Katharine Acress

I had a similar dream
My dream was real though
I left my body in the bed.
I took my clutch and pipe
Climbed out the window
And I was something else instead.
Automechanic

'Cigarette perched between a pair of chapped lips and a body up in the front seat, you realize this family works a lot on the hunk of scrap metal. But don't tell the Automechanic that; the girl running her hands over the wheel like she's gonna turn and drive off with the damn thing. Don't tell her shit, because she'll give you a mouthin' your ass won't forget. It'll start. You'll see.

And when everyone goes to sleep- eight children, June, and Auntie Mae, she's still out there; just thinking about the soft purr of the engine, making the whole entire piece of art to reverberate, like Uncle Pete used to do when he snored. He also did it when he croaked about two summers ago, but everyone tries not to think about that.

You've seen her before, and you realize that this same grease monkey has been jabbing and grabbing every bully in school for the last three years. Some stupid thing happened, you guess. Yeah, her Pa died 'cause he was out choppin trees alone and one crushed his legs like twigs. He either starved or got ate. Well, he sure as hell got ate, but you don't if he starved first. Either way, when they found what was left him, only his ring finger was left. That's why no one hops the fence. It ain't worth it.

Don't you ever talk about it, either. You can talk about her mother whenever you want to. She was a whore anyway. However, you can't ever talk about her father. She won't cry if that's what you're thinking. Ironically, you'll be the one weeping.

This little circus troop she joined don't mean nothin to Katharine. Not even her last name, because nothing but that bloody that truck her father kept behind the house matters. They don't know how it feels to be her; they never will.

And she certainly don't like to feel like she owes them something because they took her in. Just 'cause June had her don't make nobody her Mama- she don't deserve the title after abandoning her once. The rest of these kids ain't her siblings, either- just some little mighty-mites that happened to pop out after she went down the road of unhappy marriages. After all, she left her and Pa to fend for themselves before.

It's not gonna work. It don't even have half of its parts. But all that matters is that it was Daddy's pride and joy. And if it won't move, she'll make it move with her mind. Katherine just closes her eyes when the going gets tough and imagines what it feels like to drive. One day it's gonna ride her out of here. Anywhere.

But what hurts the most is that she really can't remember what Pa looks like. When she looks in the mirror, she can't see him- dark, slightly matted hair; grey eyes and the occasional freckle found on her flushed cheeks. And he'd pretend to steal them, all the time. Her runt of a nose and arched brows mocking her in her own reflection. Those long chicken legs knocking together- "My little bow-legged angel."

Katharine took after the person she hated the most.

Her mother.

I never worry
I have a garden and a radio.
Made all my own tools
Minding my business
Trade you a tune for some gasoline.

eighteen//odair/district seven