Starting over from scratch[Ally standalone]

Starting over from scratch[Ally standalone] Feb 22, 2015 21:06:35 GMT -5

Post by Sage on Feb 22, 2015 21:06:35 GMT -5

I CAN'T TURN BACK TIME

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ALLYSSA ▲ TORNHELL

Snip, snip

Strands of black hair fall to the ground below the scissors held in my fingers which I use to cut away the past. A symbolic gesture if you will of the life I am choosing to begin because I can't keep doing this, I can't keep killing people because one of these days, I'm going to be caught. What if losing Mason is my punishment for everything I've done up to this point in my life? I have been keeping an eye on how he's doing in the games but not overly closely. He did well in training, scoring an 11 which is one of the highest scores he could have scored, and he's relatively alive for now.

I gaze at my reflection in the mirror, gazing at my new hair, it's now just below my ears and I like it, it makes me look very different from what I used to look like and it makes sure that nothing is hidden, including the number of scars on my face. I have things that need closure, things that I still need to do before I leave this apartment for good, one of those things is the letter that will be waiting for Mason when he gets home. I cross the room and sit down at my desk, pulling out a sheet of paper and a pen, I begin to write.

Dear Mason,
~~I know you probably won't read this~~ Congratulations at winning, I knew you'd come home. I want to say that I'm sorry, I'm sorry for how much I hurt you and nothing I could ever do could ever make up for how much pain I put you through. I regret it every single day and if I could go back and change the past, I would, but I can't now. Like I promised, you'll never see me again but don't worry, I'm still here, I just don't look at all like I used to and I don't want you to see me. I don't ever expect you to forgive me for how much I hurt you but I ask you to understand that I never meant to fuck up our relationship, I never meant for things to go the way they did. I wish I wasn't as much of a coward as I am and could actually face you but I'll admit, I'm afraid of you, I'm afraid to look you in the eye and ask for your forgiveness because I'm afraid of how you'll react. I'm happy you've won and I hope that your years as a Victor are good to you. Until our paths cross again,

~Lyssa

I sign with the name that I gave him when we first met before folding it and putting it into an envelope. I seal the envelope and write Masons name on it, placing it on my desk before I stand. I have plans, arrangements to make to make sure that Phina is taken care of when I leave, I don't want her going to my uncle, I cannot condemn her to the same life I grew up living.

I pack up my things along with my daughters things before I take her from her bed and wrap her in a blanket, then, with one final look at the place I have lived in for the last several years, I leave to head off into the world to make a new start. I have an idea as to where I'll bring my daughter as the community home is not an option but perhaps if I give her to Becka, she'll look after her. My apprentice, it seems, is my only friend left in this world and I trust her more than I ever could have imagined. It doesn't take long to find her place and I kiss Seraphina once on the forehead in a good bye kind of way before I knock on Beckas door and leave my daughter on the doorstep. Keep her safe, Becka. I pray.

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It doesn't take me long to make my way to the peace keeper academy, the place where I will start my life over, redeem myself by bringing peace to Panem. An older male who looks about in his late thirties older forties greets me and asks me to state my business.

"My name is Alana Thornheart and I wish to become a peace keeper"
▲ T E M P L A T E B Y C H E L S E Y ▲

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