Ezekiel Alexander d6

"Hurry up. Quick." A panicked voice called out through dark. "Come on, Haley, we don't have much time." My brown eyes turn towards my younger sister straggling so far behind. It pained me knowing she couldn't keep up, but we had a place to go. "But Zeke..." Her quiet voice rang through the night sky as a shooting star shot across the face of the earth, and I had this gut feeling we didn't have much time. Soon people would be swarming, asking questions, and all I could think about was the pain it would bring Haley. "Haley, we don't have time. Hurry. Come on. She's sick. Dad doesn't think she'll survive the night. Come on. We have to be there." A single tear ran down my face catching on the edge of my tiny lips before falling away forever. It's been so long since I've truly cried, but I can't. I have to me strong. Mom's sick, deathly sick, and I already broke my promise by sneaking out, but I promised to protect her, to protect my entire family, even if the sky fell. I'd rather die than witness them die, which is why I'm here right now with Haley.

A small package dangles in my hands. A package of different medicines with any hope of saving my mom. She's so important, and all the tricks we've tried hasn't worked. Nobody knows what's wrong with her, and it breaks my heart. But I'm running as fast as I can with dark clothing shielding myself from the moon and streetlights. My eyes turn down the alley before turning back to her. She's so young, so innocent, and she shouldn't have came with me; she's only slowing me down, but her pleas to help were more than I could tolerate. "Haley, come on. You're almost here. Hurry. I'll carry you the rest of the way." Each word had meaning. I knew leaving time was running out, but I'm so close. So close to home, yet it feels so far away. And Haley's running. I can hear the sounds of her feet pounding against the gravel with every single step. It doesn't take long for me to kneel down, and her tiny body crawls on. Hands wrapped around my neck, and I take off running as fast as I can. My shaggy dark blonde hair flies in every direction, but I don't stop. I can't stop. It's only when I reach the door I stop, and I'm greeted by my dad's tearful eyes. My heart dropped into my stomach faster than I could say hello.

We were too late.

I was sixteen.

A man is supposed to protect their family no matter what. Two years ago I failed. Breaking the promise I made so many years ago. And I can't forgive myself. Many times I blamed Haley for being so slow, but it wasn't her fault - it was mine. Her and dad love tossing the blame on me. I accept it without throwing anything away. A promise is a promise no matter what. I pray every night for mom to forgive me, but it's never enough. She's too far away. So much has changed in those two years. Dad remarried, and I absolutely despise his new woman, but the promise goes for her too. If the heavens opened up spilling rain on top of her, and she had nothing to protect herself with, my jacket would shield her. It's only right. Make a woman love me when nobody else in the world cares. Proving to them words are more than words takes a lot of effort, but it's a challenge I'm up to every single day. Sometimes I feel under appreciated. It's part of it, though. I deserve every bit of wrath thrown upon me. "My dear Ezekiel, you really have let yourself go." Gee. Thanks, but in a way I guess she's right.

Dark bags sit underneath my red stained eyes. I can't count how many days I've gone without sleep, but there comes a time when my body gives in, and I pass out. Scruffy facial hair rests horribly across my chin. Fever constantly consumes my body leaving me a deathly pale. It makes me sick day after day as sleep deprivation climbs further and further into my life. A temper flares at the smallest thing, but it all changes when I sleep. My color returns, but when I close my eyes I'm haunted by the images of my dad's tearful eyes, my mom's dead limp body as I tried to save her with cpr, Haley's scornful face as she yelled at me, dad remarrying, all of them embedded deep within my brain refusing to leave. I have to be strong. Even if it seems impossible, but I'm so weak and fragile. Mom always said I was strong. If I was strong, she would be here today. It's nights when I pass out nobody visits me. Haley stays away. Dad celebrates life with his new woman, and I lock myself away from the world allowing my body the chance to rejuvenate from the sorrows of life.

Mom taught me a lot in life. She taught me almost everything I know. First aid, cpr, caring for people. She was a medic at a hospital, and I wanted to be just like her. Many nights I stared at the night sky imagining what it would be like to walk to work with her every single morning. One day she took me with her. It was an amazing experience in general. So many people need help in the world. So many sick people. So many broke and hurting, and I made a promise to help as many as I could. It's how I knew where the medicine was the night I ran away from home long enough to snatch it from the sealed cabinets. Maybe if I was faster, she would be here still. Now I actually work as a medic. Keeping every single promise I made. Haley said I was a god. I wanted to believe her, to throw me ego through the roof, but there isn't any way possible for me to be a god. Gods save people, and I can't save everyone. I couldn't save my own mother. And it hurts going through life. "Rememeber, Zeke, you can't save everyone. Even if you try your hardest." It wasn't until she died I understood the meaning of that simple phrase.

I'll never forget the first time someone died in my arms. A young person. We did everything we could. Cpr, rescue breathing, anything possible, yet it wasn't enough. I held her in my arms. A river exploded from my eyes. My heart shattered into millions of pieces. One moment she was talking to me like I would with my family, but the next moment she was unresponsive. No heart beat. No pulse. Nothing. The way her ribs popped under the weight of my body as I pushed down on her chest was horrible. Sweat poured from my brow endlessly. Adrenaline surged throughout my body keeping me going, and I wanted to save her. "Ezekiel, she's gone. We can't do anymore. She's dead." It took every person in that room to pull me away from her. It irritated me to no end knowing they gave up on her, but after two hours of cpr it was pointless to try. I was demolishing a corpse. I did everything I was trained for. Every little piece of knowledge I had went to saving her, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't save her.

A wall formed around me, protecting me, from the pain of losing someone. Even people I never met before tore away pieces of my heart little by little. Emotionally detaching myself from patients was a hard task, but I eventually managed, yet losing someone hurts. Crying isn't an option anymore. Bottling my emotions away works best. A smile spreads wide across my face while working. Caring for people is more than a job, it's a passion. Bringing a smile to their face is more important than anything. Holding a hand while someone dies is one of the hardest things I'll ever do. "I'll be with you. I'm right here. I promise I won't leave you. It's okay. You aren't alone." Words the dying need to hear. Dying alone is a huge fear of mine, and many I've talked to. Sometimes family doesn't care I'm general, and it blows my mind away. I made a promise to protect and care no matter what. My worse enemy could be in bed dying, and I would help him. It's not a job. It's a passion. Loving and caring. Mom gave the citizens everything she could. Her happiness. Her joy. Her life, and I will do the same.

I will make her proud.

Life was going well. I was finally dealing better with the loss of my mom. Haley was talking to me again. Dad and his woman were loving one another. Sleep found its way towards me, and most nights the nightmares left, yet they sneak in some nights. I've taken care myself. I've shaved my facial hair leaving my face smooth, yet it had need so long I ended up with razor burn. I talked to my new mother more. I addressed her with respect. She began respecting me. But it all changed in the blink of an eye. All I did was work. I'd rarely return home because of the long hours put into making lives a little less heavy, but the weight pressed heavily against my frail body until I pushed them all away. I isolated myself. Especially when Haley became my patient. She's sick. Deathly sick like mom was. I couldn't save mom. I couldn't save many patients. Haley thinks I'm a god. If there is some sort of higher being, I pray every second they'll save her.

I promised to protect her.

And I pray I don't fail.

Like I failed Mom.

What if I'm far from home?
Oh, brother I will hear you call.
What if I lose it all?
Oh, sister I will help you out!
Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you,
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do.


Eighteen
Male
District 6
oDair