Safe Haven 2.0 (Star's WIP Posts) *UC*

My footsteps hit the grassy floor like a snake stalking its prey; starting out like slow, lengthy strides and soon it  picked up into frantic sprint- as if I had become the prey with mere couple of steps.

Dreams were unrealistic; impractical; illogical and utterly unattainable ambitions that; I used to look up to for some sort of guidance in my life. Gazing up to the sky; praying and begging on the stars that, like all the other children, I would have a chance to be normal- a word so ironic; so contradictory because we were all so different; varying like unrelenting snowfall on the most austere, unmercifully brisk days of Panem.

I had so many dreams.

And they all scattered like stardust the day my father walked out of my life; leaving me as a victim to a honed sword dubbed responsibility- this obligation asphyxiating me with a heavy hand deemed duty.  he left his little baby He never seemed displeased with us, our demons. The reason why we were so cohesively dysfunctional; plagued by anything and everything that made us outcasts both socially and mentally. Rejects to the public eye. Repudiated by all who were never accepted themselves; it seemed unbearable like fair living conditions. But he just could not be fucking happy and accept this life with open arms like we were forced to do. He left. He left. He left. He left me.

But no matter how much I think about that day, I can't seem to be angry about it. Because he knew he couldn't handle a retarded man beautifully special little boy that was strangled by an umbilical at birth and a reclusive bitch wife, or whatever I was. His sudden exit out of our lives was not cowardice, but realization; that he would never be able to cope with this- this disease that was us. Had to be us. Why did it have to be us?

And he had me pick up where he left off: with a choice at the end of District Eight. Because I was standing right where he left me- where he left all of us.

The. Fence.

I could've turned back- I want to turn back, but I just can't. My right hand angrily grips the fence, then my left. He left me. He left me. He left me. I think I cut myself a bit when I went over, but I really don't mind much. Adrenaline is pumping through me like Morphling.

And, as a glance back, I realize that I'm free.

Did I really just climb out of my District? Am I dreaming? My heart pounds wildly against my chest.

I'm free.

And I just kept walking- no, I just kept running.

To the forest. To anything.