Raven Roanoke|16|D7|FIN

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dylanmontana Hunter 75 POSTS last seen Feb 13, 2018 18:56:25 GMT -5	Raven Roanoke\|16\|D7\|FIN Oct 28, 2014 0:11:27 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by dylanmontana on Oct 28, 2014 0:11:27 GMT -5 Name\| Raven Roanoke Age\| Sixteen District\| Seven Face Claim\| Nina Burns Code\| ODAIR
	Last Edit: Nov 13, 2014 22:26:26 GMT -5 by dylanmontana

sbeeg
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Pronouns: she/they
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Raven Roanoke|16|D7|FIN Oct 28, 2014 13:28:24 GMT -5

Post by sbeeg on Oct 28, 2014 13:28:24 GMT -5

Hello.
My main problems with this bio as the same as what I posted to the other bio you are making for the character Thread Tosh. There is just simply not enough information about the character. What are her likes, her dislikes. What is her family like, what are their names? Her specific relationship with each of them? How does she see the world? Describe the way that she was raised that made her become standoffish.
You've also capitalized the first letter of words that do not need them, so I suggest going through it again.

I believe, at least for now, that you should concentrate on one bio or the other. Pick Raven or Thread to work on until it is accepted and then fix the other one. It'll be easier to focus on just one character instead of two at the same time, especially since these are your first characters on this site.

Please post in this thread once the changes have been made