solstice merill [f i n i s h e d]

sydmc Seam Resident 11 POSTS last seen Jul 29, 2015 20:40:22 GMT -5 Noob	solstice merill [f i n i s h e d] Jul 13, 2014 22:17:25 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sydmc on Jul 13, 2014 22:17:25 GMT -5 solstice merill 17 district 6 codeword: odair face claim: tessa violet WIP
	Last Edit: Jul 15, 2014 19:29:33 GMT -5 by sydmc

sydmc
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solstice merill [f i n i s h e d] Jul 15, 2014 19:28:58 GMT -5

Post by sydmc on Jul 15, 2014 19:28:58 GMT -5

My quick feet hit the floorboards, each step echoing throughout the cabin. Snores erupted from the shut doors on both sides of the hallway, as I fumbled my key ring until my shaky fingers pried a key from the metal. It had a circular end that was dry and rusy. I pushed the key into the lock and flicked my wrist to open the lock, my opposite hand yanking the handle outwards and exposing the space inside. It wasn't much of a room, more like a closet or a place where you could hide during hide and go seek. I pulled the broom from the unit and slammed the door behind me not caring anymore; all the passengers were off the train anyway.

The stars gleamed through the fogged windows and were somewhat blinding, but provided a nice source of light for my cleaning. I pressed my fingers into the broom as I carried it through the halls. Once reaching the dining hall, I cradled the cap of the wood part on the broom with my dry palms and brushed the floors. The floors were steel matching the rest of the train and I thought they were ugly. Metal itself is ugly, but it’s only because all I’ve ever seen was metal. I grew up with steel and rubber. The whiskers tickled the floors, under each mahogany table and in all the corners. Crumbs were embedded between the plates of steel, and were often difficult to get out and probably the worst part of cleaning the room. I slanted my back, and crouched down, using my fingernails to pick the crumbs of sour-dough from the cracks. The room was cluttered and messy, but it was the most visited room on the train and I don’t know what I really expect from it. A shiny metal piece was left on one of the tables; I quickly swiped the locket from the wood and pushed it down my pocket.

I looked through the window at the scenery, the sky was smog-covered and the hills were dead. We were close to the central of the district, close to home. I wandered back to the room, unlocking the door steadily this time, and pushing the broom back inside. On the top shelf was a wooden box, with a key-hole. I pulled my necklace forward, ripping it off my neck and inserting it into the hole. Turning it slightly to the right, and pulled the top of the chest up. I took all the contained items and threw them into my pocket as well. Not knowing where else I was needed, I slumped myself over to the front of the train. Each footstep was loud and eerie against the steel, my pocket was quite heavy now but I didn’t have any way else to put the items I had stolen from the people on the train.

The sun peaked over the tip of the hills, providing little daylight and a new day. It was summer but no one could tell, the downpour was often and the skies were greyer than they already were. There were no more passengers to wake as the train passed by small buildings signifying we were basically back. The train would stop in a few minutes once we reached the station, I’d get my pay and I’d go home until it was my turn to ride along which wouldn’t be for a while. Brown tangled strands of my hair fell against my cheeks, as my ponytail was coming un-done. I pulled the rubber band (that I stole from the passengers) from my hair, and a mess of scratchy hair fell onto my shoulders.

The train came to an expected stop, and I pulled myself towards the nearest exit excited to inhale real air and step on real ground. I don’t really care how shitty and cliché that sounded because it’s what I want, being on a train for a few weeks is horrible and the worst part about living here in district 6. I hate trains, I’d so rather work my ass off in the burning sun all day collecting vegetation then clean a train all night and become a slave to people that waste their money on trains. I wish that trains didn't exist, and that that instead of trains everyone just walked everywhere.The conductor and all the other people on the train got off before me, and my feet hit the ground with a click. The doors behind me started to shut themselves, by the time they were closed completely I had disappeared into the land.

My feet dug into the mud, you could tell it had rained previously for the mud was fresh and the clouds above were still gray resembling the color of a cloudy night in the winter. The store, was notorious for being very messy. You could tell that by looking at it from a mile away, the outside had brown paneling and cracked windows sitting up by the roof. I pulled open the door quickly not wanting to change my mind about the place. The lady who worked there was a mother of two, and looked as if she were in her forties. Her hair was black and curled down to her shoulder blades, providing some protection for when the sun was beating down on the district which was rare. Her skin used to be like mine, pale and freckled on the face. After she started on morphling, she changed tremendously. Her eyes become large like a cartoon and the hue of her skin leaned towards yellow.

I waved at the clerk,trying not to stare and waste the manners I was taught. “Hi, I’d like to trade in these items please.” She nods weakly as I pour out the items, "Pretty girl." She croaks, "Boys must flock to you with your curves and smile." I bit my lip as I emptied my pockets, she acted like I was the prettiest girl in district six which of course I wasn't. I wasn't curvy at all, and being too short to reach the top shelf at home wasn't really a good thing. After I spilled my collectibles onto the counter I did a quick check for everything. To my remorse I had one less item than before, but there was nothing left to do now. There was a metal locket, a package of crackers, a fairly large stamp with a picture of the Panem flag, and finally a postcard with a picture of a famous Capitol attraction stamped on the front. It was barely enough for a loaf of bread from my calculations but maybe i'll get something better out of it. She takes the items and throws them onto the shelf behind her. “Can I have a loaf of bread in return please?” She nods solemnly and extends her arms behind her again to grab the one lone loaf of sourdough sitting in the corner of the shelf and tosses it into my hands. “Thank you!” I waved quickly and awkwardly. "I'll be telling my boys about you." She whispered, and although I was almost out the door I still heard it.

I didn't really remember the clerk being so strange, but maybe she just never noticed me. I decided I probably won't go there soon, and I'd walk a bit farther to another store that was probably nicer anyways. There was a small distance between our house and the store; it was very convenient for all of us for all we had to do was run down the hills. Careful not to drop the bread in the mud, I towered the steep hill slowly and carefully, expectant to see the house soon. Usually if it's clear out you can see it from the shop, but when it's stormy you probably would not be able too. I walked for just a little while, hoping that my legs would last a little bit longer until I could sleep, but then the house finally came into my vision. I picked up the pace I currently at until I was running and I ran up the last hill almost slamming into the wooden door. I opened it swiftly surprised that it was already unlocked and passed through the door-frame.

The inside of our home isn't the nicest. You'd see a lot better near the district hall. Our house was placed conveniently on top of one of the smaller hills providing a nice view from the bedrooms. It was one story tall and the inside was pretty average. You walk straight into the living area, where our kitchen and seating arrangements were located. There was an entrance to a hallway on the right wall of the kitchen, which led to the two bedrooms. We didn't have a dining room so we usually ate on the living chairs. The bedrooms were usually messy and gross. I walked into the kitchen and set the loaf of bread in a small cabinet before running off down the hallway. I made a sharp left into the bedroom, where there was a bed. I was an only child thankfully, so I didn't have to share a bed with anybody. I flopped onto the scratchy surface, and pulled my bangs out of my eyes. I slowly fell into a slumber quickly which wasn't surprising.

odair

sydmc Seam Resident 11 POSTS last seen Jul 29, 2015 20:40:22 GMT -5 Noob	solstice merill [f i n i s h e d] Jul 16, 2014 13:53:29 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sydmc on Jul 16, 2014 13:53:29 GMT -5 I have finished!

cass
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solstice merill [f i n i s h e d] Jul 16, 2014 21:39:14 GMT -5

Post by cass on Jul 16, 2014 21:39:14 GMT -5

Ello Sydmc! ^^

I'm Cass and I'll be taking a look at your bio today!

Okay so firstly I'd like to tell you that you have a lovely writing style. This bio is very well written, but it is missing a few fundamental things. I haven't got much of a detailed appearance of her, I don't think we even get her eye colour. We need detailed appearances the character and if you choose to do it in a format of your own choice you still need to include the minimal requirements for your bio. I hardly even have enough to make you what kind of person she is, you have bits and pieces of her personality here and there, but it isn't enough to create a well-fleshed out character. Let alone the minimal history we have on her. You've simply told a fragment of her life story and it isn't enough, okay? We need more, we need details, a fully done bio that creates a character.

We don't allow character's to travel via train. The only time they are afforded such a luxury is when they are heading off to the Hunger Games as tributes. Avox's would be used in place of people from the districts (as district people aren't allowed to both mingle with Capitolite's, and district people cannot mingle with other district people). So you are going to have to change that part. Terribly sorry about that.

Could you please fix/add these few things and when you are done post back here and I or another staff member will take a look ^^

-- Cass

Last Edit: Jul 16, 2014 21:40:50 GMT -5 by cass