though its the end of the world dont blame yourself {pearl}
Sept 25, 2014 18:30:24 GMT -5
Post by rook on Sept 25, 2014 18:30:24 GMT -5
PATRICIA VALFIERNOLiving in a cruel world, drudging with my feet in the snow
On a day out, and it's a night now
Doctor, I've been walking by the side of the road
For a long time, and I'm going out of my mind.Four in the morning and I'm crawling on the cold, marble flooring. I am calling out to my sister, begging for her help. She doesn't come. Of course she doesn't come. The black night presses against the window pane, cruel and opaque. I search for the stars, but all I see out the glass is my own reflection staring back at me. Is that rain running down the window, or am I crying? I don't know anymore. I don't know anything. I stretch out a hand towards the abyss, wishing someone would come from the other side and pull me to my feet. Someone's got to help me, right?
I throw up in a flowerpot, spewing out the contents of my force-fed supper. The food is too rich and strong, cooked for taste and not for nourishment. They've got it all wrong. They want to spoil us in our final week, rather than prepare us. It's like we're dead already. My mouth is sour. Vomit dribbles down my chin, stomach bile that is tinged red from the almost-raw meats and heavy wines. The food is so sickly, it's almost better to not eat it. I crawl back towards my bed, leaving sticky residue paw-prints behind.
I am safe on this bed, right? This is my own space, for now. My own bubble. No knives or swords can cut me down so long as I am here on this bed. I am not in the Arena yet, and no Tribute can leave their rooms after dark, let alone get into anyone else's. I am safe. So why is my body so tense? It feels like something is going to stab me at any second. I am on edge, constantly uncomfortable. I am waiting for the guillotine to drop.
I must have fallen asleep some time later, because the next thing I know I'm woken up by a harsh knocking at my temporary bedroom's door. My sheets are wet. I immediately take a sniff, and to my relief I cannot smell urine, just body odour. I rise out of my king size bed and walk bare footed to the shower. I make sure the water is ice cold, like I have it back home. I will not stoop to their sympathetic luxury. I have no time for sympathy, it is a wasted emotion.
I put on a mask of indifference and leave my bedroom. I walk away from that bed, which was my safe-haven for the night, and join with the Sycamore boy and our Mentor. We are led down to the Training Centre, where for the next week we will learn skills that are imperative to our survival in the Arena. The briefing is short, and tells us what we should already know - To pay close attention if we want to stay alive. Seeing the other twenty-three Tributes together like this is odd to say the least. I saw the replays of their Reapings last night, when our Mentor forced us to watch the Capitol Highlight Reel. Being in a room with people I am going to fight to the death with next week is surreal. One of the people in this room will be my killer, and undoubtedly I'll kill some of them too. I swallow that truth as I try not to glance around.
I am glad to be dismissed, immediately distancing myself from the other Tributes. The only person I feel any sort of comfort around is my District partner, and even then I don't fully trust him. Like when our parents left us, I am on my own. Except I had Rose back then. Now I really am alone. I keep telling myself I am a survivor, and that seems to spur me on. The key to survival is taking it one step at a time, and not thinking too far ahead. The future distracts from the now, and the Arena is so far from now that it's not worth thinking about. Now I need to train. I need to become better at surviving.
For the first half hour I learn how to knot. The instructor says he was born in District Four, but hired by the Capitol for this station. I screw my face up, confused at how they would hire one person just to teach kids how to tie knots, but then I suppose that someone has to, and the Capitol are all about having the best available resources in Panem. I half-pay attention to his words as I glance around the room, to check that no one sees how amateur I look. I see the Careers brutally going to work on some plastic dummies. Others are using the unique hologram system, which requires them to dodge as well as attack. I am instantly hooked on the orange holograms - This technology is like nothing I have ever seen. How can you create a three dimensional light graphic and have it move like that? I tell my instructor I am finished, before getting up to investigate.
Technology has always interested me. I should have been born in District Three. Part of how we made money was through my technical gifts. We were the greatest frauds in Five. The trick to scamming someone was to trick them into thinking they needed something they already have. For example, one time I sneaked my way into a small business' head office in Five and disabled a key part of their security systems. Rose then told the owner that their system was out of date and needed a new component. Of course, he didn't believe us. We proved that his system didn't work by breaking into the building the a couple of nights later and stealing a few computers. About a week later we returned, again offering the update. He accepted this time, even though the only thing wrong with his alarm was a missing component we had removed. Not only did we make a large amount from the "update", but we also stole some expensive computers that we flogged.
The Capitol is bigger, more technically advanced and a lot harder to fool. Of course, that doesn't intimidate me. I love a challenge, and if there's anything that can take my mind off of my impending death, it's a good scam. I walk away from the main group of stations and find a secluded area. I kneel down and inspect one of the flooring tiles. I squint, looking closely at the pattern. Tiny holes in the surface hide the most microscopic of LED's. Heck, I even doubt if they are LED's at all - Something much more powerful, surely? I head over to the walls to see they are made of the same tiles, also with these near-invisible lights installed.
I need to get underneath one. I march to the weapons station and snatch a knife - One that has a nice flat head. I feel it's balance and test the resilience against a training dummy. Feels about right. I make a hasty return to my secluded area and drop to my knees. I stick the knife in between two tiles and try to wedge the thing open. I wiggle it about, my face straining. I hear a click, and smile.
"Oh, you gorgeous thing!" I smile at the intricate wiring beneath the tile, and grin from ear to ear.Sitting on a rooftop, crazy days are coming again
I'll be running, but I'll be hidden in the masquerade
So far from me now, but oh I can hear the sound
Can't you hear the bells singing alone? You will hear it on the radiowords: 1228, graphics: rook
theme: hear the bells by porter robinson