Too late to make amends [Mason and Ally JB blitz]

I'm not sure what I expected really. The only feeling I have right now would be an odd sense of relief. Ironic considering my going into the arena will almost certainly ensure my death. I've realized no amount of preparation will adequately prepare me for the real horrors. I'm not even sure If I will have any visitors. I want to use this time alone to reflect on what I've done. Things that could have happened differently. I regret not spending more time with my brother. He's going to watch his brother die in the games and might not care either. The things I've done to him breaks my heart. I vow to win the games for him. When the door opens and Ally's voice fills the room, I can only silently nod. I have to keep my temper in check. Everything she says is true. Much as I want to deny what's being said there's no words that escape. I hear something placed on a shelf and turn around to hear her say goodbye. I pick up her trademark knife and mess around with it briefly. "Goodbye huh? Who says I'm not coming home."

She lectures me on the differences between killing and training. I may not have hands on experience with taking a life, but I guess in a few weeks that will change. I want to say I'm ready to take a life. Only that probably wouldn't be the truth. Ally has a point about taking a life. Her knife is still in my grasp. A tear forms in my eye as I throw the knife at the wall behind her. She may have wanted to make amends. I don't have to guess much about the contents of the letter if she's saying it'll be empty when I return. I've lost so much in my life that this point I expect to lose much more than just my humanity. "That's just it. I don't have any light left in me. If you want to delude yourself into thinking I'm a not a bad person well don't watch the screen if you can."