D2 ♬ { Iden Yuki } ♬ WIP

D2 ♬ { Iden Yuki } ♬ WIP Sept 9, 2014 2:18:02 GMT -5

Post by loren on Sept 9, 2014 2:18:02 GMT -5

I D E N Y U K I

"G O T T O G E T B E T T E R, W I L L L O V E Y O U F O R E V E R"
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TWENTY-FIVE | DISTRICT 2 | MALE

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Probably the most surprising thing about me is that I don't weigh 500 pounds.

I really should. Every biology class ever teaches you that if you do nothing but lounge about on your ass all day and the only things green that enter your mouth are the lime-flavored jelly people from your pick 'n' mix then you'll be 500 pounds. Or dead. And I don't know when I stopped eating things that grew from the ground or used to walk and have feelings but it happened somewhere down the road and now my life is "cheese-flavored" and colored "red 40".

The other day I ate cereal out of a wine glass because I desperately do not want to wash the dishes.

I used to have ambition, I swear. I literally mapped out my entire career by age five. For the first two decades of my life I had this weird disillusionment that I was going to be a nuclear physicist and make the big money and have the good times (I was going to have a boat. Several, many boats) and I even finished half my course at the university before the "study pills" short circuited my brain and I became "that-guy-who-tore-off-all-his-clothes-and-jumped-into-the-fountain-in-the-quad-and-got-expelled". Which is so unfortunate because I used to be "the-guy-with-the-nice-sweaters" and I enjoyed that pseudonym so much more.

And now, at twenty-five, not only do I not have a single boat, but I'm living in a shack of an apartment where I have to lie down completely flat on my stomach and use my laptop on the floor to steal my neighbor's WiFi. (From what I did learn from my brief education is all the algorithms and necessary hacks to figure out anyone's personal data online. Not that I needed any of it to access his Wifi. It took me six guesses. His password was "b00bies".)

From the money I'm making from Leon I should, in theory, be living the good life (with maybe even a small boat who knows) but I still have to pay off those damn loans I took out to pay for five and a half years of crippling anxiety, binge-drinking, and the ultimate disgrace of the Yuki family name.

I took a Music Appreciation course in college because the professor was a notorious pushover and I knew I could get some real work done in there while making easy credits. Which is the ultimate form of irony. Because now songwriting is how I get my "Beef Flavored Cup Noodles" on the table. And maybe I'd even be able to afford the Premium Shrimp-flavored one if I paid a bit more attention in that class.

Anyway, if I had learned anything from the three days I really did pay attention because I forgot my quantum field theory notes in my dorm, it was these three things.

1.

2.

3.

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