm not exactly the most social person in the world so really getting many questions from me is a rare thing. But this feels like a rare occasion.