innocence /puppy/blitz/

She was going with the 'I'm going to the bathroom' excuse again along with trying to flatter me to get me to let her in. I can't help but laugh at her and raise my eyebrows again in a teasing manner. "If you were going to the bathroom, why were you facing this door?" I questioned her as I placed my hand on my chin in a deep thought. I squinted my eyes and looked around as if I were trying to think of an idea. I looked down at her and grinned. "Nice try, but lay a little bit down on the flattery next time I suggest." I tell her with a broad smile. I cross my arms, and stand there.

She had come up with another excuse, and it was pretty good besides the fact that the scream was a girl's and not mine. I had to admit, that one was pretty good but it was kind of fake at the same time. I mean, sure the scream would attract her but she'd know it wasn't me. She said she wasn't trying anything, and attempted to hug him. I accepted the hug being the oh so absolutely wonderful brother I was. But I knew better, she was trying to look around me when she was hugging me. I moved my body in front of her face while still blocking the T.V from her view. "So, uh what was that about not trying anything?" I asked her with a quizzical look.

As she tried to come off that she was going to the bathroom at that moment, I knew better. She was making sounds with her feet as if she were walking to the bathroom when it was practically right outside. I grinned, she was such a bad actress. I spoke, "If you want to see the games so bad, why haven't you ever thought of sneaking a hint while we're asleep? Besides, if you want to see it so bad I guess I should rewind to the Bloodbath so you can see the whole thing, right?" I asked her with a small smirk. I had resigned to saying that, but she'd probably be scared to see them as she would be so used to being shoved out of the room to make sure she wouldn't see them. I stood there with a smirk on my face, feeling accomplished in a way. I probably didn't convince her, but, it was worth a try.

Well, my attempt at using the thought of seeing the actual games would scare her had failed. She had apparently snuck in befofre and caught a glance, but thankfully, it was just mutts. She seemed eager to see them and I felt bad. I honestly did. No kids her age ever wanted to see the games because they've already seen it and they don't want to see the other tributes slowly linger down, slower and slower until only one remained. She wouldn't be able to take it, suddenly seeing all the blood. But I guess since that my twin and I have the same chances of being reaped, if we get reaped, that means nobody will be able to prevent her from seeing the games. She'd have to see them eventually, right? I let out a deep sigh, and look at her with serious eyes. "Do you want to see the games that bad?" I asked her.

I sighed. I couldn't even believe I was going to let her do this. My parents, and more important, my sister will kill me. Emmeline and I had promised each other we wouldn't show Lily the games, and here I was, breaking a promise. I felt bad. I really did, but I felt bad for Lily more because once we're out of the house or one of us are in the games, there'll be nobody to keep her from watching and it was better off letting her now. I let out a sigh of resentment, but it's too late to bring down her hopes now. A struggled "yes" forms from my lips, and I can't even bear staying here to see her reaction so I leave. I leave this room in hopes that she won't blame her soon to be lost innocence on me.


Because I don't want that.

The scream rung through the house by the time I got to the room again. She turned on the television and was scared. She was scared from the blood and the sudden thought of seeing death in front of her eyes unfold like a flower in bloom. I rushed into the room and turned off the television immediately. I had my eyes on her and her only. It was my fault she got into this mess and I have to fix it. As I sat down next to her I took her in my arms. I kept whispering to her and rocking her like a baby which normally annoyed her, but I didn't care in this situation.

"You're okay, I'm sorry. You're okay.." I whispered, my voice hoarse. I can't forgive myself for this, and never will.