Erena Dodge (done)

I can almost hear his ringing voice desperately trying to mimick Caesar Flickerman... ugh.. In any case, that is how he describe me, my trainer down at the center. He always does that when he's talking to the other trainers and I am around. I do hate it, but he's right. I am sincerely brutal. I lived my entire life, training as some sort of killing machine. I’m not a murderer, not yet. But I will be, one day. I’m a career, like many other kids in my district. I like it, the training. I like the way it makes my body feel, but the worse part about it is that I feel tempted to enter the arena. I feel tempted to murder. Something isn’t quite right about that, right? I don’t know why, but hurting others makes me feel sincerely good. I get this warm feeling, and a huge rush of endorphins. I guess that’s mostly human, but I don’t mind seeing other suffer. I do believe I am some sort of psychopath, but I try not to show it.

Somehow, I manage losing my innocent in such an early age. I still remember my first kill. In our garden, I had a kitchen knife. It was a little bird, it could barely fly because it was already hurt. I enjoyed it, way too much. My mother freaked out, when she heard that her five year old daughter was killing baby birds. I lied and said I did it to but the poor little bird out of its misery. I remember wishing that was why I did it. My stepfather understood from that moment on. He put me into training as fast as I was ready. None of my parents ever wished for me to be a career, but I was born to be and my stepfather knew it. He knew I was a soulless monster, meant to be in the game. I guess I’m thankful for that, that he could accept that his step-daughter is a brutal killer.

I turned to the training center and found something beautiful. It sounds weird, I know. But in the training center, I found people that are likeminded. They see me for what I really am, and they accept it. I made my first friend when I started training, and now I have a whole bunch. Who would think that right? A monster like me actually have monster friends. Yes, life in the training center is great. It is my sanctuary, and I worship it. The training allows my anger outbursts, and turns them in to something special, a strength instead of a weakness.
Honestly, I don’t understand what the big deal with killing humans is. You kill an animal, and nobody even raises their eyebrows. You kill a person, and everybody suddenly lose their minds. Flesh and blood, it’s the same thing in different form. A life is a life, right? I live in district four, we kill fish all the time. That’s what we do for a living, almost all of us. Most people are a bunch of hypocrites, if you’re asking me. My mother tried analyzing my behaviour once, what a total waste of time. She told me I was incapable of relating to other people, which I already knew. I hate people like that, with some sort of medical degree so they think they can tell you have to live your life. I have to handle the traumatic memories from the past, yeah right like I actually have to do anything.

I am a big disappointment to both of my parents. To my mother and stepfather, to be correct. They wanted me to be a perfect little girl playing with dolls, instead they got a soulless monster. They hate me, but who can blame them, right? It’s weird because I really couldn’t care less. I understood from my friends that you are supposed to care about your parents and how they treat you, but I really don’t. They couldn’t matter less to me. I care about one person though. My little sister, Miley that just turned 8 years of age. I don’t know why I love her so much, but I think it might has to do with her innocence. Maybe it’s some sort of animal behavior that has manage surviving in our lost spices. Some sort of herd behavior. That would be cool. She’s so small and breakable, I feel I need to protect her. We are completely different, me and her. She is everything my parents always wanted. She’s pure and perfect, such an innocent soul. She would never hurt a fly. We even look like each other’s opposites. I got a little bit darker skin, with brown hair and green eyes. My sister on the other hand, she’s blonde with big brown eyes. It’s not that surprising that we are this unlike, since we only share a mother.

My father died when I was two years old. He killed himself, cut up his wrists in the bathroom. I was playing hide and seek with my twin sister, and I found him. I don’t remember a whole lot, sometimes I get flashbacks though. It’s kind of blurry, and a hell of a lot of blood. I don’t know if I might made it up in my head as I thought it would be, or if it is a real memory. It really doesn’t matter. My mother and my stepfather thinks this is why I turned out like I did. That this incident scared me. Maybe it did, but I don’t know why they always turn my brutality into something bad. I enjoy my own flaws. They say flaws are what makes you human, but my flaws doesn’t. They are what makes me inhuman.

But, as any person I have real flaws to. I mean, some would say being soulless is a flaw, but I don’t consider it to be. But that I can be arrogant is an stupid, human flaw. It means that I’m not always prepared. I can easily be tricked, because of my high self-esteem. I tend to be fooled by the fact that I think I have everything under control, at all times. I really don’t. I’m not very self-aware either, which can make me rather annoying. You might have noticed. And my stupid sister knows this for a fact. She always finds me Akilles-heels, and pushes them to the point of no return. This is why I hate her. I hate that she knows my insecurities. She is always bullying me for having such a terrible clothing style too. I don’t care that much, but it bothers me that she is always picking on me for it.

I haven’t told you about her, Beth, my twin. And I swear to god, she is the most evil creature of them all. I have no idea how evil that egg we shared in our mothers tummy was, but it certainly must have been pure evil since it created two little daemons at once. Maybe it was our fathers genes. Maybe he was as cruel as her, or as psychopathic as I am. The thing that disturbs me the most about her, is that everybody thinks she’s a freaking saint. Our parents love her, everybody loves her. People tell me we look very similar, and I absolutely hate it. Sometimes they even confuse me for her, and nothing could possible make me more mad then that. She is manipulative, and so sneaky that nobody sees her for what she really is. I’d like to tell you she’s uglier than me, but we do actually look about the same. She is just as tall as I am, which is about 5’6” of height. She has the same long, curly hair. We even have the same goddamn eyebrows. Her face is puffier than mine though. It bothers me, because it really fits our face. I look so unhealthy compared to her. I really don't like her.

My family is neither wealthy or poor. We get through the day, each day. We can't afford any luxuaries though. This bothers my sisters a lot, but I barely even notice. Whenever I can squeeze it in between school and training, I go swimming. I love swimming, and I always have. My stepfather taught me how to swin when I was about 4 years old, and I learned very fastly. I'm like the fish in the sea, and I absolutely love it. It makes me feel free. I usually try to help my parents out with fishing from time to time to. They need all the help they can get, and I don't mind it.