~Lycra Mae~ District E i g h t {Done}

Name:

Lycra Mae

Age:

18

Gender:

Female

District:

8

He's not a retard.

He's my brother.

Something about the way he seemed so lively as they watched the toy train zip by made her stomach churn, because he was cheated; gypped- born to never know the finer pleasures in life. How someone could be so joyful when it came to being ignorant- even if it was him- she did not know. In fact, she wondered why it had to be him; and not her-  his cerulean, vacuous eyes staring at anything but hers; lopsided smile revealing yellowed teeth, and his straw-blonde hair in disarray. "Eyeh-creeh!" He squealed out her name sloppily as the miniature locomotion whipped by for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Eyeh-creeh!" The boy was bouncing up and down; pleased with his brand-new plaything. Only God knew how long he'd stay engrossed in something so plastic and simplistic, but anyone who knew this kid would bet that it wouldn't be for long, despite how much was spent to obtain it.

Kid. Boy. Child. These words swirled upon her tongue like a forbidden dance. He was twenty-four years old, and yet all he could muster up expression-wise was pure euphoria, fright, and a vacant look that those who did not know him like his twin sister would call retarded. She was merely eighteen, but he was 'special'. Nothing more and nothing less, because he did not deserve to be categorized by his individuality; by his differences.

"It makes you happy, doesn't it?" Lycra's pink lips parted slightly as she questioned the distracted boy. No reply. "I got it just for you, Lodan." He simply grinned widely and flapped his arms like some kind of bird, stomping his feet on the rotted wood floor, snot and spit flying from his nose and mouth as he made airplane noises and raised the family's trademark thick, dark brows like some kind of flag. What a silly little boy; a goofy grown man sitting in the living room of his mother's home- one that refused to acknowledge his presence. Perhaps it was denial, the teen thought sourly. After a good two decades, that old crone still couldn't cope with the fact that he would never be everyone else- that this was reality; he would be playing with trains, planes, building blocks, sticks, insects, rodents, cats, dogs- all of this for the rest of his life.

She had to cook. She had to clean. She had to teach- make ends meet financially by sewing, all while juggling a mentally-challenged individual and a woman with Diogenes. Oh, but Lycra was failing so miserably. Her father had abandoned them all- leaving everything: sewing tools and his many fabrics along with all of his clothes- like he just got up one day in the middle of the night and started walking- and never stopped to think about what he was leaving behind. But, she couldn't even blame him. He had so much to gain by going. So much to gain by having a little girl do a man's job, because once Mother realized he wasn't coming back, she never did anything else from then on- but harass and hurt her brother because the anger needed to be let out.

And she learned quickly that she couldn't cook. Lodan refused to eat whatever she cooked because it was utterly disgusting; becoming so skinny that if one lifted up his shirt, you could count all his ribs like one did the stars at night- they were both like that, because stomaching what she ate took a strong person. Her small, thin frame couldn't handle that abuse, needless to say.. And she couldn't clean- it was futile because of her mole of a mother who lived and breathed to do nothing but complain about what they should have, or what they could of had- a pessimist of the highest degree. And you know what else she found out? She couldn't teach. Her brother was about to be in his mid-twenties and he was still in diapers. She couldn't teach him the alphabet or numbers because she hardly knew them herself.

And she most certainly couldn't make ends meet by sewing, because she had been fired by the Main Factory after she had to bring Lodan to work because she couldn't trust his own mother to take care of him. The hostile atmosphere, the cold looks- he lasted a good few minutes before breaking down and pissing all over the floor, blubbering and sniffling about the roar of the engines.

Every now and then- yes, she feels like leaving; disappearing like her father did, because it isn't worth it- there's no payoff to her. All of her life she has tried to be the bigger person and take responsibility, but she's still just a scared. Little. Girl- trying to pretend that she's a woman and has the strength and will-power to take care of her family. Always there for them, but no one is ever there for her; leaving Lycra feeling a little bit more than insecure and soft-spoken, craving the interaction with any other human beings besides her family. She's not the perfect daughter or sister- she never will be.

Everyone knows about them- why she's never without those dark, tired circles around her eyes. And, they avoid her for the same reason. Who wants to be  associated with a retard and a recluse? No one- she wanted someone to love her like she loved her family so very bad. And she's too stubborn- to say she needs help. She's been too independent, and has never been given the option- the ability- to turn to someone else for aid.

Yet, she loves the feeling of being there for them, no matter how many times she may deny it. Because of their existence and presence inside her home, noshe is not alone. If they were gone as well, there would be no reason to carry on. Lodan- Oh God, this boy- he deserves more than the hand he was dealt as a child. And, she will provide not because she has to, but because she loves this boy. Her little boy.

She dropped out of school, lost her job- those were her decisions, and to say that they did this to her? It would be so wrong. So unfair- to blame them for what she did.

"Eye-creeh!" It took another one of his screams to make her go completely soft, embracing him as he calmed down. "Eye-creeh..." Yes, this is what she chose for her life. No one made her do this. No one could. She was a strong girl that made a big decision that changed her life forever, and no one could take that away from her.

Because this is true love.

 He's not a retard.