xanthe d10 heavy wip

ghosty Mentor 2,134 POSTS Pronouns: he/him last seen Dec 5, 2022 12:52:02 GMT -5	xanthe d10 heavy wip Jan 25, 2015 18:24:48 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ghosty on Jan 25, 2015 18:24:48 GMT -5 Name: xanthe finn Age: sixteen Gender: female District/Area: ten Codeword: odair
	Last Edit: Mar 6, 2015 15:57:08 GMT -5 by ghosty

ghosty Mentor 2,134 POSTS Pronouns: he/him last seen Dec 5, 2022 12:52:02 GMT -5	xanthe d10 heavy wip Jan 25, 2015 18:37:16 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ghosty on Jan 25, 2015 18:37:16 GMT -5 XANTHE BOYD we go out on our own, it’s a big bad world outside Appearance: Xanthe has blonde hair. Sparkling like a glass of water in sunlight, like watered down honey. A delight Personality: Xanthe History: Xanthe
	Last Edit: Mar 10, 2015 13:19:38 GMT -5 by ghosty

ghosty Mentor 2,134 POSTS Pronouns: he/him last seen Dec 5, 2022 12:52:02 GMT -5	xanthe d10 heavy wip Jan 30, 2015 15:55:36 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ghosty on Jan 30, 2015 15:55:36 GMT -5 this may make no sense at all, but it is finished!

sbeeg
Retired Staff

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xanthe d10 heavy wip Jan 31, 2015 20:39:57 GMT -5

Post by sbeeg on Jan 31, 2015 20:39:57 GMT -5

Hey there Ghosty! This is a nice bio but there needs to be a few changes before it can be accepted.
First of all, there's no appearance at all. You say she looks like her aunt Elle but never tell us what Elle looks like. You say she's pretty but that's it. Remember you need at least two paragraphs of appearance. Also, we don't know anything about Xanthe's personality at all. Yes, she feels trapped but what are some hobbies she does being in the house all day? Does she go to school? Does she know how to read? We need more details on Xanthe as a person. I get more information about her mother than her. This is a good start but you need to add a lot more before she can be called a fully realized character.

Once these changes have been made please post in this thread again and staff will take another look.
Thanks^^