names in the sky | {fray family}

KELLAN ♛ F R A Y

I guess I have grown accustomed to the meetings that now frequent my family's training center after hours. There once were only eight children in our home, eight mouths for my parents to feed, eight beds to be made every morning, eight toothbrushes in the cabinet above the bathroom sink. Now there are so many that I don't even bother keeping track anymore. Every time we have one of these stupid meetings, it is so that our parents can announce the arrival of our newest sibling, and every time we are expected to greet the bottom feeders of our District time and time again with warm hearts and happy smiles.

Which basically means our parents want us to fail. It is to be expected these days. It seems they blame us for fate's cruel hand, that it is our fault a slip of paper with one of our names written on it has not been chosen in front of everyone. That's the only reason all of these new faces, some of which I haven't even bothered to remember the names of yet, are here. Because I have impatient, illogical, insane parents.

We all stand on our own or in small groups in the central area, all quietly waiting for my dad to get in front of us all and announce that, once again, none of us are good enough for the games it would seem, and they are on a mission to find someone who is. "The bigger our numbers, the better the chances, right?" My mom would say after.

Ripred, they are pathetic.

However, they surprised all of us when they made their appearance as only a pair, rather than some unwashed trash shadowing them. Even I craned my neck and bit my bottom lip in confusion. My mother cleared her throat, smiling a humorless smile at each of us, and then began speaking. "Hello children. As you all know, the reaping is fast approaching. Your father and I believe we have increased our chances of finding more permanent financial security by a good bit by adopting some of the district's most promising... ah, underprivileged children. We have spent every day training everyone in this room. Some for as long as you have been alive, some for as long as you have been a part of this family." I cringe. I don't even want to be a part of this family anymore, so I can only imagine how the other must all feel, living in my shadow and wishing they could contain at least enough talent to challenge me.

My father picks up just as my mother stops: "The thing about reapings, we've realized, is that none of us have control over them. We cannot help whose name is called. But, what is one thing we can do?

"Volunteer." I say aloud, and then it hits me.

He wants one of us to volunteer.

"Yes, volunteer. Any of you could do it. So, if all works out, one of you will be reaped and this won't even be an issue. But in the event that things don't happen like we have planned, your mother and I need to know you'll do what it takes to put yourself on that stage. Can we count on you?"

I don't answer.

Not because I don't plan on volunteering: I do. I'll be the best tribute district one has ever seen. But I am not doing it for them. I'm doing it for myself. I find my fists clenched at my sides. What if someone else volunteers before me? What if one of my own brothers takes away my last chance of the games? Kaiser would do it just to spite me. Maddox would because he thinks he is better than me, and Justice because, whether he cares to admit it or not, wants nothing more than to be me. All of the illegitimate children would do it just to feel loved by my parents, which is a joke, since they only love themselves (any true career does.)

I scoff, and then I turn and head for the exit, even as my father shouts after me, and I slam the door behind me.