You ain't seen the best of me yet - [Marr marr]

You ain't seen the best of me yet

Jeff Brown - District Two - Seventeen

"And who are we to question our masters?" I read in the book in front of me. "Who are our masters?" It says. It speaks to me. "Take hold of your chains." My eyes scan through the lines gracefully. "Break them, faster than the last time you tried." My eyes focus, tried. "And if you fail again, your next time will be better, and one day you'll reach your goal." I speaks to me, this book. It's Men's Health, a little book that's supposed to motivate you into further success. I've read it twenty times.

Alright, that was a lie, maybe just five.
The point still stands; I don't feel like I've broken those chains yet. My room is a nice shade of orange, my favorite colour, joint with blue. I'm leaning on my wall, sitting on my bed that rests next to it. I've been awake for two whole hours, and it's only eight in the morning so far. I fold over a page of the book and put it down. It's time to head upstairs, eat some carbs and get my energy levels up. If I want to train, I'd best be in the right shape to do it. It's like trying to fit a triangle into a square socket. With my dad no longer around, I have to be the one to make everyone breakfast. That's me, my sister and my mother who'll probably want it toast taken to her room upstairs. Mine is downstairs, but downstairs again; in the basement. It's only that way because it was an option, and I took it. I liked the idea of being down there, alone. I love my little family with all my heart, but it can't beat for them all of the time, sometimes you need to be alone. I head upstairs like I planned, dressed in my black sweatpants and no shirt, that's just how I like to go around. Nobody is up so nobody will mind. Not that they would, I'm a lad, so it doesn't affect them. If I were a girl, it would bewilder them. I don't know why, though, society confuses me. I put the toast in, and time it with the beans that need to go into the microwave. On the oven I put some bacon on. I know that my sister will want bacon in bread, not toast, so she'll be getting that.

Minutes later, the toast pops and the microwave pings. The smells are flowing through our small little house and I love it; it's the typical morning. I grab the plates and leave my sister's dish on the table, and head upstairs to knock on her door a couple of times. Instead of going in, because I don't need to remind her of the usual routine, I go to my mother's room. She's laying on the bed motionless, her white-grey hair all neat and tidy as she sleeps. She has no snore, she's always been so lovely like that; selfless. Even her unconscious mind doesn't want to disturb a fly. I think it's terrible what has happened over time to her, horrific. Nobody deserves to lose the person they love, to then have to depend on the rest that you love. It's truly hurtful to see her in such a state; but I never let her know that. she doesn't need to be reminded that she has become what I could hate to say, a liability. She's bedridden, and will be for a long time. I leave the plate next to her, because I know the smells will wake her up. Plus, it'll need to cool down a little.

Time for some me time. I've earned it, and that's how I like to keep it; earned. My time only comes after my family is fine. My sister will be heading to school, and she's learned to be quite independent since our father died. Our mother will have a carer coming later as well, scheduled for the time in which my sister leaves, so she'll be safe and sound. That means I have some time. I slip my t-shirt on and head out the house, right onto the dirt path that has no cars, nothing. It's just a little path into the woods, and about five minutes later I'm out into the other side and the road has trailed into a pavement. It joins to a road, which is never busy, and that road leads into town, where the rest of the world sleeps. It's nice and early out, and it makes me so happy so be free right now. Sometimes, you have to revel in the moments of freedom that come short in times of hardship.

Yes, I took that straight from that little book.

I open the doors to the gym and see a lot of dedicated careers roaming around, mincing for prey. I'm not here for that. We do share the similarity that we are all here for ourselves, but I'm not at all here for the reason as to kill somebody. I'm a miner, and the one thing I know is that if I don't train hard, I'll fall hard and end up like my father, whom I actually loved.

I take my shirt off simply because you can't really do shoulder and back exercises with it on; it'll tear or stretch. I wrap my hands around the bar, and I start to do my fair share of pull ups.