IT IS CLOVER'S - HOW DO YOU SAY - BIRTHDAY

YEAH YOU HAVE A THREAD ALREADY BUT I HAD TO MAKE ONE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

I MUST

ALSO I CAN’T THINK OF CUTE WITTY TITLES OKAY

Dear Madeline, Clover, Eerily, Emmie, Em, Whisper can’t remember where this came from but it was a thing, Lilly, Meredith, Quollom and any other names I forgot other than bitch HAHAHAHAH,

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY!

K BYE.

okay okay okay um I just want to let you know that I hope to make this post as interesting and unboring as possible but I talk a lot so don’t have your hopes too high. Before I get into anything too major I just wanted to say I’m sorry for missing out on posting a birthday thread for you last year but like it was bad timing for us yes yes okay and like, I said to you:

‘Omg for yur birthday I will honestly write you a 2000 word post because I love you’

Well that’s not the accurate wording but I definitely said something along those lines

Or at least said it in my mind

anyway

I never did write a birthday post for you.

Okay yeah shit-house friend but we all know that

And besides, the only reason I said that I would write you that much was because nobody made you a thread in 2012 because

You had your site profile on invisible and nobody was facebook/real life friends with you yet so they didn’t know it was your birthday

And then by the time I realised

Well it was too late to make you a thread

And I offered to make you a thread and you were like

‘no don’t make a thread that is lame/sad/something like that’

Even though you made me a thread (you are beautiful aw)

Anyway I felt like the only way I could make up for missing two years was by writing a 4000 word post for this year.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

Also there may or may not be a video for you at the end, idk I haven’t decided yet if I have the energy to do that. After seeing you jump around and lip sync to songs in the one you made for me, I honestly don’t think I could muster up that much energy.

Along with many, many words there will be capslocking, fullstops, and beautiful pictures of you. Like this one:

And I know you hate reading our past skype messages and facebook messages, but I literally went through them and re-picked up on a million of our inside jokes and it just made me feel very nostalgic and very emotional and like I’m sure I’m rambling already but I swear if you don’t read every single word of this you will make me cry.

And if you don’t cry at least once within this rambling jumble I will cry even more.

Though it’s okay if you don’t show any emotion whatsoever because it tends to be a trend within our friendship so

Okay where to start. I honestly have no clue where I could possibly start. I can still remember that time I first joined and I went into cbox with no idea whatsoever and you and Brik were talking to me. At the time I was probably thinking something like ‘oh wow clover is so smart and intelligent and so nice’ and now I’m like… HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH CUTE.

Ugh see like I’m only 500 words in and this is already ridiculously weird and nonsensical.

Anyway, I had absolutely no idea at that point in time that you would eventually become my very best friend, the person I could tell everything and anything to, the person who never let me down even when I couldn’t help but convince myself otherwise at times, the person who put up with me for all this time, the person who I loved talking to more than anyone else I’ve ever known. The person who I would gladly stay up with until ridiculous hours of the morning having deranged skype conversations where we would full stop each other one minute then yell at each other the next, pretending it was a sleepover or something like that. You were the person who never, ever abandoned me even at my most difficult times, and for that, I will never be able to repay you.

I have known you for almost 27 months (maybe more, maybe less, idk I have bad maths) and it is just ridiculous that I’ve put up with you you’ve put up with me for so long. When we weren’t as close back in the olden days when we were godawful noobs (do I even have to go into the details of that JFF fight? Nope, didn’t think so) we would use tinychat to speak, because exchanging information like Skypes and facebooks and phone numbers was really scary for a 15-and-13 year old. And even though we don’t tinychat anymore, the link is still saved in my bookmarked links on my computer. Apparently you have it saved as well because you love letting other people use it for tinychats. But it’s nice to remember where it all really started. Unfortunately I can’t access those conversations – only God knows what kinds of things we spoke about when we were stupid and barely knew each other.

But of course I can’t skip past tc without forgetting to mention ‘The Screenshot Story.’ I found it on my hard drive so here it is (I remember you were like ‘omg post it on the site’ and I never did but lolololololololol here it is hurrah):

Okay so once there was 1 sexy beast named Sam, 1 amazingly hot chick named Clover, and some other random named Cait. Anyway, Cait had said that she had a dream about Sam, and because clover is an idiot she made it seem like it was a sexual dream, so Sam kept changing his name on TC to irrelevant things. Then some genius named Clover came up with Saiten, so ship that b*****s. Clover was trying to get her camera angle right so Sam started showing off his modelling skills and did an amazing duck face. At this time his screen name is hannahcavernousvagina idek.

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Anyway the conversation kept going on and it was actually really awkward but Sam had changed his name to Sam which was pretty decent, then all of a sudden all 3 of us started laughing so much and Clover was legit rofling and was laughing so much that she had to get her pillow and laugh into it, which made us laugh even more. Then she got up to walk somewhere and her mic was still on so it sounded like an elephant. And when she came back Sam was paying Clover out and Cait said she was scared of elephants. In the meantime clover was telling us there was a blanket in her mouth for some reason, idek. And with that, Clanket was formed. Ship it. Ship it hard.

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After we had gotten over the blanket eating and rofling a random guy named Jo joined the convo and we had no idea who he was, but he was really creepy and we were all scared of him. I think he was trying to hit on Sam. So then because Jo was making it more awkward then Sam usually makes it we started talking about unicorns then Clover went and got a picture of Louis Tomlinson which made Sam super excited and caused him to stare at it for a while. Then Clover took the photo away and her face is all pixelly. And I seem to have the same facial expression in every photo.

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Okay so after that Clover held up a poster of Lucy Hale and like she’s pretty ugly so we didn’t care, and then Jo kept randomly coming back to our convo which was kinda stupid so then Sam logged on to his TC and blocked Jo yay. But he didn’t realise that because he was logged on facebook at the same time it had posted a link to the TC, so there were all these randoms but they left. Then clover was talking about some shit idek and then she said Sam wasn’t hot so then Sam got really offended and started giving her the finger and I’m just chilling like a loner yay. And in the meantime Clover was trying to reject a guy that asked her out on facebook </3.

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After Sam had calmed down he logged into the TC as “notjo” and clover and I thought it was Jo again but it was Sam so we were kinda dumb but I’m blonde so I have an excuse and anyway Clover was still trying to work out how to reject the guy on facebook and Sam and I were being very unhelpful. Then we somehow got back onto talking about unicorns and then just because I can I told them that I found out my grandad watches porn and Sam spazzed and turned into a cross between a troll and an ogre but it’s okay because I screen shotted it yay.

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Okay so after they got over the fact that my grandad likes porn I’m not too sure what happened but I had to keep leaving a few times and one time I had to leave because my grandad wanted me and according to Sam apparently that meant that my grandad needed help with finding porn ugh so much wrong with that sentence. Anyway then Sam was going to strip for me but he didn’t thank god but he kept like pulling at his shirt and then he lifted his shirt up and Clover started eating her blanket and her pillow again because Sam showed us his nipple it was kind of gross but funny and I called Sam a sick disgusting creep but everyone calls him that so eh.

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And then things got serious wow thats a first and then we were all depressed but because we have each other we were happy yay cause we love each other and then Sam had to leave and me and Clover were all sad. Then after that clover was like bawling her eyes out because she was so upset Sam had left. But it was alright in the end because he called us babes and Clover was happy and Clover told me to make a pointless story from all the screenshots I’d taken so I did and we all lived happily ever after except for me cause apparently I’m a sociopath idek kbye.

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And then we progressed onto skype and we ended up having such a deep and meaningful conversation the first time we ever spoke on skype and it was the first time I’ve kind of connected with someone on such a deep level. You were like the first friend on skype that I didn’t know in real life so like, wow, exciting, let’s talk to you all the time every day for the next 6 months. What a great plan!

And omg I was reading and apparently I used to make a big deal out of saying ‘if you don’t hear from me within a week then I’m dead’ because you never know when you’re going to die. And like, no facebook, man. You wouldn’t have even known I was dead. That would have been pretty tragic because I would have been dead and you would have been sending messages to me.

Oh wait we did that anyway

Well not really I mean

We just assumed the other was dead

Because YOU WEREN’T THAT GREAT AT REPLYING and I wasn’t too good either but then we’d threaten each other with the police and it would all be good again yay.

And then I remember that we gave each other our numbers and like, I mean we hardly used them because so expensive. And I don’t have a phone anymore anyway so I mean it’s kinda pointless but whenever you would post in the leaving thread like for a camp or a weekend away you’d always be like ‘Oh and if anyone needs me, Cait and Cass and Zoe have my numbers’ and like yeah we were weird.

Hahahahhaha assuming people wanted to talk to us, good fun.

And I mean I would talk about us adding each other on facebook but like

I can’t remember how that happened

And I mean it wouldn’t have been that interesting like

‘A friend request!’ *accepted* yay.

Like that doesn’t even deserve a sentence.

It would be more interesting to talk about how I would block you if I got annoyed at you. Or how I liked all of your posts from when you were eleven. Or how we weren’t friends on Facebook for a while there and we still aren’t entirely sure how that happened nor who unfriended the other.

I remember back when we would take our arguing to the cbox, back when I wasn’t terrified to go in and talk in there (probably because I was stupid and idiotic and didn’t think twice before saying anything goddammit 15 year-old me) and people would just be like

‘omfg you guys are like an old married couple.’

We basically are. We fight (out of love of course), we talk all the time, and we love each other. You help me cook food and I help you … do other things that old people do. Sleep? idk. I yell at you to sleep a lot of the time so that works.

I guess I should also mention all the times you’ve helped me feel good again, and just made jokes out of horrid situations. Like that time I got called a sociopath and then you were all to the person who made that comment ‘that was really insensitive of you.’ Like you probably don’t even remember that but it was one of the first times someone had stuck up for me like that. And we would Skype and eventually we reached the conclusion that I have no facial expressions, and that you are actually an old pedo man.

But you aren’t.

Right, and then, I need to include all the failed attempts we’ve had at actually meeting each other in real life. Because the first time was the relay for life and I was legit so excited that you were going to come and see me and walk around a field with me for the entire night and then go shopping with me the next day yay.

And you showed me that photo cartoon thing of the two people talking online then meeting in real life and how it looked mega awkward so then I freaked out. But then we established it’s okay because there was awkward sexual gender tension and that makes no sense when you read that sentence but idc.

But then.

NOPE.

Nope that didn’t happen we didn’t meet you silly girl

dis iz how u make mi feel wen we dunt meet

On top of that, I’m also willing to forget the fact that despite the number of times we have said it will happen, we still have not threaded at all.

Well I coded a post for you that one time, back when colour coded posts were cool

And there was that one time you had that MODELLING THINGY????? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT????? OMG I JUST REMEMBERED IT

AND YOU SAID

well I can’t remember what you said but there was something about a modelling thing there, which isn’t surprising in all honesty bc you are stunning ugh how can a 15 year old be prettier than everyone else I know like how

Then there was that time you made me watch mean girls because I had never seen it before. Or the time we were deadly serious about making Kyffin a thing, or how you would always ask for help with finding colours or making up character names, and I would help you but we both knew I sucked so much at it. I used to spam you all the time if you weren’t replying, and I still do because it’s one of the ways that you know I love you and miss you. Or you would make a ‘k’ pyramid and I’d say something stupid to break it and you’d get annoyed at me. I always tell you to ‘guess what?’ and then expect you to just guess something instead of saying what, and I remember how we never tried to bring up Sam because if we did, we knew the other person would be all ‘stop talking about sam YOU OBVIOUSLY LIKE HIM.’ I’ll never forget our best friends, jo and Clanket.

We would stay up until ridiculous hours of the morning just chatting about nothing in particular. You showed me the proper way to make pancakes, even if it did take me an hour to make them. You get my sense of humour and that is more than anyone has ever been able to understand, and we just seem to be on the same wavelength all of the time. We had the best classification system for the site, where you were either ridiculously attractive, ele, gay, crazy or an exceptional writer – yet I suppose we can say the whole site is gay now so oop. You need to know that it’s pronounced ‘Claws’ , or even ‘Clause’, but definitely not ‘Clouse’, and if there are fullstops, then it means serious business. Also knowing that no matter how many times I say ‘I hate you’, you always have to reply back with ‘love you too.’

Also this is kinda irrelevant and idk if you will even know what it means but I’ll chuck in these two words for fun anyway and hope you remember and if you don’t I’ll explain later.

Easter. Rabbit.

So this is where all the serious sappy shiz comes in, so don’t get too bored to death with it plz. This is a good place for another photo.

you would make a good actress on 16 and pregnant, look at how well you are handling that baby

Emmie, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I just want you to know that you are most definitely NOT an attention-seeking, bitchy, controlling, whiny, mean weirdo that is annoying. I don’t know why you would even think that, nor how you could even justify that, but at one point or another you have said those things to me, and it’s just not true. Em, you are the most precious person on the Earth, and I have never met someone who is as caring, enthusiastic, beautiful, and lovely as you.

I think we both care lots about what other people think of us, right? But in all the time I’ve known you, my opinion on you has never wavered and I have always thought of you as an excellent writer, a ridiculously intelligent girl and someone who is much more mature than her age suggests. And I just want you to know that even when you feel like everybody else hates you for some reason or another, I never, ever will. I will always be there for you to talk to, and endeavour to do everything and anything I can to make you feel better and help you believe that you are loved by so many people. I’m so grateful that you never posted in that leaving thread, because if you had have done that, I would have been so upset and would not be where I am today.

Also (and this might be the most important sentence in this rambling nothingness), no matter what shit we’ve gotten ourselves into, whether it be in the present or in the future, we will sort things out together, and I’m always going to be here for you no matter what. I promise that with my entire heart and swear on my mum’s life.

You are just the most beautiful friend. At times I just feel so mixed up and messed up, and all you have ever done for me is help me even when I deserve so much less than that. I’m so sorry for all the times I tried giving you good advice but most of the time it was just really bad advice and I’m so sorry. I mean I would like to think I give better advice these days, but you have always been a solid rock and a treasure chest of wisdom and advice, so ty. One of my favourite conversations to date was when we just went back and forwards talking about our own childhood memories – it was just so precious and made me sob the entire time. You have no idea how happy it made me that you felt you could talk to me about Jess, and it may not seem like a big deal anymore, but talking about something like that mustn’t have been easy, and I’m just so grateful.

Also if you hadn’t been there to help me with my fifteen year old love troubles I don’t know where I would be today

WAIT I JUST FOUND THIS TIME YOU SAID YOU LIVED IN THE LETTUCE CAPITAL OF AUSTRALIA

LETTUCE HAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

okay

And I mean, even when I’m being annoying and liking every single thing you have posted on Facebook from the beginning of time (and let’s be honest, there are a lot of things) it’s nice to know that at the end of it you’ll be pissed for a little bit but then we will just talk normally again and it’s just such a good thing to know.

And yeah I am sorry about that but let’s be real for a minute here

Who the hell let’s their child have facebook when they’re ELEVEN?

I don’t want to talk about the 61st Games and the falling outs and happenings that occurred thereafter too much, because this is meant to be a happy thread letting you know how wonderful you are. But I am truly so sorry for all the shit I put you through – it really was in no way fair to you at all and I look back on the torture that was not speaking properly to you for so long – much too long – and all I feel is sadness and stupidity, wishing I could have broken away from my harmful, preconceived thoughts at the time. I know I will never be able to make up for the hell that you endured because of me, and I am so sorry we ever fought.

Sometimes I feel like we will never be able to get back to the way things were, and it really crushes me. Even just looking back on these old conversations it makes me sad because we’ve both changed so much and matured from when we were being stupid and nooby, but had the most wonderful friendship. I’m sorry, because in all honesty, you deserve a friend that is 6301y8529251 times more amazing than me.

But I’m so glad you’ve stayed with me this long, and I’ll never be able to repay you.

You are one of the few people I will forever consider a friend and I am absolutely 100% grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for the past two years of friendship and memories and arguing and talking and everything in between. I hope there are many more years of exactly the same things to come.

Thank you for making every single moment unbelievably memorable, in every possible way. You’re the best person I’ve never met.

I leave you with these montages of your finest moments.

And one of my favourite tc pictures ever (but mostly just because it’s the only one I don’t look like a spaz in)

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And my personal favourite:

P.S. This is officially 4000 words. hate you <3