The morning after (Marr)

With everything that happened last night, sleep was nothing but mandatory for myself. Everything from the dare, to the drinks to running after Vy in the woods, the sleep that last night induced was nothing short of amazing. Not a single dream invaded my slumber. In fact, the worst that even happened was being woken up by the tiny hand of Brooklyn as she turned in her sleep and her fingers hit my nose. In short, the sleep that I managed to have was pure bliss. Even now, as I start to wake, I hear the rustling of the tent's opening and I barely glance at it, but then close my eyes the moment that it is fully unzipped. I'm more than curious to know who it is that might be invading out tent.. the other three deeply unconscious people in the tent are breathing heavy and all differently. Which of the guys is coming to the tent?

"Ky!" His voice calls out in a loud whispering tone after he declares us the four beauties sleeping here in the tent. I do move enough to make him see that I might be awake, but I'm unsure of what he truely wants. So, I lay still again until he called out my name. Only then, do I open my eyes and turn to look at him. With a small groan and a good stretch, I look to the door of the tent. Matthew's voice calls out to me and tells me to come out to him, so, I look to the other sleeping girls then to the light thats starting to befall upon the tent.

"EArly, isn't it?" I question him and quietly exit my sleeping bag, but not before glancing to the sleeping Vy and praying that she stay asleep. What happened last night suddenly weighs heavy on my mind. The kisses. The touches. Was it all a complete mistake? I shrug. What happened last night was probably due to the amount of alcohol, but the promise I made Vy keep is set in stone. No one else can know about what went on during that game that went a little too far.

Exiting the tent, I see him immediately and give him a pleasant grin and a whispered greeting. "Good morning, babe." I play with the nickname and turn so that I can zip the tent up. When that's done, I turn back to him and wrap my arms around his neck. I let it linger for a moment before standing up.

The sun that peaks over the tree's warms my very skin. I pull on the night clothes that I'm wearing, the short sleep shorts that is the color of an iris, a deep purple that's lighted at the tips with a lilac color. My shirt is just a simple black, but it's sleeveless arms makes the morning chill send shivers down my spine. "What's gotten you up so early?"

Greeting him this morning the moment I step out of the tent is wholesome. It feels nice. Natural. After what happened last night, I was all too worried about what would happen between mine and his relationship. If it would be halted because of the what happened between me and Vy. What happened between the game that has ultimately made all of us regret one thing or another. Maybe, the alcohol might have confused some of our minds enough that we might forget, but I"m pretty sure the details of last night will live on forever.

When he opens up his arms to wrap around me for only a moment and the tender kiss upon my cheek is given, It feels like before. I don't think I can sense any kind of bad vibes from what happened. Maybe, it will never be brought up again? Questions arise about his need to be up and he grabs my hand and together we leave the sanctity of the camp for a more private approach. We take a quick walk through the woods. The entire time, he doesn't let go of my hand. We weave in and out through the logs and the trees. The various dips in the rough terrain. Even my eyes catch on to little sights around of life coming awake. The squirrels play around in the tree tops and then my eyes happen upon the water. From there, I can see the fog lifting slowly, though it just hovers above- never mixing with the water below.

"That's nice." He claims and I give him an approving sound to compliment his voice. Now completely out of the way of the camp, does he stop and I stop along with him. With a sweet gesture, he draps a jacket over my shoulders and I hug on to it like it's my life. The chill bumps intensify though with the protection from the chill I didn't know was so bad.

I follow his actions and sit on the fallen tree not far away. It seems like we're avoiding words at the moment until he finally speaks first, asking about the game last night.

"It was interesting. I'll admit that much. Fun at first... maybe awkward to the end." I won't say much more. I won't tell him that the kiss between me and Vy wasn't horrible inthe least. I can just remember my feelings at the moment when my head with full of confusion and need. Did I do it the second time for him or because of him?

"Are you okay..." I question him because I can tell already something isn't just peachy with him. He seems a little hesitant to speak and since he brought up the game, I think he is going to be mad at me. "listen, the dare I gave Max... I didn't mean to get you upset about it. I just didn't want to be the wet blanket and give a childish dare. At least, I didn't make him strip down to the nude. Right?"

That's also when I remember that his clothes are probably still being hidden behind their tent. As dark as it was and with tensions so high, I'm sure Max didn't go looking for his clothes.

When I think back to the night before, I remember how he suddenly moved away from me the moment that I had given the dare to Max. It wasn't my fault the bottle landed on Max. It was fate and oh, how fate can sometimes be cruel. Even now, it's still coming back to haunt me. One good nights sleep and I'm already back to the beginning of my emotional backup. Things that shouldn't have been done. Things that needed to happen that didn't. Things that happened but didn't need to. Why do I feel the need to always try to make sure things work out my own way and hope that it doesn't effect anyone else? I can't stay strong much longer. I can't keep up this facade forever.

"Max likes you." I hear him say. So, he's not mad at the fact that I dared Max to strip, rather than the fact that he thinks that Max likes me. I doubt that. You should have seen the way he reacted when I told him we were together. When I gave back the necklace he gave me as a gift and he wasn't nothing but a potential boyfriend at one point. I shake my head just slightly. He probably don't think that at all now. He's merely a strong shoulder to cry on and to rely on when it's needed. A friend. Perhaps a good friend if we could ever let go of the past. I know he still thinks about it cause I do. I wish Matthew knew what a complicated relationship we have as friends.

"I'm sure it's not that, Matthew. Maybe.... at first he did like me. At first, it might was going to turn into something. Not now though... not when I gave back the..." My mouth runs away with me before I know it. With a gentle shake of my head, I give off a smile. I need to clear his thoughts of Max or I'll never be around him without him thinking that Max still likes me.

"We're friends. Nothing more. You know, when we... weren't together, we met at that party. After that, we never even met up again. Not until like a week later, after we had gotten back together. I figured it was going to be a friendly outting and stuff." I turn to Matthew, giving him an honest pair of eyes. "not even jewelry could sway me away from you. He didn't know we got back together, but i"m surprised he's even here tonight... or that night. I walked out on him. I'm pretty sure, that any feeling of 'liking me' is gone after that. We're friends and I think that's all we'll ever be."

I hold all other words and let Matthew try to sink in all the details I just gave him. The sun rises just a little more, its rays drying the semi damp jacket on my shoulders, warming me. Matthew suddenly comes out with something that has my expression changing from serenity to absurdity.

"Are you kidding? I know that. Last night was completely alcohol related. I'm not holding that against you. I hope... that you won't hold what happened between me and Vy against me either? I mean, next time, don't let anyone dare me to kiss another girl. Please? Not even for you." Quickly, I bump my shoulder into him gently. "especially, for you. Don't egg it on next time either." I tease him now.

I'm curious what else there is that is bothering him cause it might not be the only thing. Just to kinda break away from what he mentioned, I stand and hug my arms to my body. Out here in the shorts that I'm wearing, my legs feel cold and especially wearing nothing but ballet flats for shoes. I didn't know we were going to go trekking through the woods a little distance or I'd have gotten my other foot protection. I glance back at Matthew for a moment and walk to the water's edge. Carefully, I wiggle my foot out of it's barrier and dip it into the cold water. Another shiver. Then I pull my other foot in as well. The ripples start small and edge outward more. The fog around the lake kisses my skin as I take a deep breath, letting the suns rays warm my face.

"You know. For the first time in two weeks, I slept without a single dream last night. It was actually kind of nice."

Matthew's reaction to mine and Vy's moments of intimacy is challeged when he declares that he probably would have liked to see it again. That what happened between us was 'okay' in his terms. It might be a bad thing to get me and Vy together when we're drinking so, perhaps, I should mention that against to him later if it even happens that Vy and I are together and alcohol is one of the leading means of fun. Being sober might save the night. A tiny shrug comes next when I take to stepping in the water. The bone chilling liquid that covers my feet to my ankles is sending these harsh chills up my spins, already wanting to make my teeth chatter. I hate cold water and probably anything else that is this chilly. My eyes close. My chest inflates with a deep breath then moves in the opposite direction when I release the breath.

An arm touches my back making me jump slightly. It's not that it scared me, but it was just unexpected. I knew better than to think it would be anyone other than Matthew, but the touch was still unexpected. Shaking my head, I feel his arms wrap around me even more and he pulls me so close to him. "That feels good. To have you here with me. You know that right?" I question him. His lips touch my head, kissing my hair and that alone sends a tiny spark through my body. He's always been able to do that. No matter what, anytime something is genuine between us whether it be a kiss or a gentle touch with his finger, it always feel like love.

Oh, how things sure have changed since day one.

"Lets just forget last night."

"Done. It's probably best anyways, right? What happened is done and over with. What happens now, is more important, right? And tomorrow?" I tell him then place one hand on his as he rubs his fingers across my hand. I turn to meet with his eyes and lean my head back to find his lips. So soft. So sweet. I let this moment of serenity come over me and to allow myself this peaceful moment with my boyfriend. When the kiss breaks, I keep my head leaned back against him, my forehead placed in the curve of his neck. My eyes close and a sigh befalls upon me. I bring my other hand to reach for my wrist where I had put the bracelette. The tiny chain encircles my wrist and I let my fingers linger on one of the green colored gems on it. I rub it subconsciouly as the sounds of nature makes this morning the best it can be. No sounds come from camp yet. No mention of our names as their curiosity sparks. They have to still be asleep. That's the only explaination.

"Next week, Matthew... can we go out on another camping trip? For my birthday. I mean, you and I... maybe the others if they want to? I just don't want to spend it at the house. Maybe Jeran can come or something. Unless you have a better idea?"

"Lets look forward not back." Those are truely wise words from someone like this. There's so much about Matthew that I'd still like to get to know. More about him that I think we should explore now that we're getting more serious. Time to work on some of the smaller details about our lives; like birthdays. So, I tell him that my birthday is coming up in the coming week. It's nothing special. Just another day in my book, but it's the seventh year after my mom has passed away. Another birthday without the woman with whom used to make my birthday such a big deal and since she's been gone, my birthday has been nothing but a common day with a few nice words from my brother and father. Not much to go off of for a special day. Though, I do still have the candles that my mom used on my last birthday, my tenth. I've got them hidden, wrapped up in a towel and placed in a box at the bottom of my closet. Every year, I bring them out just so I can include her in my day. The wax is getting so low on them with each year. I light them and blow each one of them out quickly so I don't spend them too much.

"It's your birthday next weekend? When, what day?" His voice suddenly perks up from where moments' ago, our lips were soft and gentle. This news has gotten him excited for some reason. I can't help but smile along with him.

"Friday. Well, it's not exactly the weekend, but close enough, right?" I tell him and shrug. "I just don't want to stay home on friday to have to endure yet another mundane day with my family. They don't take it that serious. Birthdays... Not even their own. It was my mother's specialty. Not really the men's." I explain to him the need to actually do something other than the annual norm.

That's when I see the excitment about to burst from him. Like a child waiting for christmas to appear only one minute later. Then without waiting any longer, he exclaims that his birthday is the week after mine, but on a Saturday. I shake my head at him then feel him embrace me even tighter. Finding out our birthdays are close has him acting like a child that just got whatever they wanted for christmas. He lets me go. His hands release me but with the parting of his hands around me his lips find mine with a sense of urgency and excitement.

"That's crazy. There are so many things I don't know abuot you yet. We've been through hell and back but I don't know your birthday. What else don't I know abou tyou?" I shrug my shoulders, playing into this boyish nature that I've never seen on him before. I don't know what this camping trip has done to him, but I like it. I really do. It's so amazing to see him acting this way and I can't help the wide smile on my face.

"I guess, you know all the basics, but we've not really been able to really discuss the smaller things. Birthdays... colors..." He steals another kiss from me and I shake my head. "You know I hate it when you steal things that aren't yours to take..."

Now, I'm the one teasing with him. So, I take a kiss of my own and make it last twice as long as his. Laughter errupts from me a moment later and I pull out of his grasp just enough to take two more steps into the cold water. "I also hate cold water, but do you? How far are you willing to go to get what you want?"

My feet slip further and further back until the water is far up to my knees. It's not that the water is cold enough to freeze me to no end like that day when the snow and dogs made us retreat into a cabin for safety, but it's rather something totally different. I feel my body quake from nervousness. I don't want to fall into the water so early in the morning, but I love to play games with Matthew every chance I get. "You know I like games. There's something else you know... What about you. Tell me something I don't know yet. Are you a sleep walker? I know you can play the piano, which reminds me... are you still hard headed about that? Not letting me listen to you play? I still want to one day. Maybe, you can play it for me for my birthday? I'm not asking for much."

I can't help but give him a sudden glare to the suggestion of a present he'd give me. A night with him. He has to still be reeling from the drinks from the previous night or something cause it's gotten him all excited just because our birthdays are close. Though, I do know one thing, and that is he's just a year older than I am. The thought of us sharing birthdays later on is actually enticing. It makes me think that I've never learned Gala's birthday either. I only know Tyren's and Alex's because of the party. I make a mental note to ask Gala when her birthday is. She's just as important to the group.

It's weird how we seem to compliment each other now. When we tease, we give right back to each other what the other one dealt and when I express my hatred for him taking things that don't belong to him, he makes it to where I have stolen twice over what he took from me. Though, he makes no big deal about it but there's the comment about Vy in there about taking my kisses. Now's the time to take that joke a little further to see what his views is on the whole situation. What would he have done if he had seen more than just what we did? Would he have been all for it?

"Well... you might wanna be worried. Vy's lips are very hypnotizing." I give off a chuckle and drop my head. Embarresment flooding my cheeks for moments at a time. What connection we have seems to highten just a little bit more the closer we are together. That's something so weird about me and him. We can't be together for no longer than five minutes before the innuendo's start. It's actually quite amusing and enticing, but I don't say anyhting. Instead, I start to go out further in the water until he tries to coax me back to him.

I'm only in it for the jest of the situation, but something really seems to trouble him I can tell. Call it a hunch, but any other time, he wouldnt' hesitate to come in after me or chase me down. Why is he doing this now? A cold chill shoots up my spine, making me wish that I hadn't decided to go in deeper. My bottom lip actually does start to quiver from the cold for a second before I stop it before Matthew can see. Don't be weak, Ky. Show no cold.

When he don't budge to come out to get me, I sigh and put my lower lip out. It don't last long as I can't keep a straight face with him stareing at me then motioning something very personal about himself. That has me giving in after he declares that he'll play me something on the piano for my birthday and a meal that would consist of a sandwich. I could care less; to have him prepare any kind of meal in my honor would most likely have me grinning from ear to ear.

I take his hand and walk out of the water and feel how absolutely freezing my legs are now. The chill bumps are all up and down my legs and I pull my arms into my body because the sudden chill has racked my body. I hide the cold well when he declares his favorite color is the color of my eyes.

"Hazel is not a color... and I thought I had brown eyes? Or maybe you should take a better look?" I wrap my arms around him just to get some form of warmth through my skin again. I press my body against him and lay my head on his chest gently. He's warm. Very warm. I don't know how he does it but for some reason, he feels like a personal warming blanket. Suddenly, this feeling overtakes me. Just me and him. The rising sun over the horizon and the fog that has lifted even more now. I give off a slight noise to this calmness that has befell upon me. A sigh follows.

"You know. I could get used to this." I state and pull out of his arms just to take both of his hands in my own. "Come on. Want to just watch the sunrise?" I ask him and lead him back to the log that we were just sitting on before my adventurous side wanted to take over. Now, I feel serene and wanting to be in Matthew's arms. I sit down and motion for him to do the same and I lean into him when he does sit down.

When I motion for him to join me, to sit with me, he moves behind me so that I am able to use him as a support. My head lays back on him, ever so gently, and the sigh is released. I tell him that I can get used to this and in response, he says the same thing. The only difference now, is that he elaborates on that statement. Listening to him talk about how he misses me when I'm not around him has me wondering. He's done a complete turn around in the last six months of our relationship. These words that come from him, explaining things has my cheeks warming themselves. He works with his boots to relieve himself of those confining things. I've already done the same when I had stepped into the water and my eyes happen upon my slip on shoes still over by the edge of the water. I don't want to move out of his grip.

I revel in having his arms around me so much that when he begins to question me something very serious, I lean up and turn around to meet with his eyes. "How serious are you about me? I mean. You seem pretty open about Vy... where are you going with this?" He must not liked my statement about Vy's lips being hyponotizing. In all honestly, I can't say that I disliked the kiss, but that's the difference between Vy and him. What we have, Matthew and I, can never be broken by a girl. Challenged... perhaps, but what happened with Vy is on the other end of the spectrum. It probably won't ever happen again. Not to mention, it was Matthew's idea to have that moment with her again. Now, it only seems like dreams from the other night.

"A relationship with two girls. Yeah. Nor would I." I tease but I can tell he's being serious now. My tone changes to what he's asked.

"But you are. Only you though. Is that something you want?"

"Of course, it is. You don't think that everything we've been through will just be hogwash so many months later? Honestly, you've changed so much since the first time we started going out. I've stuck by you a lot. Missed you like crazy when we weren't together. Done some stupid stuff because of you. You've changed me, Matthew. I wouldn't want anything more than what we have right now." My thoughts begin to invade me. Where is he getting with this? Is his sudden cold shoulder of not wanting to play games with me meaning something. I can't figure out where this is going. Is he challenging our relationship? Is he tired of 'us'?

"... is everything okay between us?" I ask him with concern. My eyes trying to search his for answers.