Silence is a friend of mine [Open]

Sage
Capitol Resident

1,890 POSTS
last seen Sept 4, 2024 17:46:38 GMT -5

"I swear to god you give me the sex talk, I'll kill you"

Silence is a friend of mine [Open] Aug 20, 2014 9:56:20 GMT -5

Post by Sage on Aug 20, 2014 9:56:20 GMT -5

My fingers work tirelessly, the poem on the page before me coming to life as I write, something I do quite often on days like today. I really don't want to go out today, perhaps that is just me but I don't see the point in socializing because I can't even hear what others want to say to me. Funny how life gets sometimes, when we don't want to socialize or do something with others the universe seems to listen, at least it listens to me. Perhaps it is because I don't have the distractions of noise to interfere with things.

I look down at the page and read over my work, unsatisfied with it. I have been working on this poem for a long time now, never able to find inspiration to tie everything together but perhaps I just haven't found what I'm looking for yet. A light tap on my shoulder startles me and I turn to see one of the avoxes, Miyuki I believe her name was, looking at me with her fiery hazel eyes. She's quite pretty for an avox and we share something in common, we're both silent. She's silent by force whereas I am silent by choice. I smile at her and she smiles back. She understands me in a way no one else does and for that I am grateful. She signs that lunch is ready and I nod, standing from my chair and padding into the kitchen where my mother is cooking. Because I can't hear anything, my other senses have had to become stronger to make up for my lack of hearing, my eyesight being the strongest of those senses and what I see on the table makes my stomach grumble.

"What's for breakfast?" I sign to my mom. She smiles and signs back. "Only your favorite" I grin, sitting at the table. Miyuki serves up my favorite food, pancakes and sausages before retreating away from the table to stand waiting for us. I eat quickly before deciding to go for a walk. Once I'm finished, I sign to my mother that I am going for a walk and she nods.

The Capitol, if you take away all the sounds, is actually quite beautiful, especially in the afternoon hours. I walk silently along, my dark green dress snug against my curves as I walk and the green flats on my feet feeling kind of uncomfortable. My mother insists on me going out looking my best, I don't understand why, it's not like I'll ever meet anyone who understands me. Maybe one day you will. I learned long ago not to get my hopes up though.

As I walk, I kind of space out and before I know what's going on, I suddenly find myself staring into the eyes of a stranger. "I'm sowrry" I say and it feels so weird talking. I haven't talked in ages and it just doesn't feel right to use my voice.

Last Edit: Aug 20, 2014 9:59:20 GMT -5 by Sage

Ani's Performers
Elegant: oh darling do you really think I was 'gone' gone?

arx!!
Retired Staff

2,484 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen Nov 22, 2024 19:23:46 GMT -5

literally so gay, doing so many crimes

Silence is a friend of mine [Open] Aug 25, 2014 8:21:51 GMT -5

Post by arx!! on Aug 25, 2014 8:21:51 GMT -5

There is something about my job that helps me to forget that I am not human. The tasks are so remedial, the simplicity so human, and I take great pleasure in it. But ... then there are the people.

People - these people - they do not fear. And to that fact is frightening to me. Because of who I am, I understand what lurks beneath the dreamy-eyed innocence of the many. I understand that fear keeps me alive, that without fear, I may have already been hunted down and killed by my own demons. And maybe some angry Capitolites. Luckily for me, my animal instinct kicks in and I am no longer a monster. I can camouflage myself, I can blend in - in fact, I've been "trained" my entire life like that.

Those around me, they do not fear me.

They should fear me, should cringe in horror, should flee for their life, but instead they only smile. They think I am a gentleman when in reality, I am just some dumb, sick predator. They should fear me, but they do not. I wish they would, but they don't. At least the humane part of me wishes that. But I am a predator. I am not humane.

The predator inside me, the one that comes out to play by the light of the moon, that part of me that has taken over is always hiding, always lurking in the shadows. Even now in the broad daylight I can feel it growling beneath my skin, teeth clenched around my heart. I swallow back fear as I walk amongst the citizens on the Capitol, trying hard just to focus on my task. All I need is a simple pair of hedge clippers. Then I will turn straight around and go back to Temple Studios.

But nothing is ever that simple with me. I eat my steak raw, I turn into a werewolf when touched by moonlight, and I was chained in the basement for the first years of my life. Nothing is ever that simple for me. I can only assume I will turn in that time. Somehow the moon will come out and I will turn into that thing that makes me want to hunt and kill. I don't want to end up with nothing but a girl's hand in my teeth again.

I can't let that happen again ...

Just get the hedge clippers and go. Easy. No problems. Nothing.

With all the pent up fear inside me I had begun staring at the ground again. I run into someone, a lady I realize, and instinctively reach to catch her. I immediately jump into apologies, that sly part of me coming out to play. The predator is always watching. I bend to look at her, my height making me much more intimidating than I truly am. "I'm sowrry."

Her words feel like a whisper and for a moment I think I am listening to a full-fledged child. I blink for a moment, my hand still holding her arm. "The fault is mine."

"Are you ... alright?" I ask, genuinely concerned. Those clippers can wait. But - just for the moment.

☾ Jasper Tuttle ☽

Capitol - 26 - Temple Studios

"I run on the road, long before I dance under the lights."

Sage
Capitol Resident

1,890 POSTS
last seen Sept 4, 2024 17:46:38 GMT -5

"I swear to god you give me the sex talk, I'll kill you"

Silence is a friend of mine [Open] Aug 31, 2014 0:45:04 GMT -5

Post by Sage on Aug 31, 2014 0:45:04 GMT -5

Looking up at the person I've bumped into is looking into the eyes of a stranger, someone I've never seen before and I see his lips moving but I cannot hear what he says. He doesn't know that I am deaf, that I cannot understand the sounds that must come from his mouth. I wonder what he will think when he discovers this flaw in my otherwise perfect appearance.

Pulling out a small piece of paper that I try to keep on me for times like this, I write something down quickly. "I'm sorry, I cannot hear you." Since I was a child and my parents used to try speaking to me, I have used a notepad to communicate as well as sign language but most people do not understand sign language and therefore, communication is quite difficult. It saddens me when people do not see the artist within me.

"I am so sorry for bumping into you, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, I hope you are not angry" I write and show him, allowing him to see. I offer a shy smile and feel my cheeks warm as he is quite older than I am and I feel that it is rude of me to have bumped into him. My parents taught me my manners after all, it's all about appearances, they would either sign or write to me. I have to appear to be normal, to appear to be the perfect child they want and not fall off the edge of sanity into the black abyss that seems to await me on the other side. Perhaps if you let yourself get the surgery to restore your hearing, this wouldn't be a problem The small voice that seems to love talking to me chirps up before I glance back from the way I came. If I'm perfectly honest, I have no idea as to where I am and this worries me because I'm not used to being out in the Capitol on my own, I had just planned to go for a leisurely walk through the city streets and now here I am, a little lost and looking up at a stranger whom I haven't even introduced myself to. Did your parents teach you nothing? I shake my head before scribbling down my name. "My name is Adriatta and I think I may be lost" I hope he can help me.

Ani's Performers
Elegant: oh darling do you really think I was 'gone' gone?

arx!!
Retired Staff

2,484 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen Nov 22, 2024 19:23:46 GMT -5

literally so gay, doing so many crimes

Silence is a friend of mine [Open] Sept 22, 2014 20:20:25 GMT -5

Post by arx!! on Sept 22, 2014 20:20:25 GMT -5

She pulls away from me and a fear strikes up within me. (I haven't turned have I?) I look down at my hands - no fur, no claws, still human. I smile, but she hasn't seen me fussing. She has pulled out a notepad and pen, scribbling into it. And I only let my face falter for a moment inquisitively before I snap the smile back on my face, a memory springing to mind of my aunt backhanding me for not using proper manners.

She pushes the notepad towards me and it takes me a moment to realize she wants me to read it. I turn to read it, the words rather beautifully scrawled, much different than my messy handwriting. "I'm sorry, I cannot hear you." Shit. She's deaf.

I nod with a smaller smile, letting it sink in. I hadn't met anyone that couldn't hear my burly voice before. I mean, there are surgeries to fix that here. (Unfortunately they don't know how to cure lycanthropy...) I pull my hands from my pockets but she has already started writing again, so I pause and lean over to see what she is writing.

"I am so sorry for bumping into you, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, I hope you are not angry." I instantly shake my head giving her another reassuring nod and a smile. She looks flustered for a moment and then starts to write again. "My name is Adriatta and I think I may be lost." Okay. Okay I can do this - I know the Capitol with all its twists and turns and fancy streets and dark alleys like the back of my hand.

I gesture for the pad of paper and pen, writing - "Hello, I'm Jasper." I hand her back the paper and then make sure she is looking before I use the bit of sign language I do know. Impressive, right? After being treated like nothing more than a dog for years my aunt and uncle couldn't get me to speak, so they taught me a little bit of sign language until I got the hang of speech. I guess having shitty parents has its benefits.

"Pleased to meet you." I sign, not sure if I got all the gestures quite right. I chuckle to myself, trying to think of the words - it's all pretty rusty ... "I can help you." I sign, "Where are you going?" I smile and take back the pen and pad, writing, "Sorry, Miss. I'm a bit rusty." And I hand her back the paper and pen, abandoning all thoughts of the clippers I needed to get. They can wait. My instincts to use proper manners has kicked in - always treat a lady right. Probably my aunts most famous mantra.

☾ Jasper Tuttle ☽

Capitol - 26 - Temple Studios

"I run on the road, long before I dance under the lights."

Sage
Capitol Resident

1,890 POSTS
last seen Sept 4, 2024 17:46:38 GMT -5

"I swear to god you give me the sex talk, I'll kill you"

Silence is a friend of mine [Open] Sept 26, 2014 2:23:15 GMT -5 via mobile

Post by Sage on Sept 26, 2014 2:23:15 GMT -5

He shakes his head when he reads my writing and I think for a moment that he can't read my writing but within moments he is is scribling on the paper and handing it back. Hello, I'm Jasper he writes before handing me back the paper. I feel a shy smile creep over my face. It's been a long time since I've met someone who hasn't judged me for who I am. Perhaps he knows what it's like to be an outcast. I wonder how he knows what it's like? He looks like a typical Capitolite, if a little rough around the edges but nothing a little money couldn't fix. I can't help the childlike gazing at him because it's been a while since seeing nother person not related to me and not an avox. (Most of the avoxes at home I have actually gotten to know quite well with signing and silent communication.).

Mentally slapping myself to get myself together I look down at my shoes which are beginning to pinch my feet uncomfortably. I watch as he tries to get my attention and he signs something to me which amazes me.

Pleased to meet you he signs. Finally, someone who can sign. I thought I'd never meet anyone else who could sign. My parents could kind of sign, however they weren't very good at it. I can help you. Where are you going? He signs before taking the paper back. He seems to be a little rusty on his signing skills and he says as much when he hands back the paper. I look up at him, wondering if I can genuinely trust this person I have just met whose name is Jasper.

I write down the park I had been trying to go to and hand it back to him. My parents were insisting that I go out and so I am going out but my sense of direction fails miserably. I am trying to go to Fountain park. My parents were insisting that I get out and don't worry, your signing is pretty good. Nice to meet someone who actually understands. I write for him before giving him the paper. "So, what are you doing out here?" I sign, a childish fascination with this person taking over. I may be eighteen but there are times when I seem younger than I actually am. I wonder if it's because I have always been deprived of one of my senses so I have had to make up for it. Who knows. I hope he doesn't find it weird.