The morning after (Marr)
May 22, 2014 8:58:09 GMT -5
Post by * on May 22, 2014 8:58:09 GMT -5
Somehow, my question totally gets skipped my Matthew. His facial expression is one of confusion and I'm guessing it's from what I said only moments before hand. I halt my voice and hear him out. I never expected that he would not understand what I meant about not wanting anything more than what we had at that exact moment. I clearly meant that at this moment, I want nothing more than to just be with him. Him and I together with no interruptions. No other person trying to seperate us or our fathers complete dislike for our relationship. If only it could be like this for longer, is the whole meaning behind it, but he's put the meaning into a whole different league.
"Meaning, I don't want nothing else but you right now. No camp games or fishing or anything else. Just this feeling of being together, both of us?" I shrug cause I didn't know it would be that hard to explain. He seems to think that what I said meant that I don't want more from him. Yes, every girl dreams of the future, but with him, it just seems to fall into place every day of our lives. We've lived on the edge several times. We've split our seperate ways and dealt with some pretty serious things that has happened in our lives and that's possibly the entire reasoning as to why I don't want anything else to happen between us. I just want me and him to be happy and to enjoy what we've been given.
"I don't usually think about the future, maybe what I want to become... but not how I want to spend my life. I do think about us though..." My heartrate speeds up and at the next part of what he says has it skipping a beat. Nervousness appears and it takes my body by storm. I can't explain why all of a sudden, out of all the times I've been with Matthew, that I am getting nervous now?
What he mentions about his future, due to what happened two weeks ago and that time till now, has him really considering something. Maybe he's ready to move on? Perhaps, even move away and deal with his job. What you've learned about girls is true. They are nothing but trouble, right? Being with me has caused you so much greif... I'm surprised you've stuck by me this long. My mind rushes with scenarios and they offer me no solice. After a short pause, Matthew seems to get a grip on his words and I turn to face him, placing a hand at his cheek.
"... I want to be with you... not just now." That is a complete bombshell. I never expected that. I may have been a little premature in my thinking that he'd want to take off and explore the district, maybe even leave me behind so that he can have full access to what our district has to offer him or take up the family business. I would let him, but he has put all that aside to say that he wants to be with me and not just now. Can he mean that he wants me even further into his future? A week maybe? A couple more months of bliss and happiness that may invade my life and make it worthwhile? It's my turn to question him, because he's done nothing but left my fingers shaking.
"You are with me? Unless, your talking about tomorrow or longer...?" I raise my eyebrows and let my fingers move slowly down his cheek at this point. Can he feel my shaking fingers? How is it that he's provoking this unknown feeling of fear? "...Matthew, I don't think I'd be able to live without you. What happened two weeks ago, I think... without you, I wouldn't be living at all. No matter what happens between us, I don't think I'll ever have the same feelings for anyone else like I do you."
My mind is completely numb to thinking straight. My words are coming straight from my heart and my actions are coming from nothing but my gut. Slowly, I close the distance between our lips and softly let mine touch his then pull away almost instantly. "I've said it before... as long as you want me to be with you, I will be there for you. Whenever you need me."
"Meaning, I don't want nothing else but you right now. No camp games or fishing or anything else. Just this feeling of being together, both of us?" I shrug cause I didn't know it would be that hard to explain. He seems to think that what I said meant that I don't want more from him. Yes, every girl dreams of the future, but with him, it just seems to fall into place every day of our lives. We've lived on the edge several times. We've split our seperate ways and dealt with some pretty serious things that has happened in our lives and that's possibly the entire reasoning as to why I don't want anything else to happen between us. I just want me and him to be happy and to enjoy what we've been given.
"I don't usually think about the future, maybe what I want to become... but not how I want to spend my life. I do think about us though..." My heartrate speeds up and at the next part of what he says has it skipping a beat. Nervousness appears and it takes my body by storm. I can't explain why all of a sudden, out of all the times I've been with Matthew, that I am getting nervous now?
What he mentions about his future, due to what happened two weeks ago and that time till now, has him really considering something. Maybe he's ready to move on? Perhaps, even move away and deal with his job. What you've learned about girls is true. They are nothing but trouble, right? Being with me has caused you so much greif... I'm surprised you've stuck by me this long. My mind rushes with scenarios and they offer me no solice. After a short pause, Matthew seems to get a grip on his words and I turn to face him, placing a hand at his cheek.
"... I want to be with you... not just now." That is a complete bombshell. I never expected that. I may have been a little premature in my thinking that he'd want to take off and explore the district, maybe even leave me behind so that he can have full access to what our district has to offer him or take up the family business. I would let him, but he has put all that aside to say that he wants to be with me and not just now. Can he mean that he wants me even further into his future? A week maybe? A couple more months of bliss and happiness that may invade my life and make it worthwhile? It's my turn to question him, because he's done nothing but left my fingers shaking.
"You are with me? Unless, your talking about tomorrow or longer...?" I raise my eyebrows and let my fingers move slowly down his cheek at this point. Can he feel my shaking fingers? How is it that he's provoking this unknown feeling of fear? "...Matthew, I don't think I'd be able to live without you. What happened two weeks ago, I think... without you, I wouldn't be living at all. No matter what happens between us, I don't think I'll ever have the same feelings for anyone else like I do you."
My mind is completely numb to thinking straight. My words are coming straight from my heart and my actions are coming from nothing but my gut. Slowly, I close the distance between our lips and softly let mine touch his then pull away almost instantly. "I've said it before... as long as you want me to be with you, I will be there for you. Whenever you need me."
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one