Caranria Valencia Capitol done

The perfect star, a smile plastered upon a pale green face as emotions fill each word pouring from the womans dark red lips. Her song is heartwrenching, haunting, beautiful. Who wouldn't want the girl pictured in the magazines, her fiery red hair hanging down to her waist in soft waves as she smiles sheepishly for the cameras flashing as they snap pictures of the girl everyone sees as perfect.

The dress shimmers in a single spotlight as she allows her gift to be shared with the public. At the age of twenty seven, Caranria Valencia has become a superstar in the eyes of the media, eating up all the information they can from the 5'6" woman.
Have you ever fed a lover
With just your hands
Closed your eyes and trusted
Just trusted
Have you ever thrown
A fistful of glitter in the air
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said
I just don't care

It's only half past
The point of no return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before the lightning
And the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way

Have you ever hated yourself for
Staring at the phone
Your whole life waitin on
The ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently
You had to cry
Have you ever invited astranger
To come inside

It's only half past
The point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk befor the run
The breath before the kiss
And the fear before the flame
Have you ever felt this way

There you are
Sitting in the gatden
Clutchin my coffee
Callin me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for
An endless night
Lassoed the moon and the stars and
Pulled that rope tight
Have you ever
Held your breath
And asked yourself
Could it get better than tonight
Tonigh

Her voice echoed as the song came to an end and she smiled softly as the applause errupted from the crowd. She had a meet and greet after this with a few of her fans and it would be the same as it usually was; sign some autographs, shake hands, exchange kisses on the cheek, sing a little if she was up for it, then she would answer questions. To the audience, she was the perfect star but behind the violet eyes are secrets of an actress she will never share.

As soon as the meet and greet ends, I slump onto the couch in my dressing room, my mind in turmoil as I allow the façade to crumble into dust. It's currently almost midnight and while my body is exhausted, my mind refuses to shut off. Tonight will be another sleepless night as it usually is, on average, I only ever really get about twelve hours a week if I'm lucky, other than that, I just can't sleep. I don't know why.

Stripping off the glittering gown, I let it fall to the floor, knowing my stylist will take care of it. All my body wants right now is to curl up in a hole somewhere and die, the darkness that has eaten away at me for the last seven years blocking out the light that used to guide me through life. I used to be a happy girl with the feeling as if I could conquer the world but since my parents died, I seem to have spiraled out into darkness.

"Caranria, are you in there?" my manager, a small man by the name of Traysen, calls through the door, his knuckles rapping against the wood.

"Yes, come in" I call before realizing that I am in nothing but shorts and a tank top as he enters. Traysen entered my life shortly after my fifth birthday when my mother invited him for dinner at our house and he heard me sing for the first time. He has been an amazing teacher and has become like a second father to me. He is the reason why so many of the Capitols citizens know my name but they do not know the real me, they know the character I play on stage but Traysen knows the real me. He's watched as I have spiraled out, the hopelessness that sometimes threatens to overwhelm me he has seen. I should probably mention that he is the only one I have left now. The only person left who might actually still care about me. He has hired many specialists to help me get better and sometimes, it seems like it's working but then, two or three weeks later, it dissolves and things go back to the way they were, sometimes even worse than before.

"You need me for something?" I ask, my voice soft. He shakes his head.

"Just making sure you're still alive. Fantastic performance by the way." he says, a smile on his lips. I try to smile but I feel no joy. Some days, I can smile easily without it being a fake smile but since the last treatment, I have been unable to truly smile. If you look at pictures they have takwn of me, you will notice that the smile does not reach my eyes. I want this to end but I don't know what to do anymore, I've tried everything and had all types of treatments done but nothing seems to have helped. Maybe it will go away if I just end it.