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cipher

He flipped open the note book, glancing warily around before pulling out a pencil and setting it to paper. The words he wrote didn't look like words, but they had all the meaning in the world.

Aopz pz aol upuao khf vm bzpun aopz uld jvkl. Uv vul'z jvtl jsvzl av jyhjrpun
^{[This is the ninth day of using this new code. No one's come close to cracking]}
aopz vul, aohur Ypwylk - P mpuhssf nva xbpjr ha dypapun dpao pa. Hufdhf,
^{[this one, thank Ripred - I finally got quick at writing with it. Anyway,]}
avkhf dhz hu hsypnoa khf P nblzz. P zhd aoha npys, aol vul P dyval hivba shza
^{[today was an alright day I guess. I saw that girl, the one I wrote about last]}
dllr, iba zol kpku'a zll tl. Pa'z avv tbjo av ouwl mvy ypnoa uvd P nblzz. Thfil P'ss-
^{[week, but she didn't see me. It's too much to hope for right now I guess. Maybe I'll-]}

He dropped the pencil and snapped the notebook shut as footsteps came to his door. It was completely out of sight - hidden under his mattress - by the time one of her sisters stuck her head past the door. He glared at her, wondering what was important enough for her to disturb him. "Dinner!" Food, apparently, but food wasn't enough to draw him away from writing in his diary note log. It certainly wasn't enough to get him to leave his journal note log when his sister might try to find it. Secrets were important to him, not to mention it would also mean changing his hiding spot for the fourteenth time this year. "Go away." And she did, turning and leaving him to his codes. If his family hadn't realized by now that he was adamant about things like this then they weren't really his family. Besides, they all had their quirks.

Digging under his bed to retrieve his note book, he flipped open to where he was writing and continued on.

- wba h svjr vu aopz kvvy. P ohal dolu aolf jvtl huk pualyybwa tl. Pa'z uva lcly
^{[- put a lock on this door. I hate when they come and interrupt me. It's not ever]}
mvy hufaopun ptwvyahua.
^{[for anything important.]}

That wasn't entirely true, or fair, but he didn't care about the accuracy of it. It was how he felt, and that was why he wrote it in a secret note book in a code. There was no way he could let anyone read about his feelings or his thoughts, they were too private - too much of a secret - for him to trust anyone else with them. It was in that note book that he had written about when Pandora, his cousin, had been reaped. He had been much younger then but even at that age he had been using codes and hidden diaries note books to get rid of his feelings somewhere private. Of course, the loss of Pandora was not as much of a heartfelt loss for him as for his aunt and uncle, and his parents. He had just hated seeing them all so sad. Still, there was no way he could let them know. Feelings were too painful to share, and were best kept to himself.

The eraser end of the pencil was quickly put to his lips as he thought, his teeth squeezing the rubber absently. Many of the things he wrote with had teeth marks on one end, and it was a habit he was never fully aware of until one of his siblings or parents reminded him to stop. In truth, he found that it helped him to think and so he would ignore any warnings about "lead poisoning" - he was smart enough to know that it wasn't lead in pencils anymore, but graphite - and continue to chew.

Once more he placed pencil to paper and wrote, taking a bit more time to write with less emotional bias. He had to write what he thought - it was why he wrote in these diaries note books anyway - but he also had to remember not to stretch it too much. Besides, he did remember when he was told about the deaths of his cousins. First was Pandora, but then was Hope who was only a little older than he was when she died. Last was Rubik, whose death was both the most and the least startling, at least for him. He had always had a sense that his eldest cousin was a little unsettled by Pandora's death and then Hope's death left him completely unhinged. He wondered how Hitchcock was faring, so long after he had lost his last sibling.

Lejlwa mvy dolu aolf avsk tl hivba Whukvyh, huk Ovwl, huk Ybipr. Vul khf thfil dl
^{[Except for when they told me about Pandora, and Hope, and Rubik. One day maybe we]}

jhu zavw ohcpun h mhtpsf tltily pu aol Nhtlz. Vy ha slhza sla aolt dpu zv dl kvu'a
^{[can stop having a family member in the Games. Or at least let them win so we don't]}

ohcl av svzl aolt. Pa'z h spaasl ohyk mvy tl av jshpt P ylhssf ruvd tf mhtpsf - P
^{[have to lose them. It's a little hard for me to claim I really know my family - I]}

nlulyhssf ayf av hcvpk aolt, aolf vusf lcly dhua av ylhk tf kphyf uvalz huk
^{[generally try to avoid them, they only ever want to read my diary notes and]}

pa ivaolyz tl - iba P zapss jhyl. Rpukh. Hufdhf, P ohal av zll doha pa kvlz av
^{[it bothers me - but I still care. Kinda. Anyway, I hate to see what it does to]}

lclyfvul lszl lclu pm P kvu'a mlls tbjo tfzlsm. P't uva jvtwslalsf olhyaslzz, P
^{[everyone else even if I don't feel much myself. I'm not completely heartless, I]}

nblzz, P qbza wylmly jvklz huk zftisz av wlvwsl.
^{[guess, I just prefer codes and symbols to people.]}

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