A Black Eye// (open)
Jun 4, 2014 16:26:14 GMT -5
Post by ミSailor彡 on Jun 4, 2014 16:26:14 GMT -5
❊ Oriana parks ❊
"Oooorrrriiiiiiiii"
I'm dreaming. I know it, but I can still hear my little brothers shouting my name from across our little home.
"Oooorrrrrriiiiii"
Please, just let me sleep a little longer...
"OOORRRRIIIII"
God damn it, Jax. I'm up!
I'm covered in sweat. My eyes barely crack open to see my two little brothers standing over me. Jax and Ezreal. Jax, the older one, has a huge grin spanning from ear to ear. Ezreal, on the other hand is rubbing his eyes and crying. I can barely make it out but when I do I sit up with an urgency. I grab Ezreal's hands and move them from his face.
A black eye?! Seriously, Jax?! Why do you do this to your brother?!
"It's not my fault. He banged his head on the door, he did!" Jax eagerly trying to climb out of trouble.
"Don't lie, Jax. You pushed me into the door. You did, you did. You shoulda seen it, Ori. He did it on purpose! He hates me!" Ezreal cried out as he jumped into my arms, sobbing into my shoulder.
I sigh loudly and pick Ezreal up off of me and sit him back down next to Jax. I cross my arms and just stare at them for a minute. How do I solve this? This is becoming an everyday thing. Jax is getting so violent, I just don't understand why. I try my best to keep the boys from watching the Games as much as I can. What am I doing wrong? I try to calm myself by convincing myself that boys will be boys but I can't help but feeling that I contributed to this. Just keep smiling, Oriana. That's the glue that keeps our family together. Smile, then everyone else will smile, and everyone will be happy. Right?
Where mum?
"She's outside tending the horses." Jax quietly says.
And dad?
"He said he was going to the town center. But he said not to tell you…" Ezreal says matter-o-factly.
Jax rears his open hand back and slaps Ezreal across the face.
"We weren't supposed to tell her that, ding dong!" Jax yells.
STOP.
They both immediately bring their eyes to me. Sitting indian-style on the floor next to my little, torn up cot. It's funny how they listen to me so well. They listen to me better than they do to mum, or even dad. Maybe it's because I'm the only one not too busy to deal with them. Or, I don't know. I love 'em. I wouldn't have it any other way.
"Don't yell at us, Ori. We're sorry. We won'ts fight no more." Ezreal says, poking out his upper lip.
It's okay. Just go play. I'm going to go for a walk.
---
I stumble out of my room and put my boots on. I need fresh air. I need something. I walk out into the bright sun. God, it's so hot. I feel like my flesh is melting off of my bones. I look to my right and see mum coming in and out of the barn. Just for today, I elude her vision. She'll ask me to help and normally I'm happy to, but I just need some time to myself today. I walk until I find a seemingly secluded try. It's near another small home, but no one has lived there for years. The family that was there slowly died off from hunger or disease. They weren't as lucky as my family. We still all have each other. Sometimes I forget how good we have it.
I sit down and just lean my head back. I hum to myself an old lullaby I made up for the boys when they were younger. It always puts me at ease. The boys have outgrown it, but I still love it. I don't think I'll ever stop loving it. It's one of the few things that make me feel… vulnerable. It doesn't sound like a feeling you'd want but I spend some much time being strong for the boys that sometimes I forget what it feels like. It's sad to say sometimes I miss it. I miss being able to show that I'm scared or show that I'm sad. But if I did our whole family would just crumble. So this is my moment, just hum and think. Rest my bones from all the smiling and holding back so much.
Just hum and think… It's nice.
Oriana Parks | 17 | District 10
"you can run away,
leave your books behind you.
but you should look back twice
just to be on the safe side."
"you can run away,
leave your books behind you.
but you should look back twice
just to be on the safe side."