Wishing waiting (Marree)

The moment I walk out of the door, I see her standing there. The only rightous thing to do is to turn her away gently, but it doesn't seem that way. Instead, I take Jeran with me because I'd rather not have her making herself seem like the perfect sister, when I feel like I'm on Matthew's and she's nothing to him. She's only here, forced, to be there for him. I begin to question where his father is, but if he's not here, there has to be a good reason. With Jeran, he ushers me away, taking me back home.

In my room, I fall to my knees beside my bed and sit there for the longest time. My eyes gazing hard at the stitching on the comforter on my bed. Even the stitching of the fabric itself doesn't go unnoticed. Each thread has it's place in the blanket. With one missing thread, the whole thing would unravel. That is how I feel about Matthew. He's the thread holding me together in all of this. I know he is. Without him, I know I would fall apart but he keeps me going.

A gentle knock on the door is given and I pull the tears away from my face, but I dont' even budge from the floor. Instead, I pull my legs closer to my body and wait it out as Jeran comes in, taking a seat beside me. He doesn't say anything, but is merely there. For once, it just seems like he don't want to argue with me and he pulls his arm over to me and drags me close to him. Muffled, my sobs become me. Letting everyhting out is what he's allowing me to do and even though his shirt is getting soaked with salty tears, he doesn't bother to shove me away.

Exhaustion seems to sneak up on me just like a snake in the grass, cause before I know it, I've fallen into a dreamless slumber against JEran's chest. His arms wrapped around me, giving me that feeling of being safe. So far, only Matthew has ever evoked that kind of emotion from me of being totally at ease. Never before being able to relax enough, but this has to be the first of many times.

When my eyes open, the light floods my room, and the blanket is pulled up to my neck.

The following nights aren't quite as pleasant, but I never let it show against my face when I go to visit Matthew. The day when I go to pick him up, with Jeran driving, I've never felt happier. My face lights up the moment the hospital comes into view.

My steps are quick going to the room to pick him up, but before I can even get there, I notice the same woman I met that one night who was talking to my brother, fabricating stories, no less, and the one who is my boyfriends absent sister.

"Can I help you, Trinity?" I question her, stopping her from going any further into Matthew's room.

My words barely even phase her other than getting a simple 'Hello' from her. She doesn't even say my name this time like she did when we met last time and she dismissed herself after Matthew had to rest. She takes the full iniative to go in first, leaving me standing outside of Matthew's room stunned. Completely. I don't see where she gets the gall to go in there before me, when she wasn't there all the other times that he probably needed his sister. When she could have been nicer to him. It didn't matter if Matthew didn't care about her husband, he had good reasons. Those reasons, that she just couldn't see because she was blinded by that guy.

I stand outside the door, waiting. I'm not sure whether to go in now or give them a few minutes. So, I pace the floor and sit down in the chair, crossing my right leg over the left, and putting my index finger into my mouth. Curiously, I bite on the nail, picking at it with my teeth. Not sure why, but I'm nervous about something. What if she suddenly comes into his life again? What will that pose for us? Will she try to tear us apart?

A moment later, I can't stand to wait, even thought it's been just more than a few minutes. I walk behind her and she moves to let me in now. I go over to Matthew without a hitch, and he gets up, wrapping his arms around me gently.

"Hi there yourself. You doing okay?" I ask him, the other girl in the room not anywhere in my mind. To me, she don't exist. Anyone whose done something wrong to make Matthew hate women in the first place, has no reason to have nice words from me. I've done everything I could to get him this far, something that I've enjoyed and hated at the same time. It's taken time and I'm afraid with her presence, that all of our time together is going to go to waste with the presence of his sister showing up.

Without another moment, I place a kiss upon his cheek. "Ready to get out of here? Jeran offered to drive you home. So, he's outside waiting on us. Whenever your ready... I can give you a few minutes with your guest." I can't say sister. She's never been there for him. Obviously, I'm not very happy about his sister being here. CAn he tell? I hope I don't offend him by my obvious hate for his blood relative.

To hear him say that he's doing okay is a releif. Even more so that they are finally releasing him with orders to take it easy, no less. I'm sure that once we get to his house, I plan on making sure he rests. His father is probably at work or he'd be here to pick him up or my need to do that overruled what his father wanted. Maybe his father has finally realized that we were meant to be together despite his views on women. Whatever the case, I'm glad he didn't protest. Probably best seeing as who happened to show up.

I let Matthew know about the ride home and even offer to step out for him to meet with his 'guest'. This only lets him agree to my offer, cause he lets go of me and steps away from me toward his sister a little, his posture straigtening and he takes a deep breath. I watch for what happens between them. Listening to the words and everything. He asks her why she even came. Her responce was that the hospital had called her.

Now, I can see how Trinity has decided to be as friendly as myself. She don't even take note of me being here, except for that pathetic look she gives me. I shrug to her though. "Didn't seem important to get him worked up. He needed rest." I tell her and tear my gaze away from her and watch Matthew even more now. Their attitudes toward each other is something that I can relate to; a little. Regular sibling stuff, but what they are going through is more than just something that Jeran and myself have went through. We've never stayed that mad at each other that we didn't talk for years. A few days, maybe, but we always went back to being close. Matthew and Trinity though is different; very different.

"Well, I'm better now. About to go home to my life. Get back to yours, Trinity." Ouch! I know she's going to be upset with that kind of retort, but I'm not on her side. I'm on Matthew's and I refuse to feel any remorse to what she may be going through. My boyfriend's feelings come first because I know what she did to him.

I take in a heavy sigh, watching him get up from the bed. He's at the door before I know it, and I've taken to following just right with his step. I stay beside him, until he gets in front of me when she places her hand on him to get him to stop.

"Don't touch him." I say quickly, without reason as to how I've shown hatred toward her. Matthew's quick to move in front of me as well. Not sure why. I"m sure she's not going to hurt me, but does he just want to shield me from seeing what will happen next. I don't move, but listen.

"Why not? It's what you did to me... for four fucking years." He declares, then takes off down the hallways almost instantly. I can't look back at the girl cause I know she don't deserve any emotion that I'm going to give her. Instead, I race to keep up to Matthew, trying to get my hand into his.

"Matthew. Slow down, okay?" I don't want him to have to be readmitted into the hospital at all again. Finally, my fingers grip his hand and I pull gently. "She's not following." I wonder what's going through his head, but I think I already might know. He hates that she's shown up all of a sudden. Maybe he's mad at me as well since I did'nt tell him that she had came.

"I'm sorry. They wouldn't let her in to see you and I was afraid that she would make it worse on you. Was I wrong, that I didn't say anything? If so, I'll go back and apologize to her." I stop in my tracks and wait to see what I need to be doing. Whether he just wants to go home, or wants me to go back to apologize as much as I would hate to do that. It's his call. His decision.

Trying to catch up to Matthew isn't easy, but I'm more determinded than anything to make sure I don't let him go without trying to stop him. If he doesn't slow down or stop, he's going to collapse seeing as how it's effecting his breathing the last few days. The last thing I want is to have to see him back in the hospital all hooked up to those machines again. I dont even know why he's so adament about getting that angry when he knows it'll only hurt him, but that's the thing. I'm not him. He's been hurt by her so much by what she's done, that I have no right to try to get him to not be angry with her when I have the same feelings.

With my pleas, he slows down slightly, his chest heaving in and out and only when I tell him that she isn't following does he almost come to a complete stop. Tha'ts when I question him about my motives from the other day. Even going as far to apologize to her about the whole situation, but he declares that I was right. Shocking. The look on my face must show it as well.

"I did?" I wasn't sure. I was going based on my own feelings of hatred against the girl but never even thought about what his responce would be. So, I just did my own thing and with the advice from the nurse, it all worked out perfectly. The elevator opens up and we both enter it without another word. Only when the elevator starts moving down, does he begin to speak again.

"I'm sorry, Matthew." I wrap my arms around his one, and let my forehead rest against his arm. "just forget her. Maybe you can ask your dad about it. Surely, he'll have an answer as to why she's here."

The elevator opens up and I take his hand, letting my fingers connect between his to get a decent grip and walk with him. "C'mon. Lets get you home. I'll put you to bed." I say, just to get his mind off of what we just happened to run into. Outside, Jeran's truck is running and he waves as if he's trying to show us where he's parked.

Jeran's motion to where he's parked makes me wave back to him so he'll not have to think we're purposely overlooking him. I cross the small parking lot easily with Matthew in tow, and when we reach the truck, Matthew's all about taking the small extra cab in the back. I don't fuss, but I would have almost perferred that he sit up front where it was more comfortable. The first words out of Matthew's mouth is surprising and I let my gaze wander up to Jeran to see what his reaction will be.

Surprisingly, every since Matthew and the others had come to mine and Gala's rescue, he's been oddly nice about Matthew. I guess knowing that my boyfriend did so much to protect me has done good things for us in my brother's eyes. Jeran's reply to Matthew is surprising as well. No harsh tone or words. He's actually being pleasant.

"No problem, partner. Rather have you back at the academy sooner rather than later. They sent a new cadet to be at my side till you return. Not the best of decisions as the guy can barely fight, but smarter than a whip." I hear him chuckle before he continues. "He has the lowest scores in combat. So, when you coming back?"

I flash Jeran a grin and turn around to see Matthew. The drive is actually quite pleasant for once. Just silence reigns surpreme for now.

"Jeran, if you don't mind. Just drop me off with Matthew. I'm going to get him settled in. Not sure if his father will be there when we arrive or not. Okay?"

"Yup." He takes the next turn and hits the gas a little more, speeding up to just above the limit. I can see a small smirk on his face as he drives but he's not doing it out of anger. I shake my head.

"Matthew, is your father suppose to be home or is he working?"

Jeran is full of surprises. Oddly. But I appriciate his ability to be calm around Matthew right now. He has no clue how much I appriciate it and I'm sure that Matthew does, too. The conversationn between the two and what Jeran says about the academy and his new parter has Matthew coming back with a good question. Jeran just shrugs his shoulders.

"Not sure. We only partnered once or twice or something. So far, you're better than him. But, with him, I'll feel bad if I shot him. At least he didn't do anything to deserve it." His tone is humorous, but I glance back at MAtthew to see what exacty he thinks of it. When I turn my sights back on Jeran, I give him a light punch on the arm.

"Hey? Kya.. what was that for?"

"Be nice, Jeran. You owe him a lot." I'm pretty serious, or at least my tone is.

It's nice to hear that Matthew says he'll be back in two weeks, but hopefully in those two weeks, he'll take it easy. I don't care if I have to be there at his house, I'll make sure he gets well. I don't want to see his health decline, but I just hope he don't want to push me away. I don't even know if he sees how much it effects me to be without him. As long as I'm welcome, I'll come.

"I'd love for you to stay though." He tells me and I give him a simple nod.

"Of course." I see Jeran give me a sideways glance, but I roll my eyes at him and shake my head. A small smile creeps onto my face in the passing minutes until the car comes to a stop outside of Matthew's house. Without even waiting, he's sliding out of the car while telling Jeran that he'll see him at the academy. I'm out of the car in an instant and shutting the door behind me and racing up to meet with Matthew.

"You dont' mind that I stay for a while? Just till you get settled in or something or until your dad gets home." I don't want to say that I'm uncomfortable with him being home alone the first day out of the hospital. I wrap one of my arms around his, and wait as the door is opened then walk beside of him into his house.