A World Unknown (Poco)
May 26, 2014 11:55:19 GMT -5
Post by arya on May 26, 2014 11:55:19 GMT -5
My heart kept on pounding as if I had been running a thousand miles. It almost hurt, and a part of my was scared that it wasn't going to bare the pressure. I'm ashamed to say it, but another part of me wished it could just give up already. A drop of blood dropped from my eyebrow and right into my eye. I started blinking over and over again to let it out. My tears hadn't stopped streaming down my face, and I wasn't sure they ever would. I could see Travis infront of me, and I knew I was supposed to feel ashamed. I was to scared to feel anything but fear, nothing else could fit into either my brain or body at that point. I had frozen completely again. I just stood there, breathing louder than ever. I stared into his eyes and realized how kind they were. Not at all like Jacks, not those brutal eyes that seemed to be following me whatever I did. His eyes didn't seem to leave my mind, even though it was the thing I wanted most of all. When I started walking towards the stream he was talking about, I could feel my entire body shaking. It made it hard walking, so I had to take it really slowly. I had to stop two times along the way, to vomit. I had already emptied my entire stomach, so I just puked some gastric.
I didn't care enough to stop by the side of the stream, I stepped into it without even removing my clothes. I pushed my head beneath the surface, washing of the blood from my face and as much as I could from my hair. A few minutes after I've gotten it all off, I started feeling it. A sudden humiliation. I hadn't only acted like a child, but I had also cried, vomited and got drenched in blood infront of Travis, about the first hour we met. I tried acting casual, but I knew I had to tell him eventually. I had to get it all out, if not for his sake then for mine. From nowhere, it all just bursted out of me. While sobbing loudly, much alike a little child once again the entire story came out in practicularly one sentence.
I couldn't help my impulse, I just ran up from the stream and right into his arms. I burried my head on his sholder, sobbing loader than ever. "I know this is super embarrassing but I'm so scared I don't want to go back. Ever" I cried. The moment I said it myself, I realized it. I had to go back. Sooner or later, I would have to go back. My family were starving as much as they were before. I didn't have a choice. I never felt that powerless, not in my 15 years of living. I sat down on the ground, pulling my body together in a little ball and hiding my face under my long, wet hair. I could picture it, all to well. I could see him smiling his victorious smile. He finally got it, he got the best of me. He'd been trying for years, but in the end he won. He got me down, and now he could mentally torture me. Piece by piece, he would destroy every single piece of me that was still left. He would destroy my well being, my innocence, my all. He would have me wrapped around his little finger. I would rather die than give him that satisfaction.
I didn't care enough to stop by the side of the stream, I stepped into it without even removing my clothes. I pushed my head beneath the surface, washing of the blood from my face and as much as I could from my hair. A few minutes after I've gotten it all off, I started feeling it. A sudden humiliation. I hadn't only acted like a child, but I had also cried, vomited and got drenched in blood infront of Travis, about the first hour we met. I tried acting casual, but I knew I had to tell him eventually. I had to get it all out, if not for his sake then for mine. From nowhere, it all just bursted out of me. While sobbing loudly, much alike a little child once again the entire story came out in practicularly one sentence.
I couldn't help my impulse, I just ran up from the stream and right into his arms. I burried my head on his sholder, sobbing loader than ever. "I know this is super embarrassing but I'm so scared I don't want to go back. Ever" I cried. The moment I said it myself, I realized it. I had to go back. Sooner or later, I would have to go back. My family were starving as much as they were before. I didn't have a choice. I never felt that powerless, not in my 15 years of living. I sat down on the ground, pulling my body together in a little ball and hiding my face under my long, wet hair. I could picture it, all to well. I could see him smiling his victorious smile. He finally got it, he got the best of me. He'd been trying for years, but in the end he won. He got me down, and now he could mentally torture me. Piece by piece, he would destroy every single piece of me that was still left. He would destroy my well being, my innocence, my all. He would have me wrapped around his little finger. I would rather die than give him that satisfaction.