somebody get me outta here : {aza}

don't you ever feel lonely,
love will make it alright

Last night was a drag.  I was constantly being awaken by the gentle winds hurling themselves against the small tree a few doors down.  The familiar murmur of the rustling of the leaves and branches slapping themselves silly against each other was getting boring, I longed for some sleep.  Eventually, I found a train of thought which made me peacefully drift off into the unknown world of a dream, but it was certainly after a long time.

The morning was dull. The same old sounds of my siblings pouring their drinks and cereal was too plain, I had a hunger inside me which longed for something different and unique.  It never came.  Even I managed to fall back into the routine that I hated so much.  As I moved to sit down, a bowl in my hand and a spoon in the other; I notice my parents are gone.  The thought of where had crossed my mind for a split second before I guess that they'd be on their way to their beloved centre.  They were probably waiting for me to get there.  The idea of bunking training for once sent a surge of electricity through my veins, escaping as my once plain face burst into an eager smile.  Upon chewing the last of my favourite cereals, I grab my shoes and coat and put them on clumsily and head outside.

The breeze from the shore has a sweet salty scent to it that floods my nose, surrounding me happily in it.  I close my eyes, admiring the air before taking a step down from my peeling front door.  For a moment, I thought I'd missed the step so I opened my eyes in horror, but the wooden plank was just loose. I'll tell my father to fix that - if I can remember.

Walking on the stony path, I feel a sudden urge to spin around and burst out with song.  Heavens knows why, I hate those corny things you read about in books. I just let the energy push itself around my body to make it happy.  I continue walking down the path, people heading the other direction flash me polite smiles which I return with a perky wave.  I begin to pass the houses and head into the row of shops.  A lot of people stood before me, all older - of course.  I stuff my hands into my coat pockets and keep my head down hoping that no one will catch me for some small talk.  

It's less busy down the far end, thankfully. I can take my hood down and feel the wind in my hair once again.  All the shops I pass I've been into before - same old shops selling the same old things.  I keep looking around, one shop catches my eye.  I see the quick hand turn the "closed" sign to now say "open". Huh, they must've forgotten - they surely can't be opening up this late?  I approach the pasty white door, pushing it open gently.  I inhale a quick breath as I hear a bell chime above my head. It scared me.

"The owner isn't here."

I hear a voice say.  I look up to see a book held up by two hands.  I can't see a face, but as I edge closer towards the counter and open my mouth to begin speaking, the books falls onto the counter.

"Do you sell writing paper. . ?"

don't you ever feel lonely,
love will make it alright

"Uhhh..."

She says.  She drops the book quickly, revealing a pair of beady eyes which are staring directly at me.  It's like she's giving me the "all clear"? Perhaps she's just new to this job, or maybe she's just rude.  After a minute of what seemed like an hour, the silence came to and end.

"I'm sure we do, you can just go look around."

I nod my head like I've been hypnotized. Stupid.  Why didn't I think of that before? Normally I do, it was probably the build up of excitement which made me walk straight to the cashier. I exhale a brief sigh before turning around and looking over the many, somewhat organised, shelves.  

I hear the bell again - this time it didn't scare me. At least, not in the same way it did before.  More of a subtle startle.  A boy enters the shop and as I peer over towards the cashier, I can tell she fancies him. The way she gives a small smile and hesitant nod in response to a muffled question I couldn't quite hear gives it all away.  I shrug it off and continue heading around the shop.  I pray that I find this paper quick.

I look high and low on these shelves. I don't want milk, nor flour, not pencils. Pencils. I must be getting close.  It feels like I'm trying to find out who murdered someone, in this case: it was the writing paper.  If I was writing paper, where would I be?  I think for a moment, running a hand through my hair before placing it into my pocket to fiddle with the few coins I have to spend.

Suddenly, I feel a tug on my arm. I frown and turn around to see it's the cashier girl.  What is she doing? Whatever it is, I'm sure she doesn't need to hold my arm so firmly. I don't want bruises.  She opens her mouth and begins to speak in a somewhat hushed tone.

"Pretend I've been helping you this whole time, okay?"

There's a pause before I respond.  She's been rude to me as soon as I entered the shop, and I can tell she's only asking me to do this because of that boy who came in.  Does she want to impress him? Probably.  The real question is: do I want to play along? I should, but I don't want to.  I flash her a sickly sweet smile.

"Sure."

She mutters something to herself which I can barely hear. Something about the writing paper.  She begins to search frantically for it showing much more enthusiasm that she did before. Strange.

don't you ever feel lonely,
love will make it alright

She has a sense of relief in her expression when I nod in response to her. I think she thinks I'm playing along.  Well, of course. I nodded to say that I was. I'll only do it until I see a perfect point to drop my bombshell and duck for cover.

She quickly heads behind the counter, grabbing a small note which her eyes flicker across quickly. Does she know that she's still holding my arm? I hope so, because I can feel her grasp getting tighter, strangling me, and starving my hand from the blood it's hungry for.

Her eyes keep drifting slowly back to the boy.  Now, it's obvious she wants to impress him - if the previous signs weren't enough. I narrow my eyes at her, looking her up and down similarly to how she did when I entered the shop. She doesn't see my judgmental looks - thankfully, but she turns to me and begins speaking.

"Look, I gotta be honest, I got no clue where any of this stuff is,"

She pauses for a short moment.  Letting her grip loose on my arm. I crunch my fingers, thankful for the sensation I feel as they touch my palm.

"But for you, I'll look."

She continues. Finally, the good customer service that everyone who is anyone expect from their average store.  I'm almost certain that I'd do a far better job than her, even with no training. How hard can it really be?

I follow her off into the store.  It's not a very big shop, it's average. Not corner shop small, but not supermarket big.  A nice size, in my opinion at least.  I can tell that she's starting to make an effort.  She tiptoes to see where everything is and keeps leading me around every corner that this shop has.  I feel as if by the time I've found this writing paper,  I would have explored every nook and cranny. 

A sudden realisation sweeps across her face, and she gestures me to follow. I hope she's found it.  If not, I won't be impressed.  

don't you ever feel lonely,
love will make it alright

I can tell she's started to get annoyed.  Her face is starting to get more and more tense each time I manage to steal a glance. 

She leads me around the shop, eventually finding ourselves at the front.  I look up and see the bell which once scared me so much when I first entered.  It feels like I've been in here hours, I hope I haven't.  I'm beginning to regret not going to train - for this is much, much more boring and is certainly testing my patience. Something training never does.

Suddenly she makes a darting run towards a shelf, kneeling down next to a small box.  Containing paper. Finally. It's filed neatly in the box, which is strange. Everything else doesn't seem to look that ordered. Although, it's obvious that the owners have tried to group some things together.

"So, uh-"

I can see her glance back to the boy who keep looking over to us.  I wonder if he's wondering if anyone is manning the cash register.  I hope there aren't any others customers waiting aimlessly to be served.

"What color do you need?"

I mull the question over in my head before making a response.

"Pale green."

I say. I don't need any particular colour - in all honesty.  However, I like how this girl is reacting.  I like it so much that I may just continue to irritate her for my own pleasure.  At least, I wish I could.  This place isn't what I expected it to be, and quite frankly - I'd like to leave soon.

As I look around us, I see the boy edging closer to us. Maybe he'll come and approach in a moment or two, perhaps not.  Either way, I hope he's seen the way I've been treated.

She turns back to me, opening her mouth to speak.

don't you ever feel lonely,
love will make it alright

She begins to dig through the box, many different shades of vibrant greens catch my eye.  A grassy green, a khaki and a sea green. Eventually she rummages around enough to pick out a small pack of pale green paper.

"Follow me, I guess."

Her attitude is really beginning to annoy me. Does she think that she's subtle in her rudeness? Is she really just doing this for the boy who keeps wandering around, catching her gaze every now and again? It's sad, honestly. Life doesn't revolve around a good looking guy. It shouldn't. It shouldn't - because life's too short.

I am lead over to the desk with the cash register. Her facial expression makes a gradual shift from normal to utter confusion. She stares blankly at it for a few seconds. I think she's new to working here. It's taken me long enough to figure that out, but now I'm almost certain it's true.

"Okay."

I hear for a split second. Her voice is hushed and quiet as her eyes begin to skim and scan over the desk. She notices a pen and paper and scribbles something onto it - something I can't read. Out of nowhere, her hand produces a receipt for me, which I take slowly, looking over it quickly before stuffing it into my pocket where I hear it crunch slightly.

She looks through the drawers and pulls out a folder and gives it to me. I tilt my head, questioning myself on what it's for. I assume it's meant to be to carry the paper. I flash her a crooked smile.

"You're welcome."

Funny - I think. I never said 'thank you'? I place my hand in my pocket, my head still tilted, now awkwardly at her before I finally pull out a few coins which I hope will cover the cost.

"Thank you."

I say, slowly. I mince my words and make sure she understands just how I'm feeling right now. My eyes give a speedy look at the coins I pulled out, before I place them onto the desk in front of me. My hand shifts itself onto my hip as my right leg rests as I wait for her to say that's a good amount.