Sanctuary (Dunham)

"Your mother is an archer?" For some reason that sounds absolutely crazy to me. Mother and archer somehow don't get together. Then again Kyanite is a career, who will soon be a mother...what a whicked combination.
"I can't wait to meet your mom." For some reason I now get this kick ass picture of his mother in my head rather than the wel rounded older woman with an apron.

O'Rourke predicts a fight if we got to the local pub so I keep looking at my empty bottle for a minute or two.
"Usually a fight wouldn't scare me off the loal pub but you know what happened this week. I'd rather lay low and not get tossed around any more than I already have. At sme stage I want to get back and graduate, you know?" I give him a grin.

Of course he knows.
"Do you suppose your dad can spare one more if we replace it?"

I keep my eyes out on the road and then let them wander around.
"Wanna go to the little lake or whatever it is where your dad goes fishing?"
Whoa...what did just happen? Am I really suggesting going near water? For a moment I was even contamplating a swim to cool down.
"Dip the feet in or something?" I suggest before he wants to go skinny dipping with his whicked sense of humor.

I'm glad O'Roure is not pushing to go to the bar but offers me to grab another beer at home. Right now I would feel very strange to take a third one even though they are so hospitable.

"Remember the part about guests being welcome to whatever we have?"You're a grown man, you can have yourself another beer if you damn well feel like it... just don't go making yourself sick, I will fireman's carry you up the stairs if you get wasted."
"That's a pretty nasty thread, Brody." I laugh out loud and get up to follow him around the edge of the house. We pass a few colorful bushes that have butterflies hovering above it.

Then down a hill towards the waters edge where a boat is tied up.

The closer we get the more mosquitoes are flyinga round and the more I get uncomfortable.

Brody feels completely different about it just like I did not too long ago. He strips off his clothes on his way down and throws everything onto the cut law and the higher grass around the water before he flips into the water.
Damn how I wish I could still be that guy. I wish I would have never had any bad experience in water...once, twice. I wish I had never got stabbed. I wish I wish...my fists are balling at my side because I'm getting really pissed about myself while he's spalshinga round claiming the water is fine.

"Fuck this!" I'm so sick and tired of what I let Jins do to my head rather than just to my body. I told Ky not to let him mess with here head and here I am: Afraid of a pond. What a bunch of crap.

And suddenly I come to a conclusion. I will always be afraid if I don't tackle it right now and here.
My feet reach down to my boots unlacing them. I pull them off, the my shirt is over my head and I unzip my pants to push them down.

I don't even look at the water before I start running in my boxer telling myself over and over to 'fuck Jins, fuck Jins'...
With one giant leap I take a jump into the green cold water that swallows me whole from one moment to the next.

I freeze....

for just a split second before I swim againts it and to the surface knowing that nobody but Brody, my friend, me and a few trout are in here. I AM FINE.

My head breaks thrugh the surface while a weird mixture of fear, anxiety and triumph rushes through every bit of my body.

"Holy shit!" I yell triumphantly as my head whirls around to find my instructor.

All the way down to my numbing fingertips and toes I can feel the tingling sensation of the adrenalin rush I just got. The water is an element that makes me tense but somehow today I can handle it. My whole body feels alive and kicking with the rush. This time it's not a bad one though. I used the right moment to throw myself into this situation that I've been dreading so much especially after it ended in a desaster only three days ago. Whatever drove me to this must have something to do with Brody's presence, that gives mea shit load ofsinfidence and his family setting. It's good, peaceful.

I tread water for a bit and wipe it from ym eyes to get a good look around. My instructor is only feet away from me looking pretty worried and asking whether I'm okay so I show him one thumb up and mutter with a smile.

"I think so."

Of course the cold element leaves a bad taste in my mouth and m guard is up very high but I want this and I'm fine with it.
So I start swimming along the shore line towards some water lilies.
The water creates a certain pressure on my chest that's alittle uncomfortable but today I closed my mouth fast enough so I wouldn't inhale any.

I take it in nice slow strokes but no panic yet.
"Much better today. Must be the place."

How long I'll be able to do this before Irealize how dumb or mybe smart this move was I'm not sure.
"Just don't dunk my head." I attempt a joke when a duck that got startled by me flies away and startles me.

The duck startled me a little but I soon get a full grip on myself again and take full advantage of my suddenly found braveness. It feels much better than what I experienced at the pool.I'm weary of it though and worried because I know it could hit me anyy time again. I also know my trainer would come to my recue but I'd rather not get into that situation again.

So I swim a little longer, occassionally even put my head unde the surface for a second and then make it to the dock where Brody had lit some lamps. While he jumps back in I've had enough and climb outside. The bit of swimming has left me panting and wheezig a little but I feel like today I don't want to be the victim, the fragile boy, who needs constant attention and medication. I just want to be me again and maybe, just maybe I don't need no CapMed after all. Maybe I can simply handle it myself.

With that pleasant thought I lay down on the heated up wooden planks and smirk upin the sky.

"Lanterns, how romantic...just for me, honey?" I tease before I realize what that might spark in Brody.
So I warn him. "Just keep your drawers on."

My feet are still dangling down in the cool water while the setting suns rays are warming my skin. I look around for my shirt but it's all the way over on the grass so whoever might see us here will just have to look away. Hopefully it won't be his mother who catches me in my white, standard issue boxer shorts.

I look up in the sky to see some clouds travelling with a nice tint of orange and pink to them.
"Are these your child hood roaming grounds? Is this where you brought all the girls teling them that no other girl has come here with you before?"
I'd love to know whether he has a girl friend.
"Wait, is that what you're still telling them?"

To just lay here stretched out on the dock after actually going swimming feels glorious. For once Im at peace with myself. It's great.

Brody joins me on the dock and aswers my qustions about bringing girls here a little more detailed than I had expected or hoped for.
"Boys and girls, before I joined the Peacekeepers, yeah." I guess he didn't get what I meant. I was talking 'on a date'. Then he quantifies by saying.
"I haven't had a girlfriend or boyfriend in a while though."
So he did understand. I just didn't. Holy shit...did he just say girlfriend or boyfriend? Both? I have a hard time keeping my jaw from dropping but try to look as blank as I can while I process this bit of information.
O'Rourke always struck me as a tough guys guy...not in that sense of the word. I never would have picked him from somebody who's into guys and suddenly all the jokes from before don't seem so jokey anymore.

That brings me to the question whether he brought me here for more than just studying and keeping an eye on me. Does he fancy me in any way?
I swallow after falling silent for a moment and prop myself onto my elbows looking over the water.

"Why do you ask? Afraid some lad or lady is going to challenge you to a fight defending my honor?"
"Not really." I think I'm turning red.
"I think I'll let the lady ...or lad..have their way with you."

I hope he knows that I don't fancy him. I might look up to him but in a very different way.
"So that kiss after graduation is more of a promise than a joke, eh?" I'm really insecure about what to think right now. I've never had a guy make any moves on me...unless my drunk friend Tyren at the camp fire counts but that was just for the challenge.
No witty remarks are left.

I try to seem as little awkward as possible even though I feel kind of strange in O'Rourkes presence now and try to scan him for signs that he might be into me.
But he picksright up on it and lectures me on my strangeness.
"You refer to CPR as kissing and nut up when I joke about the difference between that and an actual kiss, liken yourself to my girlfriend when I bring you with me for a trip home, and ask me whether or not I'm dating someone... but you're squeamish of kissing guys? You're a strange one, Matthew."
I guess he's right about that even though I'd call him a little strange.
"I'll call you a chickenshit for backing out on your own challenge, but I'm not gonna touch you if it freaks you out that much."
"Call me what you want." I turn my head to the side to offer him a genuine smile. "I guess I deserve it."

The sun is slowly setting behind the trees on the other side of the lake leaving my wet skin slightly chilled, so I it up an brush some dirt off my hands.
"I'm going to take a wild guess and say you have yourself a girlfriend back home?"
"Wouldn't you like to know." Instead of a real answer the teasng is back, so I add.
"Who knows. Maybe I also have a boyfriend at home."
I'm pretty sure that he can tell that's a bunch of bs.

My trainer seems to get a bit cold as well so we make our way back to the house after he blows out the candles he had lit before. The grass is already starting to feel slightly damp beneath my bare feet.

With my clothes in my arms I sneak into the house behind him hoping his dad is still sound asleep and mom not home yet. A quick look to the left and right confirms that the coast is clear so I hurry upstairs where a small sign on the door indicates which one is the bath room.

I drop my clothing on the floor and turn on the water to let the cold water flow away but to my great surprise it's warm right away.
"Weird." I shake my head but then shed my boxers as well and step under the warm droplets coming down from a rain forest showerhead.
It feels nice and chases a shiver across my back until it's gone.
Almost instantly I relax and drop my chin on my chest closing my eyes.
The droplets soak me through and through. I feel strangely at home in this place I've never been before with a family that is not mine.



When I open my eyes my gaze falls on the set of scars surrounded by some bruising on my chest. I trail my finger across it, then check the one on the side where the tube had been. It still grosses me out to think about it and every time I check I hope it's fading away together with the others but it's been weeks and it's still rosy red. Maybe it will never go away, no, most likely it won't but I'll make damn sure that the scars he left on my mind will fade. Like today.
A small smirk appears on my lips.

Then I grab the soap to lather up becomes I'm sure Brody wants some warm water left and I don't fancy sharing the last bit with him.

Soon I step out nice and warm with my dry clothes back on in search of O'Rourke. Since I don't want to wake up his father I carefully check the open doors just to din himin his room...obviously his judging by all the certificates with his name on it.

I step right in the middle with my hair still dripping wet but he surely doesn't mind.
On the wall I spot something much more interesting than a certifcate.
Gently I touch the metal and admire how cold it feels.
"Wow, nice. Yours?"

I just want tolook at the wepn on the wall but before I know it Brody takes it from its mounting and weighs it in his hands. An axplanation about it's name, which strikes me as a bit odd, follows. Who names a weapon.
He has good reasons for it and soon I feel it's heavy weight in my own hands.

Pricus looks immaculate but I can tell by a few scratches that it has been used before. Hopefully not to kill anyone.
"When do you use it?" I wonder because he wasn't a career, at least not that I know off.

I carefully tighten my grip on the handle and weigh it in my right hand. Then I open my fingers to close them tighter before I move it in the air.
With the right handling this could be a very dangerous, deadly weapon.

"I hope you don't take this to bar fights with you." My moves become alittle faster, yet crontrolled. I've used different training weapons before so I'm not completely unfamiliar with it.

Just to tease him I grin and ask. "So doesyour shield have a name, too?"