Final countdown-spinoff

The throbbing has considerablly started to wear off. The pain not as intense as it was back at the house. The further we get away from the excitement back at the house, the calmer I start to get, but only just. Though, there is some form of pinching that occurs just at irregular intravals that make me close my eyes and furow my brows for a minute or two then it's gone. The monitor on the screen shows two heartbeats. One that's incredibly fast and one that is mine, but still beating above one hundred. I'm anxious. I'm still scared. My fingertips still quiver when they aren't balled up into my palms. I don't want Matthew to see how upset this whole ordeal has made me, but if I were fine, I wouldn't be where I am right now.

At least, he is here with me this time. This time, he is my rock. He's my comfort that no one else can give me. As the hovercraft, moves the nurse makes him sit down, afraid he's going to fall and he is given the seat nearer to me. His hands touching my hair is soothing. It's enough that I reach up to take his hand in my own for a moment, and squeeze then let go.

"We're five minutes out."

The smile that the woman gives me is reassuring. She points to the monitor and tries to give me some reassurace with the monitors then asks about informing the father. I want to tell them that he's already with me, but I keep my mouth shut. A hand touches my shoulder and I look to Matthew as he explains that he'll do it. I give him a nod.

"Thank you... will you tell him, I'm sorry... I don't want to worry him." I speak in code. I know the reasoning why he didn't want me to tell them about the man with me is the father. Just like that, Matthew's hand is released from my shoulder, leaving a cold spot. I may have imagined it or though that it was my own nerves, but was he shaking? Is he just as scared as I am?

"She's going to be fine. You know that, right?" His voice comes across with a quake I can barely distinquish. I nod.

"He... or she. I don't know which... Sprout, will be fine... Sprout has to be fine." I mutter and look over Matthew. There's not much more I can for the next three minutes except try to look over my better half. I consider him to be better just because without him, I would still be that talkative chick with a passion to fight and feel I can take on the world.

"You may be able to find out the gender when you arrive. You said you were twenty weeks, right?" I give a nod. "Yeah, that's probably a good time to see. When they do their exam, you should ask."

The light at the end of the tunnel, it seems. I wasn't due for another visit for a couple of weeks. Maybe, Matthew and I will be able to find out? A small grin appears on my face as the hovercraft starts to land.

It don't take no time at all and we've been brought inside the hospital. The doctor in charge of my care looks straight to Matthew with a raised eyebrow. "You the father...?"

"No... he's just a friend." I pipe up so Matthew don't have to and risk any more confusion.

"Immediate family or legal guardians only at this point, miss. Do you have contacts for your family members?" I shake my head.

"My brother is Peacekeeper Ruze... he is also my legal guardian. He's on duty... he can't be here. Please, I don't want to be alone. Let him come?" I plead with the doctor.

Routine questions. That's all they are. The same ones that the medic asked when they were assessing me in the hovercraft. I do answer them as they come. Mostly about the fight is what's still so fresh in my mind. Each part of my escape and rescue. The parts that I leave out are the ones that have me scared the most. The part of me trying to keep my savior alive. My head throbs a little as I shield myself from the light of the room when they add another light to the mixture. Doctor Wray talks to the nurse and asks her to get a dressing gown so that I can get the blood covered clothes off. With Matthew in the room, the nurse clearly gives him a once over and makes a motion for him to turn around. If only she knew that he and I have no secrets in this area.

"Let me help you dear." She tells me and in a matter of moments, the blood soaked clothes are removed and the gown covers me.

"What is your pain level, Miss Ruze?" Doctor Wray wants to know as he starts to touch my stomach, pushing gently on the sides. Only in one spot is it tender but he apologizes.

"It's not as bad as it was earlier." I tell him, and look to Matthew hoping it'll give him some form of relief. The nurse that's hanging out beside me, messing with an IV bag, looks to Matthew and her sight is set upon the blood on his hip.

"Sir, have you been looked at by our medics? You're bleeding." She goes over to him, and nods toward his hip, expecting him to react and to show her the wound that he's also incurred.

I turn my attention to the man as he brings this device out and tells me he's going to check on the fetus. Check to see if there is any underlying causes for the pain I was feeling. Could this be bad? Should I be worried? I want Matthew to be within arms distance of me, but he's not and he can't be. Not here. I feel like I'll have to suffer some bad news by myself even if he's in the same room.

"You'll need a few stitches, Sir. Do you want to follow me?" I hear in the background among their voices. I'm not sure what's goign on, but for him to need stitches is hardly any good.

"What happened? Matthew... are you okay?" I start turning my head as the doctor starts the procedure of using the machine and putting something cold on my stomach. A moment later, the sound of my baby can be heard. It sounds just like it did when Vy and I were at the hospital not more than a month and half ago. It might have been for the same reason that I am here. The men that I come into contact in my life just isn't healthy for me. However, the two that have hurt me the most is now no longer around... my father is in the DC while Jins...

I cringe. I don't even want to think of him at a time like this. I'm already torn between worrying that I've done something to harm my baby and await the news, while Matthew has been hurt as well. Why can't this all go away?

I have no idea what's going on behind me. All I know is that the nurse is fidgeting with Matthew and wanting to make sure he gets his hip looked at later. She even tapes something over a wound that I can barely see as the doctor sets to motion getting the gel over my stomach and starting the machine until I see the form on the screen. It looks similar to what I saw the last time with Vy, but this time, it's much bigger. I can't help the small smile seeing the movements as the device goes over my stomach, leaving trails of a tingling sensation going through my skin. The longer he looks, with little 'Mmhmm' noises, it's making me feel even more scared. I just know that whatever happened with me and Jins back at the house and the moments after Brody was shot and toppled backward on me was going to be bad. Something happened and I'm not sure what. Then just like that, I feel Matthew's hand on my shoulder. Instant comfort as I barely reach my hand up and touch his hand then release him as the doctor starts going over things as he looks and of course Matthew's ever present curiosity.

"Is that the baby?"

"That'd be the spine. Here is the head. Normal growth. Heart rate looks good. No water anywhere." I keep hearing all these things about my little Sprout but it's not a comfort. I dont' understand what's going on. I don't understand why he's just going over certain things without just straight up telling me if something is wrong. I bite back the need to let my emotions run away with me again. I'm trying hard not to cry. I'm really trying hard not to let this get to me and I don't want to be rude.

I just have to wait.

"The placenta looks good as well. No abruption." He says. Instantly, that sends a flood of relief because that word I understood. So, does that mean my baby is okay? Everything that just happened didn't effect my baby's health?

Then something else starts to occur. He touches my stomach and about the same time, I feel something throb. The same type of throbbing I felt earlier, only it isn't as bad. I'm not sure why, but it's still uncomfortable enough that I close my eyes and just take a deep breath.

"Yeah. I felt that."

"I think your body is starting to train for the big day. That was a small contraction." Is that all? Is that... all? Contractions? I can't be ready to have this baby now and it's voiced by Matthew as well. He voices the concern that is written on my face.

"Is she giving birth now?"

"I'm no where near my due date..." I stutter out but the doctor only smiles at me and puts the machine device down on the clip to hold it.

"Calm down. It's perfectly normal. Like I said, it's just your body starting to get ready for the real thing. Meaning, it's just false labor pains. It's just your body training your muscles for labor. Nothing more. Seems like your baby is doing well. You've done well, mom." He pats me on my hand and nods at me. "do you have any questions for me?"

INstinctively, I look at Matthew before asking, because I know we're dying to know what the gender is going to be. With that small scare out of the way, I can honestly say that my heart is finally done beating against my chest. "Can you see the baby's gender? I was told, I might be far enough along that you can tell me?"

He nods and gives me another grin. "Don't want to wait, do you? Well, we can see if the baby will give us a show and tell." He tells me and picks the device up again, and once again, puts a bit of the cold gel on my stomach. I shudder as he starts the machine again, and once again, the sound of his or her heartbeat comes alive to our ears. I wish I could enjoy this with Matthew more than just a potential 'friend' or 'authority figure' assigned to watch over me.

"155 heartrate... there's the baby's hand is right there. One second..." He says and starts staying in one spot. On the screen, it looks nothing like I'm used to seeing. It barely looks like the shape of a baby. Then with one more 'Mhm', he points to the screen. "That area... looks like... it's going to be a girl. Congratulations, Mommy."

A jolt of fear.

A girl? How can it be a girl? I know for a fact that Matthew is dead set on a boy. At least, he keeps claiming it to be a boy. Now that it's a girl, will he even want to be around? Will he be angry at me? At her? The little girl... my little girl - no - our little girl. She greets us on the screen and for a few more moments, I stare in disbelief that this may or may not be a good thing. I don't dare look at Matthew. I don't want to see the disppointment on his face. Instead, I let the happiness show on my face to think that I'll be able to hold a little girl in my arms. That I'll be able to coddle her and keep her safe. I'll get to tell her stories and protect her. Tell her how brave her dad is.

"There we go. Everything looks good, Miss Ruze. I'll give you a few minutes to relax while I get a nurse to get some bloodwork on you, okay?" He asks, and he quaintly steps out of the room. The room falls silent.

That fear is mulitplied into trillions of words. All of them surrounding me but they keep shouting the same thing at me that Matthew let slip just as the gender was revealed. 'Can we return it? Is there a refund?'. If the doctor didn't realize that Matthew was something more than just a friend at the 'we' part, he might as well lose his certification for his job. As it is, the fears running through my mind is justified by those remarks. I'm not sure if he was joking or being serious, but after everything that happened tonight, he's going to diss our child just because of the gender? Because Sprout is deemed a girl?

A girl!

For heaven's sake, she's healthy. She's going to be alright, and he's only commenting on wanting a do over? The silence in the room is broken by Matthew's first words. They not only hurt but they go right along with the words he said when the doctor was in.

"Can we buy her little..." I see the motioning and I feel everthing but joy. His reactions to finding out was suppose to be better than this, but now I regret even telling him that I was expecting his child. I knew I should have kept it to myself. Let him do his own thing and finish in that peacekeeper academy. It would be easier... it would be, right?

There's a slight burn in my throat as I refuse to speak to him. There was too much that happened today for me to just let this go. Matthew shot someone to protect me. Killed the man that has done nothing but make me wish for solitude and death. Now, it seems as though he don't want any of it.

"A girl... lucky me."

"What would you have said if it was a boy? Would you be happier then?" The bite in my tone would be best described as though I'd eaten something sour. Quickly, I bring a hand up to my face to rid myself of the tears forming. "How could you Matthew? Saying those things in front of the doctor? In front of me? It's OUR child... I can't believe you."

I just want to get out of this room. I want to be able to be the one to leave the room and leave him standing there with nothing but a confused look on his face. "If I had known you would reject her the minute you found out... I thought you had changed..." I bite my lower lip. "Get out, Matthew... please. Just leave us alone."

I place my hand on my stomach, rubbing softly to soothe the child inside as if the words would hurt her as well to hear what he had said. I close my eyes, waiting to hear the door shut. I just want to be left alone right now. I want to enjoy this moment that I can't...

He will never understand my pain. He'll never understand how much I fought to be nearer to him. What I did and what attitudes I suffered through for him. I won't let my daughter feel those pains. I stuck through this because I loved him before he even knew it. This tiny little baby will be depending on him to show her love and it took him forever to admit it just to me. She won't be able to do nothing but give love and how long till he even accepts her or shows her affection? Days? Months? Years? Would he ever accept a baby girl? With those jokes, as he claims, I feel like he's already rejecting her. It hurts to hear him bring up those words... no matter how innocent they were suppose to be. They cut deep into me.

I can't look at him. I can't even breath at this moment because I'm trying to keep from expelling the tears wanting to form. If I look at him, I fear what I may see. I'm scared to see that look on his face of disappointment. I know his history with girls. I know how much he detests them. The only ones he ever has been close to was me and Gala. Both of us has proven to him that we're worth it to be around. Sprout can't prove anything of worth to him to be around.

This changes everything.

"After all I've done for both of you, you're kicking me out because of a bad joke. I can't believe YOU!" The stinging words bite into my heart. He's even more angry then I imagine that he would be, but right now, I just need peace. I can't handle anymore stress then to think that he won't be wanting another girl in his life, despite making her himself.

I cringe and feel my head spin under my closed eyes. I let my head hit the back of the bed and feel a dull sensation of pain. That's when I remember the moments with Jins. They flash ever so presently in my mind when he pulled me back and shoved my head against the ground. His hands entangled in my hair to keep me under him while he wanted to kill me.

Hot tears sting my eyes as the door slams closed and I let the tears and the gasps escape my mouth as I keep my grip near my stomach. "I"m sorry Sprout. I'm so sorry..." I can't help but keep apologizing to the little girl that's never met either of us, but has heard us fight. I don't want her to experience what I did with my parents. I only turn my head into the pillow and feel the tears fall.

"What's got into him?" A voice breaks the silence in the room and I don't dare look up. The woman though comes to my side and places a hand on my shoulder and tries to coax me to look at her. "Are you in pain? Something wrong?"

I shake my head and only keep my silence all the while she starts to measure my stats again. Her gentle hands move over my arm, readjusting the cuff and starting to soothe me with her voice as she voices her congratulations on the baby girl. All the while, I finally settle into nothing but quiet sobs and then slow breaths as she commands that I need to calm down for the baby's sake.

"Mind telling me what happened? The man that was in here - did he do something? Do you know him?" She asks, trying to find out why she walked into the room with me in tears and him storming out of the room.

"How can you love someone so much yet hurt them at the same time?" I blurt out without thinking. The nurse, on the other hand, only gives off this little 'uhmm' noise as she finally understands. "I didn't want to hurt him, but I can't control what is given. He doesn't want a girl..."

"Seems to me that he only needs time to adjust. You're still quite young. I don't know what happened, but give him time. He'll come around. He'll also have to get used to someone whose very hormonal right now and with what you just went through, I think it's normal to get a little over-emotional."

"You won't say anything, will you? No one... knows." I try to tell her and she gives me a smile.

"My lips are sealed dear. Besides, what happens in here can only be discussed with your parent or legal guardian." Then it just strikes me. He was suppose to be here in place of my brother. He was suppose to be my support and everything else and he just left the room. He just left me alone.