play {with} magic ♚ open

The wind howls outside as I lie on top of the torn blankets that make up my bed, staring at the ceiling as the hours ticked by. I don't know what I am waiting for - there's nothing, really, to wait for. The Reapings are over and I am safe. Mama doesn't have to lose me. I don't have to lose Mama. I slept in her bed that night, my arms over her heart, protecting her. It was silly of me to think that one night, Mama's heart would stop beating, she would be ripped from me forever. But I am still worried nevertheless, and the fear controls my sleep and my thoughts in all my waking hours. I can never escape from the nightmare that is Mama's life, which I cherish, and am afraid of losing.

So I decide I will go for a walk. Maybe that will clear my mind. Or maybe I will bump into someone from the school, someone who dislikes me, or I dislike them. I have no such thing as friends in that school - they all hate me, and if they don't hate me, they ignore me so they will not be hated. I am just seen as the girl who gets shoved around in the corridors, the one whose books are knocked from her hands and the one who has hateful death threats shouted at her from across the courtyard every morning and afternoon. After school, the teachers don't care about verbal or even physical abuse. I've stopped counting the numbers of bruises littering my arms and legs, and probably under the clothes too, from where a punch to the stomach went especially bad.

All of these make up my pathetic life. Mama is the person keeping me sane, alive. If I'd been in that community home for orphans and abandoned children, I'd have killed myself years ago. To stop living with too many death threats, the painful blows to my body that make my eyes well with tears, guiding them to laugh even more. I remember one day in a class where the teacher went out the room for a minute and someone grabbed my arm and brought the ruler down...and down again...until my whole arm was as red as a tomato and they were all laughing, laughing at me...

At least today I could distract myself. It was Mama's birthday, and I wanted to get her something special from, perhaps the bakery or something. I wasn't sure if the little money I'd saved up and the money she'd given me to aid me should I need it. I walk past the apothecary and smile at the person at the counter. I am quite familiar with the staff at the apothecary as I need to get medicine for Mama. She's got an illness, not a serious one like Papa had, but she still needs to be treated with medicine.

I didn't need medicine today - we were fully stocked with them in our medicine cupboard in the bathroom, the oh-so familiar room, with our wooden bathtub and wooden toilet and everything was made from wood because we are District 7. Trees. Wood. People make it seem like that's the only thing we focus on all the time, and in a way it is, because all around us are trees, wood, leaves, the colour green, the colour brown and everything...at least in autumn the district is pretty. The leaves falling to the ground, beautiful, different shades of reds and browns and greens. The colours of nature shine through in autumn, and that is why it's my favourite season.

I smile at the thought of the leaves in autumn, but my smile falters when I see who is rounding the corner. A group of boys and girls from my school are there, laughing and shoving each other playfully, unlike they do to me. The girls play with their hair then the boys at the front spot me, and they're laughing and running towards me and I'm frozen in my spot and oh, oh no, this is bad, this is bad...

Then the largest one grabs me by my shirt. At this sudden movement, my shirt lifts a few centimetres, revealing a bit of my stomach. The boys prod at me while the girls giggle and are clearly admiring their strength. The boys look smug as the largest one pulls me back down so he's looking down at me. "You're a bit thin, Leonice. Sure you've been eating properly? Or has that psycho mother of yours been stealing your attention so you can't feed yourself?" They all laugh and he releases me and I step back. I'm so offended because they've insulted Mama and no one insults Mama...but since they saw me buying medicine for her they've assumed she's mental.

"Shouldn't she be in a mental asylum? I'm sure she's too dangerous to be in District 7. Maybe they should ship her off to the Capitol." The boys grinned and the largest one is still looking down at me, only this time I'm further away. I never realize I am stepping away from them until I bump into one who has rushed behind me. I turn around and they're closing in on me, and I'm the smallest there. I am up to the shortest boy's shoulders, and it's like it's a tower building around me, ready to collapse. "And they can take you with them. No one wants to see your ugly, bony face around here anymore." They laugh and smack each other on the back in the way that boys do.

The girls are still giggling and playing with their hair and trying to attract the boy's attention. They're horrible, the lot of them, just wanting to get an attractive boyfriend. "Say something, then, weakling, before I make you!" the largest boy says, and his hand is on my sides, holding me still while they all gather around me. "Just...just stop it!" I shout desperately, trying to claw at them with my nails to get them away. I need to get away, get Mama's present and go home. Or just run home and get the present another day. No. I don't want another run-in with these people. Now they're laughing again, and one of them punches me in the stomach, making me double over and grab it in pain. Another holds me still while the rest start to attack my face.

Before I know it, my nose is in agony and blood gushes from it, my lip is cut at the side, blood just trickling from it...I'm a mess, and I'm sure I have a black eye too. "Why don't you try saying something else, weakling? How about some begging?" I force myself to meet his eye and then I give in to it. If he wants me to beg for my life, I will. Because who else will buy Mama her medicine? Braid her hair in the morning in front of the mirror? Help her get out of bed and into bed? "P-Please..." They are still punching me, and clawing at my skinny legs with whatever bit of nails they have that can still cut. One of them even lifts my skirt up to cut closer to my hip. I try to bat his hand away but one of them tugs my hand back and forces it behind my back. "S-Stop..."

"What was that?" the largest one asked, pretending not to hear. I know he did hear. "If you want us to stop, why didn't you say so at the start?" he grinned. Then they let me go and it was all over just like that, my skirt falling back down to my knees and I immediately fell to the ground, my legs trembling under my skinny weight. They laugh as they watch me on the ground, helpless, then walk away. I grab the ground even though it offers no support, and I feel my legs and arms and everywhere they punched and kicked and scratched at me, and when I lift my hand blood is everywhere. No one other than the girls were watching them beat the crap out of me.

Maybe I'll have to go home now. Maybe I'll have to let Mama take care of me like she did when I was a little girl. I try to stand up, but stumble. I swear one of them delivered a too-hard kick to the ankle and now it was broken or sprained or twisted. It was hard to walk on my right leg. Every time I try it clicks and it spreads more pain through my body. I fall back to the ground. The apothecary is about twenty metres away. But that walk seems too far with this. But I definitely have to try.

Slowly, I inch myself up, the pain throbbing through my legs and arms as I force myself up. Then I begin to hobble towards the apothecary, praying nobody sees me in this state.