if you must leave ♢ [ hedvig & amberly ] ♢ jb blitz

if you must leave darling

leave as though fire burns under your feet

and if you must die, sweetheart

die knowing your life was my life's best part

They tried to take me from her once. But I was so tired of fighting, of crying, of clinging to her because I had nobody else. I was so desperate to stay with her forever and so desperate to be loved by a family again and I didn't know what to do.

They've taken her from me again. But I don't want her to go. She chose to raise her hand and in that moment my heart swelled with pride and ached with despair. I would fight with her and cling to her and beg her not to go - but I'm never one to hold my sister back. I am her support even though she doesn't need it. She doesn't need me to prove to people her strength, her determination, her ruthlessness. She can do all that on her own now.

Perhaps she wanted to leave me. Perhaps she wants independence. But she left me once and came back, like she said she would, and I'm thinking of that moment as I run through the halls, past puzzled Peacekeepers who could have sworn they just escorted me her one of us into the room I force myself into.



("Stay here."


"Don't leave me!"


"I'll never leave you. Never, I promise.")



I fly into her arms.


"I'm so proud of you," I gush, holding back tears. I wonder if she knows if they're good tears or bad, because I sure don't.

"I'll miss you, Hed."