scream | {hedvig/keifer} blitz | Hunger Games: The RPG

dars
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scream | {hedvig/keifer} blitz Feb 7, 2015 22:02:48 GMT -5

Post by dars on Feb 7, 2015 22:02:48 GMT -5

k e i f e r d e g r a w

We talked just yesterday.

We laughed and joked about which of us would win if we were in the games, discussed how much tessera we had bought a piece, how great our chances were, all over a few rolls in our place. (The one place we both felt at home in: the fight ring.) We had finished things off early because of what was to come the next morning, and since neither of us really wanted to head back to our homes just yet, we had decided to both pitch in and buy a few snacks, head back to the ring, and burn as much time as possible. And now she was on the stage, taking the place of a girl with icy eyes and a sunny heart. Now she was on stage leaving me behind, and I was too shocked to move -- to shocked to breathe.

We talked just yesterday.

But it felt like it happened years ago. A part of me grew fearful: Would it eventually become years since I had heard my ~~girlfriend's~~ best friend's voice? As soon as I was allowed, I broke into her holding room and pulled her tight against my frame. "Dammit, Heddy!" Is all I could say.

"Dammit!"

^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

tris 🍒
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scream | {hedvig/keifer} blitz Feb 7, 2015 22:41:24 GMT -5

Post by tris 🍒 on Feb 7, 2015 22:41:24 GMT -5

HEDVIG

FABRE

I pray that as the door to my chamber swings open, it won't be him. That of all people who will waltz in and give me such sweet condolences in reference to my forthcoming death, it won't be him that places the first rose on my undug grave.

"Damn it, Heddy! Damn it!"
-- and, damn it, if I don't nearly break into a thousand pieces when he pulls me into his arms.

"Keifer," I gasp, like I have so many times before. He curses at me, and I don't blame him. We always made fun of the Games, about how easily either of us could take it by storm, but-... We never realized that it could ever become reality; that when one of us entered Hell, it wouldn't be as the team we've always been:

I'm alone.

It's a sudden realization, albeit obvious as it is, and I have to clench my jaw not to whimper. That this-... This could be the last time that my fingertips touch his flesh; that all of those late night kisses, all of those passionate cries, and all of our moments just being fucking happy -- I could be ending them and destroying them, right here and now.

I want to tell him that I'm sorry, but stubborn as I am, I only shake my head and rise up on my toes. My lips collide with his, and I don't regret it.

Not a thing.

Not putting my life on the line, not leaving him and Amberly behind, but-...

If I am to die, at least I'll die with the memory of how soft the flesh of his lips are against my own. At least I-...

"I-...," I start, wanting so badly to say how I've always felt, but-...

I love you.

"I'm sorry, but I don't regret it."

X

all my girls got their lace and their crimes.

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scream | {hedvig/keifer} blitz Feb 7, 2015 22:55:32 GMT -5

Post by dars on Feb 7, 2015 22:55:32 GMT -5

k e i f e r d e g r a w

I could not yell at her.

I could not be mad at her.

Those things meant I did not have faith in her, but I did. (Fuck, I really did.) Hedvig had forced blood from my mouth before, my nose as well. She'd bruised me time and time again, left me with scars and scrapes and cuts, but never had the pain been this unbearable. And then she tried to kiss the wound she'd just created, still fresh and tender and throbbing with every. single. beat. of my fucking heart, and it made the pain so much worse, but at the same time, so much better.

Hedvig Fabre was my drug: She made me feel alive the whole time she dug my grave. I pulled away, no longer able to handle how normal this was all supposed to be, how if this had not happened, we would probably be heading to the ring where kissing would definitely ensue. But no. We were here. And even after she left, and even after I left, part of me would always remain here.

"I'll miss you when you're gone." I said sternly, quietly. "A lot."

Last Edit: Feb 7, 2015 22:57:06 GMT -5 by dars

^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

tris 🍒
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scream | {hedvig/keifer} blitz Feb 8, 2015 0:16:27 GMT -5

Post by tris 🍒 on Feb 8, 2015 0:16:27 GMT -5

HEDVIG

FABRE

I almost scream in pain when he pulls away from me, but I know it's for the best.

"I'll miss you, too," I say, trying hard to force a smile onto my face. "A lot," I add, punching his shoulder in what I hope will come across as me being playful, but I probably seem more like a crippled puppy playing with a deflated ball than anything.

I bite my lip, rubbing the flesh on my arm, and I refuse to look down. To break our linked stares is not an option -- because I can't let him believe that I'm a coward. I blink, inhaling. "You're gonna root for me, yeah?" I ask, trying once again to bring life to my features. "Gonna keep the club running smoothly?"

I inhale; never exhale.

"Hey, um-...," I start, pursing my lips. "Watch Amber for me, okay? I-...," (~~I'm terrified of not being their to protect her.~~) my words falter momentarily, trying hard to keep everything I say in check.

"I trust you, Keifer."
-- and I trust that you'll wait on me; please, just wait on me.

X

all my girls got their lace and their crimes.

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scream | {hedvig/keifer} blitz Feb 8, 2015 0:55:13 GMT -5

Post by dars on Feb 8, 2015 0:55:13 GMT -5

k e i f e r d e g r a w

"Gonna keep the club running smoothly?"

No.

Suddenly, as soon as her words slipped into my mind, a new thought hit me, just as devastating, just as painful: "The club won't be the same without you, Heddy. Nothing Will." I fucking hated how much truth my words were laced with. I wished this was one of Hedvig's stupid jokes -- one of those she thought were a lot more funny than they really were, but I would still chuckle at them to make her feel good. But no. This was real. It was too real.

"Hey, um-... Watch Amber for me, okay? I-... I trust you, Keifer." I held my breath, trying to find the words to say without seeming like a complete jackass. But the ones that ended up slipping out were probably the worst ones that could have: "Why... are you talking like you won't be coming back?" There was a pause, only a few seconds, though it felt like yet another century. I saw her mouth open to answer, and the door swung open. "Time, pretty boy." A peacekeeper grabbed my forearm and I shook him off. "Okay, hold on -- Just let me-" He grabbed me again with more force and two of his friends joined in to help. "Let go!" They began dragging me out, and I tried my hardest to yank myself free, but to no avail. "I just have to-- Hedvig! I lov-"

The door slammed shut, and so did my heart.

Last Edit: Feb 8, 2015 0:56:00 GMT -5 by dars

^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

tris 🍒
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scream | {hedvig/keifer} blitz Feb 8, 2015 14:33:48 GMT -5

Post by tris 🍒 on Feb 8, 2015 14:33:48 GMT -5

HEDVIG

FABRE

The words he tried to say are as empty as the room is now --
as empty as I feel on the inside; I'm just the fragile shell of a hardened girl.

He had questioned why I phrased my words as if I might not come back home, even attempted to say something that I want to believe was an exclamation of his love for me; despite how crucial I'm sure all of it was for me to hear, I was rewarded with only a thud of the door. And despite all of the emotional turmoil running high through my veins, pumping through my heart --
I only blink.

He's gone, and I am, too. He knows I'm not as recklessly certain as I usually am; that, for once in my life, I can't say that I already know the outcome. That in a few weeks time, I'll come back home with a crown on my head, singing "I told ya so!" And it hurts. It hurts to know that the last facade of mine he might see is of cowardice and uncertainty.

I want to claw the door open, charge out of the building and find him; I want to force him to tell me those three words I've been dying to hear all of my life, but-... Because of how empty my world is now and because of all the fears that I have suppressed --
I only blink.