The morning after (Marr)

Shaking fingers and a flittering heartbeat is the only things going through my conscious mind. That and the fact that we seem to have that connection going once again. Words that seem to pull us closer together. Examples of why I feel that I won't be alive with him. Not only from when he came after Jins when he was dragging me away, but before that. When he shot him to try to keep him from hurting me any longer. In those three months, he brought me back to life. He gave me a life aside from trying to prove what I could be so that I didn't feel like I was weak against others. That is something that I don't think he understands fully. At least, my reasonsing make sense to me and myself alone.

"Good." He tells me with a hug that starts out tight but then loosens up, but he keeps his grip though. I can only imagine that he's still in pain. It's only been two weeks after what happened with all of us. A wound like that just won't heal on it's own so quickly. "I don't think I told you this... but I was really scared at the hospital."

I give him a subtle nod. I would fully understand. Being in the hospital isn't no peice of cake, but when your life is on the line, between life and death, it plays a toll on you. Thankfully, I was quickly put under. I didn't have to experience the same pain that he did. I didn't have to suffer like he is now. Mine is more of an mental shutdown. Those don't seem to heal like a flesh wound would. I can't just wrap it up and forget about it. I'm sure he's dealing with the same thing.

"You don't have to thank me." I shake my head. "I was scared for you, too. I didn't know if I would be able to hug you again. Kiss you. Be wrapped in your arms, where only I feel safe and comforted. You are my rock. You know that right?"

I take his hand and motion to keep it up in the air as I stretch out his fingers just like I want them then place my hand against his. Even though his fingers are longer than mine, I let my fingers coil down to become interlaced with his. Not but a moment later he moves the wind tausseled hair out of my way and tucks it behind my ear. The nervousness that befalls upon my heart makes it skip a beat. All of this is becoming new again. The way he lightly kisses my cheek.

"I love you."

I don't even get to say it back to him. Instead, we kiss. More than all the other times, this feels so much different. It's not a childish kiss of teenagers in puppy love. It has so many feelings and vibes from it. That electric touch of his lips against mine chills me to the bone. At this moment, it's just about me and him. The tree's that surround us. The lake where the fog has lifted completely but neighter of us notice it at all. We're wrapped up in each other. I bring both of my hands to wrap around his neck gentle, tangling my fingers together so he won't let me go.

A solitary moment for breath breaks the kiss but I linger close to him, our noses touching. My eyes focusing on his eyes. I see him for who he is. He is someone that I don't want to let go. I will fight to have him and I would do anything not to lose him. I know people will say we're too young. That we can't be in 'true love' with each other, but we've been through more than anyone else can say they have been. We've depended on each other from the start.

"It's about time." I say for no reason at all and get closer to him. I have to be gentle with him. I don't want to mess with his healing wound so I'm not going to press him to do anything that will exhaust him. If we just sit with each others arms around each other, then that's all I want. I want to feel his breath on my neck. I want to feel comfortable with him. Right now, this camping trip has been one heck of a ride.

Together, we become something more than just simple titles of boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm not sure what it is about this time, but it may be the one time where we just fully engulf our love for each other into fueling our movements. Simple lust or simple love isn't what this is. This is us becoming more. Maybe to a point that is unable to express what we are to each other. A comforter. A friend. A shoulder. A need.

We get so wrapped up in each other, that we barely even notice the change in direction until we're laying next to each other, fully allowing one another to catch our breaths. My eyes linger on his body, while his finger trails along my own body. We're so exposed out here in the open, protected only by the water in front of us and the prickly bushes. My lips come together to kiss his skin so gently.

"I felt it, too." I finally say to him. I was in no position to speak when he mentioned it into my ear, whispering so sweetly those words. He's the one who verbalized what I couldn't until now.For a moment, I listen to him breath, hearing the slight noise due to his previous injury. "I told you to be gentle, Matthew."

I shake my head and get up on the bend of my arm and look to the scars that are forming on his chest. Ever so slowly, I bring my lips to kiss each one of those marks. Once again, we've got matching marks. Places on our body that are from metal weapons. Although, my scar is much more welcomed because it came from him during our first time together. Just as soon as my lips leave his chest, my fingers take over, drawing lines around the areas. I trace small lines across his skin like I always do. I dont know why I find so much peace as I do it, but it is calming for me. Especially after we we show each other so much love like that.

"Are you okay?" I ask him. My gaze is upon his facial features trying to determine the outcome of what we just did. That's the last thing I want is to hurt him any further. It doesn't even occur to me how far we went this time because I'm not worried about that at all. Before he can answer, I lean up and kiss him gently. "Matthew, what is it about you that I can't just understand? Why I can never just let you go. You have some kind of power over me, don't you? A spell... power..."

I lay my head on his chest, draping my arm over his body. With a heavy sigh, I sit up and grab one article of clothing and draw it close to my body. "I love you. You know that right?"