Shake Your Bones :: (Nino Ripley // A Series Of Oneshots)
Jan 3, 2015 21:07:15 GMT -5
Post by L△LIA on Jan 3, 2015 21:07:15 GMT -5
Back pressed to the wall, my breathing is ragged and desperate. This is the panic of entrapment. There's a back door to the bar, but that doesn't mean there's a way out for me. No. My lungs are shredded — I am raw — and my pulse is set to the pace of madness; I can't escape from this. I used to think about having Ursula here, of elbowing Uma in the ribs while waggling my eyebrows and shamelessly bragging about how my girl was the prettiest goddamn girl in this whole wicked hellhole of a country. That blonde bombshell, Iggy Avé, she'd be swinging her world record hips on the stage in the background and tossing her hair and I wouldn't waste a single glance on her. How could I? Love is a kind of reckless blindness. Nothing else exists when your heart is raging. It's a beating and you take every black eye and bruise with a smile. That girl of mine knows how to throw a punch and I don't like her being here. I tell myself it's because I don't want Bast to see how sharp her knuckles are and offer her a job. I tell myself it's because I don't want Bast to see how pretty her face is and offer her another kind of job. I tell myself a lot of things and I know jealousy well enough that none of them are lies, but none of them are the reason I caught a glimpse of her reflection in the whiskey glass I was cleaning and immediately bolted to the back room either. Jealousy isn't why I'm slamming my head into the wall repeatedly and calling myself an idiot, over and over and over and over and — The last time I caught a glimpse of her was an echo of her face in her brother's eyes, as Harper came outside to sit on the back stoop of the Libertine's pawnshop with me. He pitied me for the way I'd been out there, abandoned for I-don't-even-know-how-long — doggedly determined to wallow in her silent rejection. He was wearing one of her sweaters and he smelled like her and I hated him for it, so much so that that was why I finally walked away. It wasn't because I'd given up on her. I don't know how to do that. This glimpse wasn't like that though... it's really her out there, sitting at the bar, sipping a drink like coming here is nothing. There's a back door to this bar and it's not a way out for me, but I walk straight on through into the night anyhow. |
