more than friends [Haikou]

It's boiling in here. I stare at the row of clothes -or should I say rags- lined up on my bed and I shut my eyes tightly. I live in a big house with sentries and Capitolite clothes. I opened my eyes and the 'clothes' just continued staring back up at me in mockery. I shut my eyes again. These clothes are a variety of colours, red, purple, orange, yellow, white and they're all clean and I have a bigger selection. These aren't ragged T-shirts; they're brand new. I allowed my eyes to flicker open and the T-shirts were still all the same, ragged, torn and all the same colours, either brown, green, red or white. There was no golden like my hair, there was no blue like the colour of my eyes, just those same colours.

It never works.

I'd heard somewhere that if you think about something really hard, if you really put your mind to it, if you really want it then you can have it. But that never seemed to happen - I could never get that big house or those nice clothes that would put even Azea's top shame. I bite my lip as I scan through the T-shirts - honestly I don't know what to choose, they're all equally terrible. I scratch the back of my head either way I don't think any of them would be satisfactory. It's a shame to admit but it's true.

I find the brightest shirt, the red one, and throw it over my head and slip the cleanest looking pair of shorts I can find. I grabbed the brush I sitting by my bed and brushed so vigorously I thought I'd tear my own hair out. Knots are never good to have I learned quickly enough, no matter how clean or nice your hair is tangled and knotted hair is always a deal-breaker. I never used to care so much about my appearance before I met her. Hah, it's weird how friends can influence you.

I took off quickly, leaving my -house- to go and meet Azea. Whenever I went to meet her I always had that extra spring in my step, as if I was rushing to meet her. I walked through the woods for almost an hour before I finally got to her house. She said this time, this is when she'd be alone. Steeling my nerves I quickly knocked at the door with my fist - even that knock must've hinted at my nervousness. Damn it! I don't get nervous!

I stopped mentally cursing myself as soon as she opened the door with that mind melting smile plastered onto her face. "Hi."

I almost didn't hear her.

"Hi, i-is it okay if I come in?" I asked, sounding as confident as ever I think.

WC:461

It's like living in a blissful dream.

It's completely surreal; I've never set foot in this house before and it's so different, so unique. It's a freakin' mansion compared to my 'house' I guess house would be too generous - but it's still home. I'd kill to live in a house like this. Even though this place is still quite small compared to mine it's perfect, but then again all houses are perfect compared to mine, but this house feels and looks like more than just a bunch of wooden walls stood up to keep people warm. I don't know what it was about it but it just seemed almost perfect.

It's because she's standing right there.

If she wasn't there it would just be another empty room but with more space. If Azea wasn't standing right there, looking at me it wouldn't be any better than home, it would just be bigger. And I wouldn't be feeling this tingling excitement wiggling it's way up my spine and flooding my brain. It's making my blood circulate and my heart pump at about a million miles per hour uncontrollably.

Truth be told, I have no idea what we were going to do today. I had no plan, plenty of fantasies but no real security or knowledge of what the hell I was doing here or wanted to do here. I was just standing there, a statue, mute and unmoving. If I was smarter I would've known what I wanted to do, what I wanted us to do but I just didn't - I was acting like I had no tongue. Just breathe in and out. It couldn't possibly be that hard, breathing that is - I do it everyday and yet it seemed harder in his room, like this was some sort of airless vacuum.

Just be cool Cy. I bit my lip slightly as I thought of the words that I was going to say. I took one step towards her, urged on by the intense thumping in my chest, as if it willed me to go one step at a time. "I dunno," thump! thump! My haise were warm, no they were hot."But there's so much we could do, literally anything." thump! thump! I'd gotten so close to her I was almost nose to nose with her. She was so close but never too close. "S-so much..." I finished, unwilling to let my gaze falter.

Thump! Thump!

Notes: Let's get this train rolling.

We are snapped back into reality by her cat's stupid, constant meowing. I feel as if everything is coming crashing down around me all because of a stupidly hungry cat. And to make everything even worse Azea completely forgets about me and goes on to comfort her hungry cat, she scoops it up and turns her attention on her cat, leaving me feeling completely deflated and annoyed at the same time. "You'd think I hadn't fed her in days the way she meows at me in the mornings." She explains, chuckling at me as she walks away to feed her cat. Don't feed her in days if it means it will leave us alone.

And now I'm left alone in the living room and I'm grinding my teeth so hard I think they'll turn into dust.

I'd never really understood her connection to that cat; it's just an animal after all. It's not a person, it's not a family member despite the fact she treats it so much so. It's just a cat. But maybe this is how other people feel when they see my unexplainable, deep bond with Otis. Maybe that's the case with bonds in general, they develop so easily and so quickly they're unexplainable.

Azea walks back into the room after feeding Shiva but I'm still frustrated. The mood was snuffed out the moment that cat meowed. "Maybe I could show you my book collection?" She asks suddenly which even takes me aback. Truth be told I'd never really been much for books, I never enjoyed school or when my teachers made us read long books, especially when I had to read it out loud.

"Books aren't exactly my thing," I answer softly, "you don't want to just talk?

Notes: Let's get this train rolling.