tell you my sins {indigo/isaiah}

.  ISAIAH VENUS  .
blood and tears
they were here first

"For what it's worth, Kid, I've never had a more faithful servant." I hear him whisper even in my sleep. I hear him always, all of the time, nonstop. He follows me into my dreams and invades my daylight and because of what he preaches in his sermons I am too afraid to try and get rid of him. "Hell, I may keep you around for the rest of your life, who knows?" I am almost grateful, in a way. It's odd and I should not feel that but in a way, this thing is my only friend besides Indigo, and she has to be my friend. She was stuck with me from birth, and she hasn't been able to get rid of me since.

I wonder if I make her feel how my friend makes me feel. Terrified, useless, and at the end of the day, too weak to go on without me.

That thought brings tears to my eyes, and my friend is there in my ear. "You are right, you know. All you have is me. That girl... She has other things to worry about, Isaiah. It would be easier to just leave her. Leave them all, at that. Let me have all of you." I'm shaking now and it's so awful because he is right he is always right and now I am going to lose my sister and my best friend and my protector and the only one who has kept me sane through all of this. What did I do wrong? What did I -

No.

Indigo would never stop caring about me.

Would she?

"Yes!" he hisses, and I grip at my own flesh, wishing he would leave me alone, just go away go away go away but I can still feel the cloud of him hovering over my bed in the dark night. "No!" I scream out loud, and I can feel a bruise starting to form on my arm but I don't let go because hurting myself makes him disappear for a short while and I need him to be gone. Running never works, and sunlight only gives him a reason to hide inside my head.

I jump up and run as fast as I can down the halls and the stairs until I stand in front of Indigo's door. "You'll be sorry!" he tells me, but I knock anyway because it can't be true, can it? It can't. It isn't. It might be...

I walk inside with him gripping at my heart, almost like he is trying to pull me away from her, but I fight him. She sits perched in her bed, curly dark hair a mess and light eyes simple black pools in the darkness. My sister has always had a natural sort of beauty, though. She has never needed pretty dresses and fancy shoes to look appealing, and to me any guy would be lucky to have her. (But the amount of time she spends with that Mercury boy makes me uneasy. Any boy except him, any other one.)

Oh no. Damion Mercury. He has always been what I picture when I try to imagine my friend. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark clothes, dark soul. Indigo doesn't know, though, does she? She can't now how terrified I am of him, or she would stop spending time with him, wouldn't she? Or was my friend right? Was he...?

"Indi? Indi do you still love me? You do, don't you?" I ask in the silence, and it is only then that I realize a few stray tears still stream down my face. I hope the shadows are enough to conceal them because I don't want her to see me like this anymore. I don't want anyone to see me like this anymore. ("So run away with me then, Boy.")

Do you still love me, Indi?

Because if you don't, I'll have nothing left except the
darkness
that
dwells
within
me.

speak no feeling, no, I don't believe you
you don't care a bit, you don't care a bit