Taming The Beast [Kiah]

How had it gotten so dark so quick? Why now? why? My heart begin to race like a bird trapped in a cage, sweat beginning to form on my forehead. I couldn't do this. It was too dark. Where was the light? the street, where was the light? My breathe becomes shallow and my fingers shake so hard that I can barely hold them still at all. I needed light, I needed something that would take me away from the darkness, I couldn't handle this darkness. Someone, anyone help. I am so scared. It only takes a matter of time before I can even think straight, my thoughts jumping all over the place like a game of some art of twisted leap frog was going on up in my mind. I clutch my hands to my head, my teeth biting down hard on my tongue. I taste blood. Slowly I realise my clamp on my tongue my hands resulting into digging my nails into the flesh of my arms. Pain strikes me and all I can so is give a small grunt, digging my nails in deeper until I know that they broken the flesh, small beads of blood coming around my ingrained nails.

Tears form in my eyes and I feel like i can barely breathe. I was always so careful so why hand I been today? Why had I screwed up today and found myself in a place where not even a street lamp was lit? I need to calm down. I need to gain control. I need to stop hurting myself- thats what the shrink had said, yes? Easy for that bitch to say, it wasn't like she was actually enduring my fits of fear. Hastily I give my head a shake and run my teary gaze around me. But I could see nothing, nothing but the darkness that was encasing me, that was embracing me in its presence. “Get back! Leave me alone! Get back!” My voice is laced with fear, echoing off the buildings that i presume surrounded me. I couldn't see them, all I could see was the darkness, all I could feel was my nails digging into my arm. I Look down, blood dribbles around my arms dropping like red rain onto the pavement on which I stood.

"Hey there. Why walk alone at dark? There could be killers on the loose.”

The voice comes from no where- was it inside my head? Just my imagination? The hairs on the back of my neck begin to stand and I release my tight grasp on my arm, blood flowing a little bit stronger but not strong enough to be a serious injury. killers on the loose. Killers? Wasn't I one of those? I had killed a man once, with my own two hands, I don't remember doing it exactly, but I had, because darkness makes me do crazy thing. Things that I cant control with my moral sense. “Stay back! Stay away from me please, I don't want any trouble.” My voice is wild as I swing around in circles trying to pinpoint where the voice came from, but all I could see was the darkness, please, please lave me alone.

"Too bad little girl. Trouble has found you.” This person, they didn't understand. They didn't get it. They couldn't be near me because to be near me meant danger. I wasn't scared of them, I knew that I could take care of myself… but more, i was scared for them because the fear that was consuming my body whole was an unyielding one. Ones that had already let these shaking hands to be covered in blood once before. I had to keep them clean, tonight, and forever. “Plase, please stay away,” I beg the boy. I an tell he is a boy fro his deep taunting voice, from the way he cis me thinking that I am the one in danger, when I guess I am as much as him. Ripping my nails from my arm I feel blood- warm against my cold skin- begin to ooze from the wounds that I had inflicted upon myself. The pain made me feel better, it made me forget the never ending darkness which tried to consume me and take me away from this earth- and I didn't want to eave, I was scared to leave because what existed out there for me? Nothing, oohing but more never ending darkness.

I hated darkness, I hated it so much.

Fear begins its climb. Dashing up my legs making them freeze, finding my arms which hug me tightly. My eyes widen and all i can think about is death and how his darkness was going to kill me- slowly, making sure I feel each and every strike it will summon upon my body, before dragging me into the depths of burning hell. Because that is where you went if you were to kill someone, to hell. You burn with the beasts, your flesh melting from your skin and saturating your bones.

"Lucky I'm not dangerous.” He is in front of me now, my terrified eyes looking straight into his. “Why don't you follow me for a moment? Maybe if I knew who you were, I could help you get home safely.” He had to step back, or I had to step away. He had to get away from e before the fear had control per my whole body, before I tried to rip his throat out like I did that other guys. I didn't even know his name… I didn't want to know his name. He has one of his dark eyebrows raise and I could see the frustration in his eyes that makes it even more uncomfortable. Words threaten to slip past my lips but before I can he grabs one of my hands and starts to drag me away. I don't hear the next words that slip from his lips because a new voice has weaselled its way into my mind. He is going to kill you. In the darkness he is going to kill you. You have to stop him because you are mine. You belong to me, to darkness, your old friend. I ad to sot him.

“Stop! STOP!” I scream at the boy,trying to rip my hand from his. His hold seemed to burn into my skin, like his hand was lit on fire. “Let me go! Let me go! I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't want to be hurt! Please!”

It seemed like it was getting darker, if that was even possible. He is going to kill you in the darkness. No. No i wont let him.

Suddenly I lash out at him, my hands, which were covered in blood, my blood go for his face in attempts to break free.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I couldn't think straight, my mind sliding and jumping and dashing all over the place. All I could feel was the burn of his skin against my wrist. All I could see was darkness, my eyes not allowing me even to see the features of his face, just a pale sheet. I choke a scream. I couldn't stand it, I couldn't stand looking at a face with nothing on it. No eyes no mouth not lips no nothing, it was like someone had wiped it all clean. My breathes come out in ragged gasps as I try to calm down, the fingers of my free hand closing down on the flesh near where his eye would be if you could actually see it. “Get away get away,” I chant in quick succession, I wouldn't be surprised if the guy thought I was cray because I was sure acting like one lunatic.

I dig my fingers into the flesh of his face, knowing that I I was to draw blood. I don't let go though, not until he pushes my hand away from his face, with a frustrated sigh. I see him wipe his face, dots of red appearing on the pale plate of nothingness. He pulls away and I only wish that he would leave because his skin was growing so bright, so bright that I could barely even stand to look at him for another moment. I know I wanted light, I wanted light more than anything in the work right now- but this? This alien sort of shit was not what I was talking about. “Just get off me!”

Finally I am free and I scramble back from his, putting more than an arms length of distance between him and myself. "You drew blood on me. Impressive.” My eyes narrow as his face begins to clear up slightly, a mouth forming, eyes becoming clear. My heart begins to calm down, the pounding in my chest become a little less insistent.

I say nothing.

“I apologize for the blood on you.” My eye browns knit into a frown. Why was he apologising for the blood on me? It was not like he ha inflicted it. And people said I was weird. “I promise you I mean no harm." He says and takes a cautious step forward. Bullshit, I think to myself, mirroring his step, only instead I move back wards. We halt. He stares at me and I stare at him, the darkness just a mere presence at the moment. He makes a movement with his hand, like he is about to reach out and touch me and I recoil so fast that I am sure I would have strained a muscle is in any other circumstance. “What the hell- stay back!” I bark at him, my hands moving out in front of me, ready for to attack if he took another movement towards me, or anything that resembled it. I was not scared of him, he was nothing compared to the fear that Darkness made swim deep within my veins. “Stay back!” I scream one more time, my left hand snaking into the pocket of my jeans where I whip out a small pocket knife, the blade no larger than my index finger.

“Wha-what do you want from me?” I ask not to kindly. I needed to get out of here. I needed light, I need to go home.

It happened once.

The darkness took me in his hands and pulled me away from the body that I called my home. He made me do things that I would never do, he made me kill a man with hands that were always so clean, hands that had never had the blood of another were covered until not even a patch of skin was left clean. Yes my hands had been covered in blood before, they had been coated but it was not the blood of another but a the blood that belonged to me. So when the darkness had corrupted my soul into taking the life of another I woke up hands a glove of red, eyes wide and fearful. 

Thats why I needed the light. That is why I had to get out of here. That is why this boy had to just get off my case.

His eyes travel over the wound on my arm and I try to tuck it out of view, not wanting this stranger to think I was weak because I wasn't and she should be scared even though I didnt look all that scary to be honest but I had killed someone before, and from what I can tell the guy had been a big guy, one who had muscles coating his body- how had I managed to take him down? I had darkness. Darkness owned by body at the time and inside cowered a girl, one who cried and begged for it all to be over. Light, I begged for light, but light never came.

"You have blood on you. You asked what I want from you right? I want to kill whoever caused you harm." wait what? A flurry of questions run through my mind and I am tempted to take a step back because that was one bold confession. He wanted to kill someone for hurting me? A person he didn't even know- what was wrong with him? Was this normal behaviour? A frown slips onto my forehead and I begin to hake my head furiously. "No- no no no no no! There will be no need for that! Death.... death is so unsightly and unnecessary especially for something like this," words escape my lips in one huge breath and suddenly I didnt feel so sacred beging out here in the darkness because my mind was distracted, my body was no longer thinking about the never ending mysteries but slightly outraged by this mans request.  

"Its not like that anyways." I add looking to the ground, my uninjured arm moving across my body so that my fingers could careful covered the small wounds that painted my skin. I was scared again. My mind no longer focused on the guy but on myself. The fear welled up within me like a storm and I had to almost dig my fingers into my skin once again to distract myself. "Its not what you think- Its none of your business." I conclude, looking at my feet.