Cade Lothbrok D2 (done)

Name: Cade Lothbrok
Age: 18
District: 2
Family: Ragnar
Odair
Career

Appearance:

It's funny. Really. Ragnar always pushing me around like I'm some scrawny weak kid that can't do nothing. I don't think I'm weak. I have muscles, and I'm strong from all the career training. I can lift a lot. I can throw heavy items a decent distance, but I can't run fast. I have too much muscle mass. One thing I like to point out to my brother all the time is, I'm taller than him. Granted it's by an inch, but still, I stand six foot tall, and he only stands five foot eleven. Maybe that'll help me out someway. Training isn't easy. And I trained a lot on my own. It wasn't much, but now when I walk away, I have cuts and scratches all over my slightly pale skin. It seems impossible for me to get a tan, or even a sunburn for that matter because I'm always inside the center from sun rise to sun set. Most of the time before that, and I have the dark bags under my brown eyes to prove it. All I want is to sleep before I collapse dead on the floor, yet sleep never finds me. The moment I drift off, he's waking me up again. Telling me it's time to train.

Whenever he says the word training, my head falls forward weighted down with slightly shaggy blonde hair. It usually looks like I've just climbed out of bed, which most of the time is true, because I can never close my eyes longer than a few minutes. Sleep deprivation takes over leaving the whites of my eyes bloodshot, and I have no energy. At all. It's horrible, and I wish this life would change since all I want is being my own person. My own self not controlled by anyone. I have no energy. Pushing the covers down in the morning takes so much work. Sometimes after training, I've used so much energy, a nasty looking vomit coats my face leaving an awful taste in my mouth. It took practice, but I finally became able to swallow it. I don't want to look weak. Not in front of him, my brother, but when he pushes me the hardest, I can't help it anymore. Cleaning vomit from my hair isn't how I plan on spending my evenings. Apparently he wants me to be a brute. A huge career like the ones many people see in the arena. Not some scrawny wimp from a lower district. No matter what pain rests across my body, it's all worth it in the end.

Personality:

I remember my brother Ragnar always pushing me to be the best. Whether it was in career training or just general things in life. At first I resented him so much. How could I not? No matter when I wanted to stop it was not enough for Ragnar. If I had an accident such as some cuts on my body or throwing up, he would push me until I collapsed in exhaustion. I could do hardly a thing about it either. If I tried to avoid the center well he'd find me and somehow someway get me back there. I didn't like it one bit. I wanted to be my own person not someone being molded into this cold-hearted career. Being one didn't guarantee a thing. That evidence is in the previous games. We as a district have not won in years.

Still my brother wants to mold me into something more to his liking. Someone like him. Sometimes I suspect he has no care in the world when it comes to my well being. I'm afraid of him. I don't know what happened to him as I grew up, but he's a complete stranger to me. Then he disappeared out of thin air. I have no clue what has befallen him, but now I have a chance to be who I want. I've kept up my training as without that routine in my life it would feel like a part of me is missing. I may not like what my brother has done to me over the years but I know in the end he's just looking out for me. He might be dead for all I know, but I make him proud even it I don't want to become a mindless drone.

And a mindless drone is what I become, at least on the outside. Fighting every single chance I have. Showing people I'm the best, I'm a beast, like my brother, but on the inside everything is different. A constant war rages on in my mind. Hurting people is wrong, and I don't want to kill someone. Ragnar would kill me if he knew what was going on inside my mind, but he's not here. His memory is the reason I keep going. He's the reason I fight with every ounce of strength I have. Hurting people. It's what he would want, yet on the inside I feel like I'm falling apart. Im throwing up. I'm crying, but none of that shows anymore. I'm becoming someone I never wanted to be. Someone my brother created.


History:

I remember growing up that I had a friend who would stick by me in training. We pushed each other day in and day out. When one of us made a mistake the other would most definitely hear about it. Things weren't so bad until I got around the age of sixteen. That's when my brother Ragnar took an interest in my life. Yeah I trained to be a career but more for my own benefit versus district pride. Don't get me wrong I don't want to fail the district should I be reaped, but I want to know a few things not let blood and broken bones be my lifestyle. Funny enough my brother's intentions were just that. He kept demanding I train with him and what could I do? He's my brother. So we began a more grueling training regime. Waking up early and train late into the night. If we left the academy it wouldn't stop us. We'd go back home and work there. This regime broke my friendship with the girl I intended to be with for the rest of my life. She's still around and I do see her time to time, but we don't speak much anymore. All because I began to be a carbon copy of my brother.

He stood by my side every second of the day ruining my life. I hated every second of it. I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to collapse and die. Maybe then he'd finally leave me alone, yet I could hear his voice taunting me as I rested under the ground. Dying wasn't an option. I grew stronger training, and I was becoming a horrible person on the outside. The brother I once looked up to, wasn't who I thought he was anymore. He wanted to be in the games. To bring honor to the district, but now he's gone. I don't know where he went. And at first, I felt relief. When Ragnar disappeared, my life changed. I slacked off training for a while. I didn't want to train. I was done, and I enjoyed the sleep that finally came. Each night grew easier and easier. I didn't have a hardcore man yelling at me. Telling me to keep going when I wanted to give up. It was amazing. I enjoyed the life of freedom. Training wasn't a necessity anymore. Each time I walked passed it I could feel it pulling me towards the training. I resisted for a while, but one can only do so much before finally giving in.

I turned towards training because it what's he wanted. He's gone, and he's probably dead, and I might not ever see him again, and it fuels me. I stepped foot into the training center picking up the largest sword I could find. I swung against the dummies slicing them into pieces. The monster he placed inside me erupted through my skin taking control leaving me inside, and now I fight with myself. I want to train to show him I care for him, and that I really do miss him. It was wrong of me not to miss him. Each day I challenge people. Looking for those with the best aim, or those with the best ability, and I learn from them. Challenging them became a game. Whoever won was the strongest of all. Ragnar challenged people a lot. He challenged them because he had a lot of skill to show off. The first time I challenged someone, I lost. I have the scars to prove it. None of them are bad, and in fact, I hope he comes home because I want to show him that I want to fuel the monster more, but don't get me wrong. The little tiny voice inside my head, my conscience, tells me not to hurt people because it's wrong. And all I say back to myself is shut up. I'll master the ability of sword fighting. I'll show them. I want him to come back home because I have a lot to show him. And I hope all my hard work makes him proud. That's all I want. For my brother to be proud of me. To make me feel accepted. Not just another person he pushes around. Is that too much to ask for? I sure hope not.