Promises {Elidor oneshot}

Elidor Rhodes

Pain. Something I'm used to. Something I see every single day of my life with every step I take, but this was more than any pain I ever experienced. I didn't think anything when Crusader was reaped for the games. He was always so strong, but he was a gentle giant. I wasn't worried about him when I saw his training score. He did better than a lot of people, and it made me proud, but pride got in my way. Every second I watched for updates I wished with everything inside he would return home. His interview brought tears to my eyes, and only reminded me of how much I miss him, yet he was still alive. When the games began he attacked tributes like they attacked him, but he didn't fight long. He fled the bloodbath. He ran away with his allies before they quickly attacked someone else, but he didn't kill. Nobody killed anyone. Hopefully he remained true to himself. He could do it. I know he can.

I watched the pain register on his face the moment the tiny girl from ten killed a brutal career early on. Death was inevitable in the arena, and he just witnessed it first hand, but he stayed and helped them. He didn't leave them. He was a protector, and it was still hard to watch, but I had to. For him. That night the tiny girl walked away leaving them, and they ended up in a huge fight. The tiny girl from home killed his ally, his friend, and the others brutally attacked his other ally. I watched the tears fall from his face as he walked away, and it hurt me more than anything. I wanted to cry for him. I wanted to scream for him, but he remained true to himself. He kept his promise, and that's all I could ever ask for. The follow day he was free. He was alone in the dark surrounded by diamonds, but it caved in forcing him to run away, and he only ended up in the feast.

It was hard watching the feast. Everyone fighting. Crusader met up with the tiny girl from ten again. He tried to protect her, but he failed, and she died in his arms. Tears poured from my face when I watched him holding onto the limp body. I couldn't imagine the pain he was feeling as her cannon sounded. I knew he was angry and vengeful when after tossing her body into the chasm. I'm glad he did that. I'm glad he made it more difficult for the Capitol to get to her, but the moment he threatened Snow, I knew he wouldn't survive, but I was still hopeful as he ran away while the walls caved in around them taking the life of one other. I listened as he begged for forgiveness. All I could do was stare at the screen afraid to take my eyes away because I didn't want him to die. I didn't want my cousin's life to end in the arena. I had to be strong for him.

It was the next day I watched him fighting the career from one, and he was fighting to kill. I could see it in his eyes. Every time he lashed out anger was fueling it. I didn't want him to kill. I didn't want the arena to change him. I wanted him to stay true to who he was. I wanted him to be the man he always was, but I was helpless as I watched it go on. My heart shattered in millions of pieces when he cut the girl's leg off, and my heart cried out when she removed his foot. He was suffering. He was struggling. If I could've ran through the screen to rescue him, I would've, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. I just stood there as he stabbed her in the back. Not once, but twice, and the second time she fell, and her cannon sounded. Tears fell from my eyes. I wasn't sure what to think. He killed someone. He broke his promise to remain true to himself. My hands balled into fists as I looked at the screen. Nothing would change it. He murdered someone, and it didn't do anything because Stella died that same day.

Watching him in pain was more than I could handle, but I had to be strong. He would want me to be strong for him. I wiped the tears from my eyes. I wiped all the emotions off my face as he came closer and closer to returning home, but when he was fighting the girl from five everything was going wrong. She was distracting him making him do bad. He wasn't hitting her until he sliced her hand clean from her body. I begged him to stop. I begged him to leave her alone because she didn't deserve this. Nobody deserved this. Not those who had died. Not those who had ever entered the arena, but here he was fighting. Her words were harsh, and I wanted him to push through the pain. He had killed someone and he could do it again, but I saw the sword fall from his hands as she swung one last time.

"Crusader!"

My voice cracked as I stated at the screen. I couldn't move. Couldn't think. I just stood there staring as she took stuff from him the moment his cannon sounded. Why didn't he attack her? Why didn't he kill her? He was so close, but he let her go. He could've came home, but he didn't. My eyes turned towards the ground as people walked away from the screen. Both tributes gone. The tiny girl. And Crusader. He was gone. Gone forever, and I couldn't bring him back. I couldn't save him. I couldn't protect him, but he didn't need me. He remained true to himself. He protected the girl from five. He let her live. In the end he kept his promise, but he's gone. I won't ever see him again. I won't ever get to talk to him again. I... I don't know what to do as people gather around me offering do condolences. I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me. I don't want the pity of those surrounding me.

I want them to be proud of Crusader and Stella.

I want them to remember them with a smile.

It's what Crusader will want.

And for him, I'll be strong.

I promise.

I promise.