The call (Marr)

Dreams. Images. Fears. Thoughts. Things that run around in my head from time to time. Days had been a little rough since Matthew had found out last weekend about the baby. The days since his father went too far and hit him right in front of me. It's weird to think that he might not come home this weekend despite what he had told me that night in the cabin. It might have been just something to say but after his father treating him that way, I suspect that he won't want to come home. I wouldn't blame him either, though I desperately miss him. It feels weird here at the house now knowing everthing and anticipating this weekend. I do wonder how Matthew is holding up now.

"Kyanite. Get down here!" I hear my father's voice in a matter of seconds from hearing the car door shut. I don't even get up from my bed before I hear his booming voice and I'm up quicker than lightning and make it to the stairs to see him standing in the doorway, taking his shoes off. "Kyanite. You and I need to talk."

A cold chill runs down my back as I decend the stairs to meet with him at the bottom. His nice suit jacket leaves his arms as he throws it to the chair beside of him as he loosens his tie. There's this jolt of fear for some reason because he's not talked to me formally in so long. Practically never at all.

"What is it?" I question him as I go to sit on the couch. I draw my legs up and wrap my arms around them as I eye my father closely. His face displays this unusual smile on his face. It's almost unsettling, really. I've never seen him smile like that before... not since before my mother.

He takes his time pulling his tie off and then turns to me. His gaze on my form makes me advert my gaze away immediately. I can't begin to think of much now. I am just fully curious what it is that is going through his mind. Then he comes to sit next to me on the couch and his hands connect in front of him as he bends over on his knees. Now, his eyes stay off of me and he starts to speak outwardly.

"Kyanite. The last few months I've realized you are becoming your own person. You've disappointed me in so many ways with your training and the pregames. You've been careless as of late. You've brought home guys. You need.... direction... in your life. You need a role model, and I'm not talking about some trainer at the gym. You need a mother..."

"Wait.. I have a mother. Remember? I already have one." My voice raises quickly and without hesitation. Almost to the point of being sarcastic and I can see the look in his face has turned from that smile to a disappointed turn.

"No. You don't." He clearly states and turns to me. "I'm seeing this woman. I think it'll be good for you to meet her tonight. She's very interested in your wellbeing. Even she thinks that you've been 'set free' for too long."

"No. I won't. She has no place to be telling me what to do. She doesn't belong in my life. If you want her in your life, that's fine. She will not replace my mother."

"Kyanite. You have no choice. She'll be here tonight. Also, I think that you should know that I do plan on marrying her in the near future. I expect you to treat her with respect. She only wants the best for you."

"She...? She wants the best for me? What about what I think is best for me? What about what I want? I don't want her. I don't even know her. Is that what you've been doing all this time? You're off screwing her. You're gone all the time. You're never even..." His hand suddenly grabs on to my chin with a deadlock grip and his face just inches from my own. My heart speeds up quickly and for a moment I don't even look in front of me. My eyes are trained to the side away from his glare.

"Kyanite. So help me. If you act up tonight... you will regret it, do you hear me?" He lets go of my face with a jerk and tears already spring up to my face. I just sit there from one moment to the next and watch as he shakes his head and goes beside the door to grab his shoes. A second later, he looks at me with a look of severe disappointment and grabs his keys and leaves. I feel like I'm in shock.

"A mother? You killed my mother." I state and get up from the couch and walk upstairs with weak legs. Some twenty minutes later, I relax in my bed. Just trying to forget what happened between my father and I.

The phone rings.

I let my gaze move to the phone and debate to pick it up because I have no clue who it could be, but the curiosity is too much. I sit up on the side of the bed and pick it up.

"Hello? Ruze residence." I state but the voice on the other end of the line suddenly has my heart picking up pace again. A phone call from Matthew scares me. Just because it is rare. I listen to him. "Yeah. Of course, Matthew. I always have time for you. What's going on? Are you okay?" I question him and settle myself back on my bed, bringing the blanket up to my stomach, almost to protect my precious cargo from any bad news I might hear.

I hold the blanket to my stomach, wrapping my arm around my middle as I hear his voice come onto the other line. His voice doesn't sound great. I can even hear his breathing on the other line which is a bit bothersome since the incident. I linger a moment until he speaks up again. "No much right now. Had a bad day. I just wanted to hear your voice."

I smile internally, and very little on the outside. The events that just took place earlier still heavy on my mind, but now they are being alleviated by Matthew's voice and hearing that he's had a bad day. That's not good and I hate to hear that, but if he wants to just talk, then I have all the time in the world for him. A long pause comes across from him as I speak up.

"Well, you have me on the phone. Talk away Matthew." I tell him.

"How have you been? Is everything okay with you ...and the baby." He questions what's going on with me and I don't feel it's nessesary to say anything about what is going on today. The rest of the days have been nothing but boring. Without him around, my days are wasted with sickness and wishing he was home. Once or twice I went out, but it isn't the same.

"We're good. Still hating that morning routine. I'm beginning to wonder if it'll ever go away." I try to lighten the mood a bit, knowing he'll understand what I'm talking about. But he asks another question about how I'm holding up and keeping myself busy with buying stuff. On this end, I'm all kinda of shaking my head because he don't understand that I can't buy anything right now. I don't even know what I need. I know I'll have to get together with Vy soon and figure that out. I've still yet to go get a check up and I'm procrastinating to do so until my father finds out. I'm sure he'll be the first to take me, then again... his new lady probably will be all up in my business about this.

A small bit of fear numbs my skin.

"I've been looking, but I've not got any evidence laying around. Kinda waiting for that, Matthew." I tell him, though I pick up a bit of something still not right with him. He clears his throat and is silence after that. I guess telling him a little bit of what's going on isn't going to hurt anything. "My dad's getting married soon..."

I wait. And wait. No reaction. Did he even hear me?

"Matthew? Are you there?" My voice picks up in volume when he doesn't answer me. I hear something on the line and I take it that he is. If he's had a hard day, bad, as he stated, then something went wrong. "Did they find out or something? Are they going to send you home?"

Already, I begin to wonder what's wrong with him when he doesn't respond to what I had to tell him, nor when he doesn't say anyhting right away when asking if he was there. It was a dead silence for a moment without him, but he finally speaks up after such a pause. To hear his voice is a relief now. He even calms my fears of someone finding out by telling me so. I nod to myself. I'm not sure what will happen to me and the baby if they found out about this situation.What lengths they'll go to keep their rules in play and keep people from breaking them. All I can do is thank the higher powers for keeping him safe.

"They assigned a trainer to me, who's suppose to catch me up on all the stuff I missed and whip me back into shape. He's pretty tough but ...good." How tough? I knew that he was going to be behind in his studies and especially even more so after the last weekend when studying wasn't that important to him. It was a rather stressful time. Is that why? Has he fallen even more behind? The name of the man that's training him is given and I replay it a couple of times in my head. It sounds familiar but I'm not sure why.

"Too far? As in how much too far? Did he hurt your or something... or did you get hurt during the training?" I note the anger that I can hear in his voice. It almost sounds like he resents his new trainer. I can only imagine what horrible things he's having to do to get 'whipped' back into shape. What would that incur? Hours of drills? Obstacle courses....

"Matthew, just take it easy for right now, okay? Take your break. They can't expect you to be a super human and be able to come back just like that. You are going to be great. Pace yourself. If he continues to push you to your max, then tell him. Let him know that you're not ready for something that you're not able to do. They can't penalize you for something that might push you past your breaking point." I reason with him, in hopes that he'll listen to me. Maybe he'll rest and then give it another go? The line on the other end goes dead yet again, making me worry.

"Matthew... please be safe, alright?" I wait to hear his voice again, but silence is all that I get. So, I just take it that his hard day has really pushed him. So, I don't say much more on the subject unless he wants to. "I miss you, you know that right? This week has been awfully dull without you. I can't wait to see you this weekend. I think Saturday... is going to be hell, if you know what I'm talking about."

I give him that subtle hint that I'm planning on telling my father on Saturday. "Hey... when you come home on Friday... you should come over later and hang out. Empty house. Watch a show or something or just talk?"

My concern is so evident in my voice. For Matthew and me, and the whole situation. Then it's all on him as he tells me that the training was too much for him. Although, the words that comes next puts me into a dark area again. He brings up the sparring match I had with Vy that one time where Jins' face replaced Vy's and I ended up hurting her in my need to escape. Is that what happened? He's having these horrid visions now after all is said and done. A late reaction or just someone whose been strong for too long and finally letting it come out that what happened to him is making a break for it. Now of all times, he's letting it finally get to him. I feel remorse now, on top of everything else. Jins was my problem in the long run but with him, it's become his now and everyone else that was involved.

"I'm sorry, Matthew." I don't know what to say nor do for him. He's so far away from me right now and I can't just go up to him and hug him. I can't give him teh same support that he gave me during those moments of panic. He's dealing with it by himself. I know that can't be easy. "I'm here for you Matthew. Anytime you need to talk, you know how to reach me. Just like you did for me. I don't think it'll ever go away... but it is getting better." My voice whispers out becasue I don't want to be harsh with him in the least. He don't deserve that. The dreams aren't as vivid anymore for myself, but the nightmares do still arise some nights. Sometimes more than once. At least they don't last half as long as they used to.

"Then no one needs to know your story. You don't go there for recognition... or friends, you are there to make a difference, Matthew. Like you did for me... why not create a new story they won't forget?" I state with confidence. My support coming through with words.

With a seductive style of word choices, I offer up a night just with him. Maybe some shows to watch and then we can talk if he wants to. Maybe we will just be able to spend a right good amount of time together.

"I can't wait. I wish you could be here now. I'd love to just hold you close. I miss you, too." He tells me and for once, he's gotten me speechless. A small audible 'aww' comes out though. After the initial moment of replaying those words in my head, I let him know the same.

"When you come home, you will. Just hold out, Matthew. Look forward to this weekend!" I'm not sure if he even hears me because I hear the door open on his end and I'm left wondering what's going on. Some lady's talking to him asking him if everything was alright. Once again, some form of silence, but the shuffling is over the phone I think then he comes back on to tell me his time is almost up. The woman's voice makes me curious, though I don't let it play me. Instead, I hear the next question.

"Just sitting here in bed. Relaxing. Thinking. Nothing too much at all, really. Might see about taking a nap before my dad brings over his girlfriend." I say it with pure disgust. "I don't want to meet her tonight." And I really don't. If my father is goign to become a sudden hardass again, I don't know if this will work out. "Hey... mind if I use your grandpa's old cabin if I have to get away?" I tease him, with a light chuckle.

"My brother isn't out shooting anyone is he? Making a mess of things? Getting repremanded is he?"