Zehrili Qatil D11 {done}

Name: Zehrili Qatil
Age: Twelve
Gender: Male
District: Eleven

Appearance:
It's nearly impossible for one word to describe the looks laid plainly before the eyes of the free. In fact, many words can be used to describe the display spreading widely across my face. Tall isn't one of those words- I'm short standing roughly four foot three inches tall which is way different than my brothers. Ma tells me they were so much taller than I am now, but it's okay because being vertically challenged has many advantages in life. When playing games, it makes hiding easier as my body fits in places other's can't. Scrawny, and tiny are other words used to describe my appearance. I'm extremely tiny weighing about seventy pounds. It looks like a slab of skin has been thrown on top of my bones. I'm capable of climbing high in the trees when harvesting is going on because most branches are capable of holding my tiny self. I'm not a very strong person when it comes to lifting, but one day I want to be just like my brothers. They are fast, but I am slow which is to be expected considering life isn't easy as we all know it.

My ma told me my beautiful looks come from my pa. I guess I'm lucky having such an amazing pa. My skin is extremely dark, the color of dark chocolate. I can be in the sun for hours and never burn or anything. Dark black, fuzzy hair sits on top of my head falling just above my small curvy ears. My right ear is smaller than my left ear. I never understood why, but it's how it is. My forehead is large leading down to my black, thin, curvy, bushy eyebrows which does little to shield my eyes. My dark brown eyes are almond shape coming to a point on both sides. My cheeks are barely noticeable on my flat face. My nose is large and flat with a round point at the bottom. The only feature I received from Ma was my nose. It's okay having the nose except when a few people laugh. That's not the worse of it though. Tiny pink lips sit below my nose almost always keeping emotions clear of my face. My prominent jawline runs down my face meeting my chin at a rounded point leaving it angular to my face.

Despite what Ma tells me, I don't believe I am beautiful at all. Scars from being burnt covers my face, my chest, the entire right side of my body. Flames licked the right side of my body covering my face dancing down my throat making it nearly impossible to breath, to speak, to eat. It's almost impossible to hear anything out of my right ear, thankfully, my left works fine. I'm blind out of my right eye and the eye lid is missing completely. How can that be beautiful? My voice is a raspy voice from the flames ruining my vocal chords. I hate it, but it's part of life, and I must deal with it. My entire torso is covered in a pinkish scar. I try to wear clothing that'll hide my skin, but it's impossible as I don't want to over heat so it's obvious all the time. My right arm isn't nearly as bad as the rest. It nearly made it out without any problems. My right leg, however, is different. My right ankle melted before cooling. It's hard to walk, but I deal with it. I'm strong, and I can't be weak. I must work to survive.

Personality:
It's hard trusting people because of how I look. It terrifies me that someone will laugh at me the moment they see me. I want to lurk behind the trees hiding away from everyone because it makes me feel easier about myself. I've seen some people be extremely rude to people with deformities, and it won't be any different for me. My eyes never make eye contact with others unless they are trying to help me, then, it's still extremely hard. Talking to people isn't easy because it sounds like I'm always whispering no matter how loud I try to talk. It's horrible knowing how some people are. I know some would laugh at me the moment they laid eyes on me. Leaving the house is few and far between and only when it's mandatory, like harvesting, the reaping, and whatever else. When I leave, I stay hidden behind my ma when I can because she's always there to protect me no matter what. I'm glad she's my ma, and I know deep down she'd let me stay at home if it was possible, but she takes me out because she wants me to make friends eventually.

I don't want any friends because it's impossible to find any friends worth my time. It's hard sitting in school learning about Panem when I constantly feel like people are looking at me, staring, at my horrible looks. I may be ugly on the outside, but I'm pretty on the inside, yet it's near impossible to bring out the pretty lurking within. My older brothers try to protect me as much as they can, yet they go through the same thing I do. I look up to them a lot as they are so strong. Despite living like I do, they don't let it bring them down. It floats through my mind many times as I wish I was like them. The slightest words of hatred shatter my heart causing tears to run down my face. I don't understand why some people treat me the way they do. Some are very nice standing up for me, but I don't need that. I don't want them to because I should be able to do that for myself, yet it doesn't work all the time. It frustrates me knowing how easily life can be taken for granted, yet it happens every single day I'm alive with every breath I take.

Sometimes, I think life isn't worth living. It would be so much easier being away in the afterlife where nothing would harm me or anything, yet every time death runs before my eyes, I think of my family and what it would do to them. Ma is so strong taking care of us. Pa is working all the time and can't be home, but Ma is there. My brothers, they always think life is worth living, they try to make me happy all the time, and sometimes it works, but it's been so long since a smile has formed on my face. All that happens over and over again is it gets slapped away by stupid people walking among the district. My oldest bro says I should just ignore them as long as I'm happy with my life, all will be fine, but he doesn't realize I'm not happy at all with my life. I hate it, and dying would set me free. Maybe if they understood what I was going through, they would realize how weak I am. I can't be strong anymore because it's breaking me.

History:
Life was never easy growing up dirt poor. No money to really eat barely enough food to survive. Ma and Pa would always give what they had to me and my brothers as they wanted us to grow up an be strong. Pa spent endless hours working in the fields trying to provide for us, but it never paid off. He'd come home tired, exhausted ready to sleep. Sometimes we'd drink water and just chew on some grass growing inside the house. My stomach always yells for more food, but it never comes. Every night when I lay my head down, I go to sleep hungry. In school, the teachers talk about how much the Capitol loves us, but it doesn't make any sense. If they love us, why would they let us go hungry? Shouldn't they provide for us? It doesn't work that way, though. All the food we harvest is sent to the Capitol and distributed throughout the districts. Even stealing an apple from a tree could result in death if caught- it's not worth the risk. It's a risk I've though about taking a lot, though, but dying is the only option if caught.

One night we were laying awake watching the stars in the sky wondering if there was any hope at all. Pa had just come home from a late night at work, and he lit a candle before walking inside. My hands ran through the dirt wondering what was going to happen. Days had passed by since our last meal, and it was obvious- I thought for sure we were going to die. Silent sobs escaped into the night as my brothers held me close. They kept telling me it would be alright, that we'd survive. What little bit of food they had left, they gave to me because they thought I deserved it. I remember my oldest brother saying they could survive longer without food because they were older and stronger than I was, but listening to the rumble in their stomachs told me different. It was terrifying not knowing where our next meal would come from, or when our next meal would come at all. It was impossible to cry, though, because no tears fell down my face as I had already cried so much. I prayed every night if there was a god for him to provide, but he never listened, so I gave up.

That night, we all fell asleep with the candle burning. Me and my brothers slept tight in a corner on the hard ground in the shack of home. A worn out blanket laid on top of us, but it didn't do much as holes covered the surface. My body finally gave in and fell in sync with the snores of my brothers. Then it was warm, too warm, and the awfullest smell filled my nose as screams erupted into the house. Red and orange danced around the house so bright it burnt my eyes. I felt the flames dancing on my body as I tried to toss the blanket off. My parents cried out in the night begging for us to get up, to move, but the flames were so hot it wasn't easy. Smoke flew into my lungs, and I thought it was the end; maybe god had answered my prayers. I wasn't ready to die though. I had a life placed before me, and I wanted to live. I grabbed the hand of one of my brothers, and told him to grab my other brother's hand and to stay down and stay close, and somehow we managed to make it out of the house.

My life turned upside down as I collapsed onto the ground. My parents grabbed my hands and dragged me away from the house. I had expected to be in a lot of pain, but the pain wasn't there. My entire body was numb. I remember watching people pour buckets of water onto the house, but it was too late. Ma knew all the correct herbs to heal, and she placed them on top of my body. It didn't make sense at first, but now I'm glad she knew what she was doing. It was dark. I couldn't see anything until my left eye open. I moved it around and closed it again trying with everything I had to keep my right eye open, but it was black. My heart pranced under my chest unsure of what was going on. Part of me still felt like I was dying, but I could hear the faint drum ticking as blood surged throughout my veins. My head turned around wondering where my brothers were, but Ma wouldn't let me see them. She said we all needed our rest. That's when it hit me- I'm not dying. I am very much alive.

Codeword: oDair

Lyrics: One Last Breathe: Creed