This Deathless Death // [Safe]

Baby Wessex d9b [earthling]
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cameron stood in line for an hour for a stupid ride for me <3 best <3

This Deathless Death // [Safe] Feb 26, 2015 19:33:40 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Baby Wessex d9b [earthling] on Feb 26, 2015 19:33:40 GMT -5

a note from the desk of

Mace Emberstatt

of District Ten

when you never thought that it could ever get this tough,
that's when you feel my kind of love

He clutched the duvet beneath his chin, the length of it stretched down his back and across the paisley carpet. He'd been shivering when Opal had found him in the furnace room. Leaving the warmth behind had not been easy, but it had been necessary. He was a father, a brother, a confidant. He couldn't just fold. People needed him.

Even the ghosts.

Except Sundra Wie wasn't a ghost. She was corporeal, tongueless, but otherwise whole. She was a mystery, maybe even a discovery. How? Why? He couldn't fit the pieces of her puzzle together, and he should have called Calliope Bloom already, but he hadn't, and now he wasn't sure he could talk through the constant shivering. His teeth clattered as he stepped to the full sized window overlooking the Capitol. All of Panem stretched at his feet, but he was no more their King than they his subjects.

In the end, he was just a crownless boy clinging to a quilted cape.

For a time, even knowing she was there at his side, Mace let himself shiver. For a time, it was so quiet, the world an endless sea of white. For a time, bent over the Longsword of Charas, he had mourned them.

He stirred. "I don't even know what's real. I can't tell if I'm actually h-here," he said, a shiver breaking through the final word. "And if it is real, I ain't got no understanding of why the torture just goes on and on. What do they want from me?"

His face pinched, eyes squinting to hold back tears. Deep down, Mace knew exactly what the Capitol wanted: absolutely subservience. He'd just never been very good at obeying.

credit umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars]

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bloomtodeath

This Deathless Death // [Safe] Mar 16, 2015 22:39:52 GMT -5

Quote

Post by ✨ zozo. on Mar 16, 2015 22:39:52 GMT -5

SAFFRON LOWE

[presto]

I'VE WATCHED YOU CRASH AND BURN A THOUSAND TIMES AGAIN
I KNOW THAT SMILE YOU WEAR IS WAITING FOR THE END

[/presto]

I am cold-

Closing my eyes when they look at me. Scowling at those who want to pretty me up for an oh-so special occasion. Flinching at his touch and at his presence, sealing my lips together with ice. I was summer, before all of this became my life. And now I am winter - harsh, bitter, never-ending.

I am cold-

Staring up at the blue sky and waiting to be whisked away. Boom, boom, boom. I swear that I die. Covered in blood, Lucy stands above me and she's killed me. I'm sure of it. My arm says otherwise. In a breath something collides with her ribcage and I ~~feel~~ hear a snap. She crumples to the ground. I scream.

I am cold-

When my mother looks at me with sad, sad eyes. I am eighteen years old and demand that I deserve to know the truth about the man I cannot remember. She tells me all she knows, which is nothing. It is not enough. I board the same train my father did when they went to cut out his tongue. I can't breathe. I can't speak. Once again, all I can mutter are names. August Lowe. August Lowe. August Lowe.

I am cold-

When Mace shivers, I can feel the ice underneath my skin tremble. I had always wondered if Mace had suffered the same way as I did: sucked into the arena days and weeks and months after I had left it behind. Walls grew vines. Lifts became trees. Slams of doors became canons and I felt so small. Perhaps he hadn't. But they're doing it to him now and it makes my blood boil. I've been angry at the wrong people for so long, blinded by the fatal winter they thrust us back into.

I am cold, and I thaw as he speaks.

"It's a reminder," I reply slowly, a hand reaching out to halt the trembling in his own. Ghosts are everywhere in this damned place. "A sick, sick reminder." It's always a little girl, so I don't forget them. And now it's another frozen graveyard so Mace doesn't either.

"They don't want you to forget."

♔

“and men said that the blood of the stars flowed in her veins.”

Baby Wessex d9b [earthling]
Administrator

9,638 POSTS
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last seen Nov 10, 2024 11:48:08 GMT -5

cameron stood in line for an hour for a stupid ride for me <3 best <3

This Deathless Death // [Safe] Mar 19, 2015 16:58:09 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Baby Wessex d9b [earthling] on Mar 19, 2015 16:58:09 GMT -5

a note from the desk of

Mace Emberstatt

of District Ten

when you never thought that it could ever get this tough,
that's when you feel my kind of love

Months ago, a layer of ice had formed between them. He hadn't expected it (~~he hadn't expect so many things~~). One conversation that twisted and snarled, taking on a life of its own. Ever since, every conversation had been tainted by the encroaching crystals. Even in the train to the Capitol, they had spoken through the layer, their words dulled by their disagreement.

He had forgotten what it was like to actually speak with Saffron. Not to dance around the subject of tributes, but to unburden himself and hear her unburdening.

She stilled his trembling hand. He opened his cape, folding her against him. There had been a time when she fit beneath his arm, against his ribs. Now, she easily met his shoulder. He tucked the duvet around her, capturing the warmth, and marveled at the miracle that she may still yet grow another few centimeters or inches. That she may still yet grow another few years or decades. Weren't those measurements worth the pain of memories?

"That's the problem, ain't it? They ain't victors. They don't know it's impossible to forget. And I ain't got the right to say this but I wish it were easier. I can't hardly stand myself some days already. I don't need any help."

But of course, Saffron already knew that. Mace sighed, a deep exhalation that stilled the shivering. The city lights of the Capitol glittered, bright upon dark. "Sometimes, I think maybe I am forgetting. I can't remember the sound of Denver's voice no more. Don't know if I ever knew how Aesop smelled. Shouldn't I remember those things? Do you?"

Last Edit: Mar 19, 2015 22:38:33 GMT -5 by Baby Wessex d9b [earthling]

credit umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars]

credit ✨ zozo.

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✨ zozo.
Retired Staff

8,205 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
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bloomtodeath

This Deathless Death // [Safe] Mar 19, 2015 21:45:14 GMT -5

Quote

Post by ✨ zozo. on Mar 19, 2015 21:45:14 GMT -5

SAFFRON LOWE

[presto]

HAUNTED, I'M SWIMMING IN THE DEAD SEA
WARM MY HEART, SET MY HANDS ON FIRE
AND I'M BURNING TO ESCAPE THE COLD

[/presto]

I am home.

I've missed this. Without Mace's warmth I was freezing over. Winter wrapped me up in it's chilling embrace, clutched at me with icicle talons and threatened to stop my heart ~~again~~ from beating in my chest. My home is solid, indestructible, something the Capitol can't turn against me - or so I thought. These Games have taken too many from me. Too many from us. (I think of Opal and the shell she became after the 67th, the flashes of Elon that flicker on television screens back at home, and Eye on the day he forgave me.) I won't let my home fall. I won't let them ruin him.

"I can't remember their names" I whisper, my confession drenched in guilt. My fingers tighten and my heart pounds and I'm terrified of collapsing into the cold once more. "I promised I would. But..."

There are nights where I awake and reach for the hands that pulled me back up into reality, but as more and more nights pass I find no ghosts to help me. Instead I reach for their names to fill blank spaces, clawing underneath my bed for the old wooden box, tracing their engravements over and over. Yet still, their faces begin to fade as their names disappear from my memory. District One... Emery and...

Emery and...

"I'm forgetting."

There's too many new names to replace the old ones. Aurora and Thistle and Marianne and Darius and Kirk and Esme and Bree and Jordan. They were my saving grace and now they are my downfall, a reminder of my failures year after year. And I've let them down. I've let everyone down.

"I want it to be easy, too." (I should have told him this months ago.) "That's why I said what I said." I can feel Mace's heart beneath my fingertips and it gives me courage, as he always has, to keep on going.

"We're-" my voice cracks onto the echoing walls of our enclosure and it almost hurts to hear it breaking "-we're only human."

If only the Capitol understood that.

♔