{dead} end street /// Roxen family + Cato
Apr 3, 2014 19:17:30 GMT -5
Post by Knuckles on Apr 3, 2014 19:17:30 GMT -5
Lulianna Roxen
You're in a better place I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I rejoice for you
But the reason why I'm broken
The reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
Homesick by mercy me
You're in a better place I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I rejoice for you
But the reason why I'm broken
The reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
Homesick by mercy me
Mizar,
I need you today. I need you with me. It's going to be a really long day. It's the day I've been dreading since you volunteered for the games. I don't want to go on anymore, and it's horrible, but I don't know what to expect. You left like a coward, but I know it was your last year, and you wanted to keep your promise to Muscinda, but you're no longer here. You kept that promise. You're free, and I need you here. I don't want you to be free. I miss you more than any words can say. Please, Mizar, walk by my side today. You're funeral is happening. You're going to be laid to rest, and maybe you can finally rest in peace. It won't have any peace for me- you don't know what's happening here. More and more children keep showing up stating they are siblings. Mom and dad are horrible. They keep begging us to train, and I don't want to train. I don't want the same fate as you. I- I miss you Mizar. Please help me. I need the strength to move forward. I can't live like this anymore. I can't be here. I can't get through this day. Help me not kill mom and dad. They don't understand, and they don't want us to mourn. I hate them, I hate the Capitol. I hate district seven. He betrayed you, Mizar. I watched it! How could you trust him! I-I don't know anymore. Please, please please help me. I need you. Help me get through this day.
Lulianna
Time doesn't move anymore- seconds became days, hours became weeks, days became months since Mizar volunteered for the games. It seems like it was only yesterday, but it wasn't. It's been several days. It's been horrible watching though. I jumped for joy when the bastard from seven died. He got what he deserved for betraying my sister, for severing her hand, for killing her. He got what he deserved, but it doesn't matter anymore because Mizar is dead, and she's never going to walk the earth again. I'll never hear her cocky attitude again. I'll never hear her broken heart as our parents yell at her telling her she's not good enough. That's the last thing Mizar ever heard from them. "You're a screw up Mizar! It's all your fault! You ruin everything! It'll always be your fault!" The words haunt me as I couldn't do anything to save her. I couldn't burst into the room as they were yelling, it would only end bad for me, and living with my parents, I didn't want them demeaning me.
I'll never wipe the tears away from her eyes as she cried over the death of her twin, Muscinda. They were always very close which is understandable as they were twins. I held Mizar for hours as she cried. I tried being strong for her, but it was impossible at times- we cried together many times. My parents had no idea what they did to her when they blamed everything on her, and they'll never understand. It irks me because they are celebrating she died; they are happy. It's like she was never their daughter, yet she was. She was an amazing person, and she'll always be an amazing person. Listening to my parents laugh at how much of a disgrace she is destroys me piece by piece. Mizar matters, I matter, Drae matters, Muscinda matters, nobody else does, at least, in this family. I miss her so much more than words can say, and today will be a horrible day as we prepare for the funeral. This is one of the hardest things any family should ever have to do, and today is one of those days.
I arrived at the cemetery early as I wanted the chance to say goodbye alone before everyone showed up. I walk slowly towards the casket holding her body as tears form in my eyes. Liquid fire surges through my veins as my feet stop in front of her. She looks so peaceful, but it doesn't mean anything because it's the last time I'll ever see her. "Mizar! You did this to yourself! You left me! You didn't even say goodbye! You volunteered for the damn games you fool! You didn't think about what it would do to me, to Drae, to the rest of the family. I know you may be walking with Muscinda wherever she is, but you left us! You weren't strong enough. You died too soon. He betrayed you. He destroyed you, and all you did was nothing. You didn't try to fight back. You were supposed to survive. You said you'd survive, but you didn't." A waterfall rolls from my face dropping onto the ground flooding the area around me. I miss you Mizar. I really miss you, and I need you.
Loud, violent howls fill the air around me as the shadows dance before my eyes. They taunt me, telling me I'm not good enough, and Mizar wasn't good enough. They laugh as they grow stronger, and I grow weaker. My hands grip the letter tightly as every muscle inside my body convulses. One movement at a time, and I find my body laying next to Mizar's. My arms wrapped around her as tears pour down my face. "I love you Mizar. I love you. I miss you, please help me. Please don't be dead. Please let this be a dream. I need you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." My head connects with her shoulder as it would when I was younger. She'd hold me, telling me stories. "You want to hear a story, Mizar? I'll tell you a story." My right hand runs along the side of her face knocking the hair out of her eyes. "What are you doing, Lulianna? She's dead, and you'll be dead next. Death is knocking on your door. You'll be joining her soon, don't you fret." My hands shake as my head returns to her shoulder trying to block them out.
"Once upon a time..." The words start slowly just as her words came to me.
I need you today. I need you with me. It's going to be a really long day. It's the day I've been dreading since you volunteered for the games. I don't want to go on anymore, and it's horrible, but I don't know what to expect. You left like a coward, but I know it was your last year, and you wanted to keep your promise to Muscinda, but you're no longer here. You kept that promise. You're free, and I need you here. I don't want you to be free. I miss you more than any words can say. Please, Mizar, walk by my side today. You're funeral is happening. You're going to be laid to rest, and maybe you can finally rest in peace. It won't have any peace for me- you don't know what's happening here. More and more children keep showing up stating they are siblings. Mom and dad are horrible. They keep begging us to train, and I don't want to train. I don't want the same fate as you. I- I miss you Mizar. Please help me. I need the strength to move forward. I can't live like this anymore. I can't be here. I can't get through this day. Help me not kill mom and dad. They don't understand, and they don't want us to mourn. I hate them, I hate the Capitol. I hate district seven. He betrayed you, Mizar. I watched it! How could you trust him! I-I don't know anymore. Please, please please help me. I need you. Help me get through this day.
Lulianna
Time doesn't move anymore- seconds became days, hours became weeks, days became months since Mizar volunteered for the games. It seems like it was only yesterday, but it wasn't. It's been several days. It's been horrible watching though. I jumped for joy when the bastard from seven died. He got what he deserved for betraying my sister, for severing her hand, for killing her. He got what he deserved, but it doesn't matter anymore because Mizar is dead, and she's never going to walk the earth again. I'll never hear her cocky attitude again. I'll never hear her broken heart as our parents yell at her telling her she's not good enough. That's the last thing Mizar ever heard from them. "You're a screw up Mizar! It's all your fault! You ruin everything! It'll always be your fault!" The words haunt me as I couldn't do anything to save her. I couldn't burst into the room as they were yelling, it would only end bad for me, and living with my parents, I didn't want them demeaning me.
I'll never wipe the tears away from her eyes as she cried over the death of her twin, Muscinda. They were always very close which is understandable as they were twins. I held Mizar for hours as she cried. I tried being strong for her, but it was impossible at times- we cried together many times. My parents had no idea what they did to her when they blamed everything on her, and they'll never understand. It irks me because they are celebrating she died; they are happy. It's like she was never their daughter, yet she was. She was an amazing person, and she'll always be an amazing person. Listening to my parents laugh at how much of a disgrace she is destroys me piece by piece. Mizar matters, I matter, Drae matters, Muscinda matters, nobody else does, at least, in this family. I miss her so much more than words can say, and today will be a horrible day as we prepare for the funeral. This is one of the hardest things any family should ever have to do, and today is one of those days.
I arrived at the cemetery early as I wanted the chance to say goodbye alone before everyone showed up. I walk slowly towards the casket holding her body as tears form in my eyes. Liquid fire surges through my veins as my feet stop in front of her. She looks so peaceful, but it doesn't mean anything because it's the last time I'll ever see her. "Mizar! You did this to yourself! You left me! You didn't even say goodbye! You volunteered for the damn games you fool! You didn't think about what it would do to me, to Drae, to the rest of the family. I know you may be walking with Muscinda wherever she is, but you left us! You weren't strong enough. You died too soon. He betrayed you. He destroyed you, and all you did was nothing. You didn't try to fight back. You were supposed to survive. You said you'd survive, but you didn't." A waterfall rolls from my face dropping onto the ground flooding the area around me. I miss you Mizar. I really miss you, and I need you.
Loud, violent howls fill the air around me as the shadows dance before my eyes. They taunt me, telling me I'm not good enough, and Mizar wasn't good enough. They laugh as they grow stronger, and I grow weaker. My hands grip the letter tightly as every muscle inside my body convulses. One movement at a time, and I find my body laying next to Mizar's. My arms wrapped around her as tears pour down my face. "I love you Mizar. I love you. I miss you, please help me. Please don't be dead. Please let this be a dream. I need you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." My head connects with her shoulder as it would when I was younger. She'd hold me, telling me stories. "You want to hear a story, Mizar? I'll tell you a story." My right hand runs along the side of her face knocking the hair out of her eyes. "What are you doing, Lulianna? She's dead, and you'll be dead next. Death is knocking on your door. You'll be joining her soon, don't you fret." My hands shake as my head returns to her shoulder trying to block them out.
"Once upon a time..." The words start slowly just as her words came to me.
Credit for this amazingly awesome table goes to puppy! <333 Thanks puppy!
